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| Page Views: 1,595 | Oh so funny jokes (~_~) by freya_heaven - last update: Aug 9, 2005 |
The Language of the European Commission The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
(~___--)
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Corporate Lesson
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder
lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish.
I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted
"I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch ".
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always allow the boss to speak first
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Hehehe A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologised. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, and you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
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While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ... and into the hole he gooooes."
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 Comments for freya_heaven about World | | | | |
aadil Sat Apr 4, 2009 18:39 UTC
A belated but very Happy Birthday to you!!! May all your travel dreams come true and may Freya grow up to be like her namesake!!! | johngayton Fri Apr 3, 2009 13:24 UTC
Very Happy Birthday Nicola, just in case you drop in - have a good one! Cheers, John | sachara Fri Apr 3, 2009 13:02 UTC
Nicola, happy birthday greetings from the Netherlands ! | a2lopes Fri Apr 3, 2009 11:16 UTC
Happy birthday Nicola, and many returns of the day. Greetings from Lisbon which is waiting for your visit next May for the Euromeeting. It will be nice to return to Portugal... |
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