"Even older stuff!" by dmrtn

Nov 17 - Work is getting me down. Have reduced my time online to try to deal with it. So I've been very quiet. Apologies to those who miss my smart a*s.

Nov 4 I've been busy, ok? ;-)

- The best optical illusion I've seen in some time

Sept 23 At last ...

- Cats in sinks. Its about cats. In sinks.
- DANCE DANCE GABBA GOAT! WA-HEY!! Apparently its a game.
- Remember the last Pope? Remember him "vibrating"? Me neither.
- Alan Cumming. The Fragrance.
- Read Joelle's heartbreaking story at the bottom.
- Don't feed him after midnight!
- Fantastic Game. Run around like a blue arsed fly.

TOP TIP: Stop cheese from sweating by removing the plastic packaging and wrapping it in tin foil. This will also prevent the alien brain lasers from reading your cheese.

- Runaway Ostrich. Its as simple as that.
- Baby Badgers. Awwww.
- A real Video game. Weird, but enthalling.
- Monkeys in Space! Lots of games about.
- Puzzle Game.
- Pokemon gets lucky.
- Weird. But pious.
- Why do women live longer than men? Here are some clues.
- This is great! I'm a geography geek :-)
- Teach your child the basics of computer programming. No, really. Do.
- The first comment on this story renders it an all time classic.
- Judo? Gay? Never! You'll be accusing rugby next ...
- The Baby Otters!
- Sloths. Too cute to have a mortal sin named after them?

Aug 24

Just returned to work this morning after a hectic few weeks which included my brother's stag party in London, his wedding in Germany and a gig last night with the Kings Of Leon and The Pixies. I think i came back to work for a rest ... :-)

Special addition -
This one is a special one for anyone who's ever had to work in Technical Support (Quicktime needed)

Aug 3 - Linky, linky.

- Thats what baby Pandas look like??? No wonder they're nearly extinct
- Bored in the office? Why not make some lethal weapons?
- A ridiculously simple and addictive game :-)
- Sherriff John Bunnell, Crime Fighting Hero
- High speed slaps slowed down!
- Needlepoint for MEN! ROAR!
- Dog attacks porcupine. Porcupine wins, but everyone recovers :-)
- Ladies! Why not date Lance?
- I like this guy a lot :-)
- Dr. ***

Can't everyday be a Hoff day?

- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff
- Hoff

- My new hero
- Dog in Togs
- Don't do drugs kids!
- Meet Carlos!
- Sweet? Or freaky?
- What on EARTH does this company do???
- What the hell is that? Can a Norwegian speaker translate???
- Dog disguises :-)
- "The forehead inflation ... I am the only person in the world to do this!!"
- Immature? Moi?
- Korea Vs Japan in the Seoul subway
- You'd think he'd have learned his lesson after Jacko ...
- Despite my initial reservations Shopping lists are actually very entertaining :-)
- Tom Cruise Kills Oprah. Not much more I can say about this ...
- ITS LIKE HE'S ON THE MOON!!!
- Clouds! Yes, lots of lovely, weird clouds!
- An Origami Yoda
- All keyboards are not born equal. Geeks Behold!
- "How to Sex Your Rabbits" No, really.
- Have trouble reaching "that" spot?
- What the hell? Germans again! They're crazy, thats why we love them!
- The poor Queen!
- Hurrah for Penguins! Fly my pretties! Fly!
- If this dog isn't a female, its got some serious issues to deal with ...
- A little giraffe!!
- What makes Sandy Balls so special? Does Tiny Kox live here?
- Who's the Daddy? Timewasting at its finest.

- Larry Sanders Quotes. Could you beat this with big stick? No, you could not.
- Don't press the big red Button
- Some Alan Partridge clips for your enjoyment
- Games? You want games?
- Family Guy = Genius (.wmv file)
- This is quite worrying. I can understand some of the first entries given the conservative nature of the website, but as it goes down ...
- This is too perfect!
- WooHoo!! The perfect Irish plan for summer!
- Stong man stunts!
- Don't trust your wife or daughter? Want to know when their temperature is rising? Then this is the product for YOU!
- A Chicago Crime map. As unusual as it sounds.
- Doomed! The impending tragedy of the crow who mothered a kitten
- CATS! For gods sake, don't trust 'em!
- The people with odd names just keep on comin'
- Absolutely ridiculous ...
- Wow! MSPaint did THIS???
- Lionel Richie's video for "Hello". A masterpiece!
- Stanley Unwin. A genius? Possibly ...
- Awwwwww
- Take your Commie freedom of the press and First Amendment back to Commie-land! We don't like your type around here ...
- He says what we all think!
- Who says the world is getting obese? Rubbish!
- Very interesting Stats
- Beware of the signposts!
- Disney? An evil, theiving corporation who's founder has the most worrying moustache ever? Surely not!

Are those my feet?

