Travel Tips

How many emos does it take to paint a wall?
It depends how hard you throw them at it :)

How do you cut an emo sandwich?
You don't need to, It cuts itself..

I wish my lawn was emo, then it would cut itself.

How do you *** an emo?
Give it a knife.

What do you call a crap female emo?
A man.

How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?
1: None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
2: One to change it, one to cry about it, and one to write a poem about it.

Why did the Emo cross the road?
Because his girlfriend dumped him, and he wanted to make this fact evident to passing traffic.

Did you hear about the emo pizza?
It cuts itself!

How do you get an emo out of a tree?
cut the rope

(To the tune of "if you're happy and you know it...")
"If you're emo and you know it, slit your wrists!"

What's an emo's favourite Divinyls song?
"When I Think About You I Cut Myself"

When is the only time you wink at an emo?
When you're staring at him through a sniper scope.

Two emos jumped off a cliff, which one lands first?
Why the *** would I care?

What do you call a dead emo?
A ***ing good start.

Why do emos have crap hair?
They cut it themselves.

Two people are walking down a street, suddenly an emo is shot and dies as the other emo runs off crying. The first person says "Oh my god, someone just shot that emo! Did you see?", the second person replies "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I was too busy reloading my gun".

What do you call an emos diary?
1: Their will.
2: Stupid

What do you say to a crippled emo?
Nothing, you already told him once.

What is the special time of the month called when an emo girl bleeds?
Seeing other people.

What do you say at an emos funeral?
Good riddance.

What has 4 eyes, 4 limbs and draws blood?
An emo.

Why can't a female emo perform oral?
The only thing they think about sucking is life.

What do you call a dead 16 year old emo?
A delayed miracle

When's the only time you let an emo "open up"?
When there's someone helping them... with a knife.

Whats the difference between a dead deer in the road, and a dead emo in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the deer

What are the main symptoms of Emo-ness?
Blindness of one eye, bleeding mascara and leeking eyes.

What do you get if you cross an emo with a groid?
Michael Jackson

What happens when you have 5 emos in a square room?
One dies because he has no corner to cry in.

What's the best thing about beating up an emo?
Watching him cry about it to his boyfriend afterwards, telling him how good it was.