Travel Tips

This is Carl, BerniShands husband over 25+ years. He is one of the finest people I know. Generous, kind hearted, and he makes poached eggs better than anyone else in the world. One of the things I like best about Carl is his laugh. The first time I really took notice of his laugh happened when Berni, SueT and he picked me up at my hotel in London to head back to Upwell. Berni made a wise crack, Carl threw his head back and laughed. It was a genuine, heart felt laugh and it was at that precise moment that I knew the week ahead was going to be a good one.

Addendum 2007: Carl loves so completely and passionately. Yes of course for his wife but he is a loving and compassionate friend as well. He would literally give you the shirt off his back if he thought you would benefit from it. I dearly love and respect this man for you could never know and I could never fully explain the depth of his dear, brave soul.

For Carl: A poem

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message She Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Aside from the world's best egg poacher, Carl is a man of many talents. He can build things, take things apart like the shower when it was dripping one night, (Kat suppresses a giggle here), he designed the very functional small but oh-so-homey kitchen where Berni and I would sit and have tea and toast in the morning. The kitchen floor has lights, yes that is correct, the floor has lights well, ok, in the baseboards then. 6/03/08: A side note here: I happened to be reading this page again and remembered Berni had left a pair of shoes on the floor and they caught fire from the lights. Now this is made me laugh because we all know how much she LOVED shoes.

Carl relaxes by watching "Judge Judy" with his pal Rufus, and together they "discuss" the cases and the verdicts.

I wanted to thank Berni and Carl for opening their home to me, so I had a bottle of nice "bubbly" shipped to their home. When we returned from London the champagne was ice cold and ready for the partaking. After a couple of sips Berni implored Carl to make a "champagne chair" Now this is a talent I have never seen before, he can make a chair out of the wire that covers a champagne cork! Really he can! (See the photo). I made sure that I packed this carefully and it now sits atop my mantle in our living room.

Gee, I forgot to show them my talent...how to make a towel rise up off the table.

But the best quality that Carl possesses is his capacity to love. This is a man who so dearly loves the light of his life (that would be Berni) as well as his children. I truly hope that his children someday know just what lengths he would go for them out of love.

Thank you for loving my dearest Berni like you do.