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Where the heroes rest

The funny backaches of an atheist

Location: Novodevichy Monastery in Moscow.
Attracted by the misty sounds of an orthodox liturgy the curious and unsuspecting enter and join the believers. After every refrain and the mentioning of "God save us!" the people in the know bow deeply. The tourist "implant" does not - it is not part of his conviction and he is here solely for the music anyway. What a grave mistake! It takes no longer than a few minutes and a terrible pain starts to crawl up the spine of the non-believer. Despite ill-fated optimism, the realisation that standing stubbornly upright promises nothing good sinks in. What might be the way out? Do what the crowd does and bow. In practically no time God has forgiven you and your back has been relieved from the misery.

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Homeland of Pagodas

Filthiest place on Earth

There are different religious rituals and they all have their practical or divine explanations. Another matter is dealing with the "side effects". In order to understand what is behind similar concern, the traveler has to visit one of the temples along the main street in old Kathmandu. The court yard has been a home for thousands of birds feeding on the religious feelings of the Nepalese and the unimaginable amounts of rice and other food products delivered to placate the gods.

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Religious Street Vendor

Religion for sale

One of the most sought-after features of Jerusalem is its connection to the three main religions of the modern world. Being such an "attraction" has not escaped the attention of the business-minded. While some sort of material "self-reliance" of the Holy Places has been institutionalised for thousands of years, it is the "free lancers" who are most intriguing to the newcomer. Unsuspecting visitors could be approached by Jewish clergymen right in the cobbled streets of Jerusalem and offered some blessings in exchange for money. The proof of payment seems to be a red thread carefully knotted around one's wrist.

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What Mosque looks like in India

Take your shoes off, will yeah?

This might not sound as a predicament but if you are in Delhi , you might think twice. One of the points of interest in this historically layered city is Jammu Masjid, right beside the Old City of Delhi. Being a mosque, it is a must to take your shoes off upon entering. That is OK but the shoes are to be removed before the entrance to the courtyard. This means that all flying creatures are allowed to poop and you are to walk over it. You choose whether to have your white socks on or follow the example of the locals and go barefoot. The good news is that you are not pregnant and the bad - your barefooted companions had just been up and down Old Delhi in the same footwear and collected some of the finest dirt on this planet.

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Treking to Zograf

There is no such a thing as a free lunch

Or the chosen few might think this is the case when visiting the Zograf monastery in Agion Oros. The legendary monastery wine and the god-blessed ambience of the monastery cafeteria might have relaxed you down to the level of total nirvana but there is another day. It starts at four o?clock in the morning with the bell call for prayer and yes, indeed, you are encouraged to leave your warm bed as fast as possible. What follows is a bit beyond this world, partly due to your half-wake state and partly because of the low lighting in the church. Then comes the melancholic and monotonous chanting of the head monk followed by his pupils' answers or rather their shadows- from opposite corners of the antechamber. By the time one moves to the main premises he (there are no females on this chunk of land) is quite awake and realises that this is not just a dream but a serious business. All atheistic preconceptions are to be put aside and the ritual is to be followed without any short cuts. Stubbornness is not welcomed and the displeasure of the Almighty will fall upon you through the monks? pale-faced anxiety and wide-eyed disdain which will be implanted on you for the rest of your worldly life.

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Yet another Pura

Lenin: "Religion is opium to the masses"

For long, long time this used to be the buzz word within one sixth of the Earth's land mass, even more. It is hard not to be humbled by this fact and just ignore it. Still, there is this thin layer of doubt oozing through the cracks of curiosity that makes the truth seekers look for a proof. Pura Besakih in the foot hills of the highest peak in Bali is a place where the clergymen or rather clergyboys seem to be so much in the clouds figuratively and literally that one wonders whether Lenin had been hanging out around here for more hands-on experience.

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1444 straight and 1 crooked

More of the same

For a lightning comparison with a Hindu off-shoot, the Jain faith, the sceptics can visit one of their most revered temples on the Rajasthan Royal trail between Jodhpur and Udaipur. Here in the mute presence of 1444+ columns the nosy visitor venturing beyond the main courtyard can have a prayer custom-tailored specifically for him in one of the chapels surrounding the temple. This is only if one manages to figure out from the dosed monk what actually his plea is all about. To cement the feeling that your money went for a good cause, you might hear that the guru's guru of your conduit to the gods was a compatriot of yours.

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Unification is the way!

Believers of the world, UNITE!

Some benevolent fellows are trying to unify the religions of the world and their attempt is admirable because most of the faiths are products of plagiarism anyway. What makes unification impossible is the fact that the different denominations are the precursors of the modern political parties where people unify on the basis of difference, not on the basis of sameness. Once firmly entrenched into this premise they are able to bicker endlessly which in turn is a convinient tool in the hands of the organizers of their distinction.