Just in case anybody's interested, I'm not very good at creating tips and such and such. I'll answer any question I can about places I've been and most of my stuff is done with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. I don't think there's anything offensive here but if you are offended ... well I'm not sorry actually, but it wasn't intentional :-)

I change my name, motto and link as often as I feel like, but thats ok because the people I give a sh*t about know what I'm about :-)

And just to add, anyone can and should write to me. Who doesn't enjoy getting emails? I'm pretty good at responding too, even if I do say so myself :-p

- I'm not a big Star Wars fan but I DO have a favourite character ...
- Probably have to be from the UK or Ireland to recognise Pob
- Tiny Kox has a competitor! At last.
- I'm worried about this squirrel. He may need counselling in later life ...
- Filth!
- Hurrah for kids, especially with pots on their heads!
- A page of photos, which has since disappeared, was on the net showing a girl who's expression was odd, but it was EXACTLY the same in every photo ... and this animation shows just how odd it is.

- I'd never thought I would use the words Jar-Jar Binks and Genius in the same sentence ...
- I'm sure I left my wallet in my other jacket ...
- Catch the Kittens! (game)
- Puppies Galore!
- I'd never fit into one of these but I WANT ONE!
- I dunno why but i just plain ol' find it amusing.
- Now this is just plain ol' weird
- A game of Cat Buckaroo anyone?
- Funny and oddly sad. Genius
- A spoof blog? Maybe, but its funny
- Whats your favourite super-strength, cheap lager? Don't know? Well luckily these guys can help you!
- Funny and scary at the same time
- Got pennies but no life? Then this is for YOU!
- Are you a StreetFighter fan? These guys are. Or they're just bored
- Feeling cold? Lonely? Hug a Tiger.
- An Unsolicited Commercial Love Story
- 13 things that do not make sense - Very interesting
- Just saw a programme last night about the area of Petra in Jordan. It looked incredible. I really want to go there now :-)
- Do you love kittens too?
- Farfarfarfarfar ...
- A newspaper column by English comedian/satirist Chris Morris, it'll take some time to read but the turn of phrase impresses me. Let me know what you think ...
-A missive written by a guy who's approaching 30 :-) No, not me.
- What would Jesus do if he were a lard-ass? He'd go on a 40 day diet, of course
- This is brilliant. The genius is in the detail
- I LOVE Indiana. And so should you.
- Care for a German, sir?
- Top Five Online Scams
- Bauer is then forced to choose between Coca-Cola and root beer while the cashier ponders a solution to the pickle crisis.
- O'Jays slam Timerlake
- Be the Best Badger you can
- The Rules of Modern Life
- Anyone tried this?

I spent just over one year in Derry, Northern Ireland (or Londonderry if you sway that way). Its a strange place. The Wild West was the closest description I could settle on. But I lived on a street of terraced houses where the front doors were left open from dawn til after dusk in summer and kids played on their tricycles on the street. Quite amazing in retrospect because this was around the year 2000, not the 1960's :-)

Of course, there is a dark side to this. A "self-policing society" is not a situation that can continue forever, with no form of redress and justice being administered by individuals not a system. In many ways this situation needed to be created and now the process of removing it is underway. It is difficult and there will be problems.

But Derry is a great city and one that will always hold a place in my heart. I met some amazing people, many ships passed in the night and I left a much better person. The train ride, entering the city from the East is incredible at night with the sight of the city built on a hill sweeping up from the River Foyle. if I was from Derry I would always try to return home like this.

Sometimes when things get tough there are people make things easier for you and others make things harder. It doesn't mean they are better or worse people, but somehow you emerge from the tunnel with less clutter and more certainties. Make sure these people know you appreciate them.

"When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other." -Chinese proverb

"If a triangle could speak, it would say, that God is eminently triangular, while a circle would say that the divine nature is eminently circular." -Baruch Spinoza, philosopher (1632-1677)

"You think your pains and heartbreaks are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who have ever been alive. -
James Baldwin, writer (1924-1987)

"You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage" - Terry Pratchett

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Another Family Guy excerpt -

Doctor: Well Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph: Is it pixie dust? Or, or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, its a tumor.
Rudolph: You mean, like a magical christmas tumor?
Doctor: No... a malignent tumor. The base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph: Oh. [pause] Like a happy special...
Doctor: You're going to die.

---

Doctor: Contraband check. (Pulls out cookies.) What are these?
Cookie Monster: I don't know!
Doctor: What do you mean"you don't know"?
Cookie Monster: I-I-I-I don't know how they got there!
Doctor: Well I think you DO know!
Cookie Monster: NO NO NO UH DERICK, D-DERICK WAS IN HERE UH EARLIER HE WAS UH MAKING THE, MAKING THE BEDS, HE PROBABLY PUT THEM, UH, I-I WHAS IN THE JOHN, (eats cookies, guards hold him down and give him an injection) AHH AHH AHH! YOU-YOU GUYS ARE NAZIS, MAN! YOU'RE FREAKIN' NAZIS!
Guard: Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!

---

Guy on Airplane: "Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby."
Stewie: "What did you just say?"
Lois: "Stewie, stop fussing."
Stewie: "Pipe down Lois." (Slaps guy on head) "Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my b*tch."