Travel Tips

Hi, I'm Steed and I am John's favourite umbrella.

I think John introduced me elsewhere, but he says he's forgotten where it was - that's John for you, memory of a goldfish, too much booze that's what I reckon.

Anyway, here's my little tale of a day out with John:

It all started a couple of weeks ago after John went to Lynton and started putting his page together - then he started thinking about other old haunts of his and says to me " Hey Steed, do you remember Ilchester?"

"Ilchester? Nope - I think we only met in Exmouth, didn't we?"

So John says, "Was Exmouth after Ilchester then?"

Told you - memory of a goldfish!

"OK then, how about a day out in Ilchester?"

"Why not?" I replied. And so we get a lift the following morning into Totnes from our mate Steve - in his fancy Japanese sports car - VROOM!

I think John wants to do his own travelogue about this trip, but he's going to put it on his Ilchester page, so i nabbed this spot on his homepage, and got in first! HeHe!

Oh, what a palaver - got to Totnes, (cheers Steve!), John had a bacon and egg buttie and a mug of tea, leaving poor old me hanging over the back of his chair - didn't even offer me a sip, far less a nibble - he's a bit selfish that way, I do all the work of protecting him from the rain and what thanks do I get? Yep your right, none!

John bought his ticket - day return to Yeovil, no probs so far, got on train and what did he do? - he fell asleep (told you, too much booze the night before) and woke up at Exeter, where we were supposed to change, unfortunately just after they'd locked the doors before departure.

Well I always wanted to visit Tiverton Parkway anyway, never been - it is actually quite a nice little station, bit modern for my tastes, but......really friendly woman at cafe there.

John had a double espresso which woke him up a bit and we waited for the next train back to Exeter to continue our journey.

That's John for you - Mr Disorganisation!

Finally we got to Ilchester, the sun was shining (made me a bit redundant - such is life, nice to get a break from it all from time to time) and of course what does John do?

"Quick, quick Steed, lets get some photos, whilst the light is good."

Me, I just let him get on with it, had myself a little snooze outside the Ilchester Arms Hotel and waited for him to come back and pick me up.

He reckons he got some good photos - ha! can't go wrong with a decent digital camera - tho he does have bad camera shakes sometimes!

He says he only had a couple of pints - and so I says, "Yeah, how many is a couple?"

"About 2-ish."

I know him too well - he had 2 in Dolphin, then 4 more in Ilchester Arms -tsk tsk!

But at least we made it to the bus stop to get the bus back into Yeovil!

He didn't really buy me this beer at all, but he's gone to loo, so am having a crafty slurp! This is O'niells - shame that my favourite barmaid's not there as she can finish the Guiness with a perfect 4-leaf shamrock - with serrations!

He's gone for a pee again and left me looking out for the bus - it is a hard old life being an umbrella! Talk about not being appreciated, well perhaps he does in his own way, but all this hangin around..............

John tried to make me lie about this photo - he said "Tell them it's from Newton Abbot."

"You were phoning me a taxi back to Widecombe."

I'm an umbrella of principle and I won't lie for anyone, not even John. We are still at Yeovil Junction station, just after 6pm, waiting for train, and John decides to set this totally unrealistic photo up - hey, come-on, can an umbrella really use a phone?

John obviously writes the captions as well cos I'm not really very good at typing, what with having no fingers and all that - if you are an umbrella yourself, you'll know what I mean!

We finally get home about 10 pm - John insisted on having another couple of beers at The Railway in Newton Abbot, before getting "Tinky" the taxi man to take us home - great taxi driver, never charges us supplements and is really nice guy - picking us up on Sunday night/Mon morning week after next at 0015 for overnight train to London on way to Prague and only charging £25 - cool guy - but that's a digression..............ach living so long with John I'm even starting to sound like him!

Anyway, got home, off to bed, that'll be me on my lonesome now 'cos he's only gone downstairs for Julie T's last night - and I bet he's still drinking now - tosh to him, at least I've got a good book to round the day off.

And boy will he be jealous when he finds i've taken up his last personal album space - serves him right for being so inconsiderate!

Night Night All VTer's, sweet dreams, LOL, Steed.

"HAHA Steed ..........tee hee hee "Cod Liver Oil and The Orange Juice."

See what I mean - drunk as a skunk he is, and molesting me.........help! Police, Fire Brigade, Ambulance ...........is anyone out there? Please...........please..........