"My Arch Nemesis and Other Stuff About Me" by emilienoelle

Rachel Ray of the Food Network is the natural enemy of all that is light and holy on this earth. There isn't a whole lot more to say about it either, except that if I ever catch her perky @ss on the street she'd better watch her back.

The Last Picture Show
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
The Spanish Prisoner
Before Night Falls
The Milagro Bean Field War
Wild at Heart
AmoresPerros
The Last Temptation of Christ
Fight Club
Napoleon Dynamite
The Blues Brothers
Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!

I was born on 1/11 at 1:11 in the afternoon.

I am not allergic to anything and I have never had to wear glasses, so I am pretty lucky.

I am afraid of horses. I'm convinced that they are going to bite my hand off.

I prefer swimming in salt water to fresh.

I can get a sunburn in about 5 minutes, so I never leave the house without wearing at least SPF 15. Never.

I think squid are delicious.

I don't like killing bugs, or anything else for that matter.

I have a huge flower garden and sometimes I hang out in it all day pulling weeds. I actually like pulling weeds.

I own more than 100 pairs of shoes.

Clutter bugs the hell out of me. If things get too cluttered in my house I am known to clean up into the trash can and not look back. This drives other people crazy.

I have never broken a bone.

I am horribly afraid of needles.

I prefer cities to suburbs or even to the country. I can't sleep without street noise and I never want to live any place where I can't walk to the store.

I think that Margaret Sanger was the most influential person in modern history.

I think that sometimes in order to get what you want you have to do a lot of things that you don't want to do.

Northern Exposure was my favorite TV show of all time.

I secretly want a little lap dog to carry around with me. I'd also like to dress the dog in little outfits. But I think I'll wait until I'm 70 or 80 to do this. Gives me something to look forward to.

I have totalled 3 cars in my life. Only 2 of them were really my fault.

I once dated a guy who had obessive-compulsive disorder. It was terrible, but now it makes an amusing story.

The sight of blood, unless it's my own, makes me feel faint.

I hate centipedes!

I really like being alone.

I cried when I saw the orignal Kermit the Frog at the Smithsonian Museum.

Rob Zombie
Garrison Keilor
Tim Burton
Johnny Depp
Hillary Clinton
Marilyn Manson
Michael Moore
Wolfgang Puck
Martha Stewart
Amos Vogel
Stanley Kubrick (Yes, I know he's dead!)
Queen Latifa
Anthony Bourdain

There are some words that I like just for the way that they sound. It's fun to use them in conversation as often as possible. Yes, I know that's weird:

Rotisserie--I love this word. I have since I was a kid.

Elephant--There was an elephant on the rotisserie. (See it's fun!)

Flabbergasted--We were flabbergasted to find an elephant on the rotisserie.

Debauchery--It sounds really good when you say it, plus it makes you seem cool. "You should have seen the debauchery over at Ms. Jen's place this weekend."

Fiduciary--I know this is a weird, legalese type of word, but I always have thought that it sounds more like an insult. "That Bob is such a fiduciary."

Hasenpfeffer -- (Spicy stew containing rabbit!) This word was kindly provided by Ms. Jen who rightly says that it would sound great if I said it with my Boston accent: "Hassenfeffah" : )
"I would love it if Rachel Ray drowned in a vat of hasenpfeffer!"
(Sentence also provided by Ms. Jen. Thanks, Ms. Jen!)

Swashbuckling--This is but one among many cool pirate-related words. "Although he was missing an eye, Captain Edward still could make the ladies by swoon with his swashbucking good looks."

Bodacious--VT member benwrite wrote to me and suggested this word, and I knew right away that is was for me. As he suggested, it works best when used as a synonym for "great", as in: "Dude, that's such a bodacious ride!"

Bacchanalia--This sort of goes along with debauchery, but it's also a good word on it's own: "Against her better judgement, she joined the bacchanalia taking place on the pool deck."

Roughhousing--This word seems a bit like it would refer to a shed make out of old planks, but it means "playing rough" especially when it comes to kids. I have no idea where this word came from! "Guests who participate in roughhousing will be evicted from the pool area."

Smarmy--Sometimes no other word will suffice. Now when you need to say: gross, disturbing, creepy-crawly, annoying, audacious, god-damned, low-down and bastardly all at the same time, you've got it: Smarmy.

Cad--Sometimes this works well on its own: "Although Xavier imagined himself to be a modern-day Don Juan, the ladies in the know all saw him as a cad." In stronger situations this word can be modified by "smarmy".

Spatula--My new VT friend, and fellow yankee, gilescory suggested spatula for this word list the other day and I think it fits right in. "Robbie couldn't figure out how to flip his pancakes after he had misplaced his spatula."