"Vinnie Jones Tried to Whack Me!" Los Angeles Travelogue by giampiero6

Soccer in LA and in the US is a very funny proposition all together. The best thing about it is that it is probably the most international and democratic pursuit you can do in the US.

In LA, we play against clubs of immigrants from all over the world.

Latino teams..mostly Mexican and Salvadoran, but also Colombian, Chilean, Honduran, Guatemalan, Costa Rican etc. Argentinian.

Armenian teams, Persian teams, African teams, Bajan Teams, English Teams, Irish teams,

My team is like the UN. It's made up of Italians, Americans, Englishmen, Germans, Mexicans, Chileans, A Nigerian, a French/Indian guy, and Israeli etc.etc.

Now in LA, the international stuff gets mixed up with some Star Sightings.

The first time I went to play in the new league. I was sitting in the stands watching the game before ours finish up...There was some guy with spiky frosted hair playing and I jokingly turned to my friend and said who's the jerk o** who thinks he's Rod Stewart? Well he said. "that would be Rod Stewart." We played against him a few years ago and for a 50 year old guy I gotta give him credit. I played against him a few times and kept kicking him in the legs and singing, "hot legs!" hahahaah

So last night. I was playing a game against Hollywood United, an english team, not exactly known for being a class act. Anyway. I was playing pretty well had scored and goal and was doing OK. So I started hearing from the sideline, "nail that number 6. Get stuck in to that number 6 etc." So the next thing I know I get a ball and turn the guy and before I can pass, I get whacked brutally from behind. Even without seeing the guy come at me I could tell that it was a cheap foul with no intention to even try to get the ball. I go flying and when I get up there's Vinnie Jones and the ref showing him the Red Card. He had been on for all of 1 minute. hahaah

Vinnie Jones was a professional Football Player for Wimbeldon in England. He was banned by the English FA for constant violent play and that violent streak has served him well in a burgeoning movie career. You may have seen Vinnie as a tough East London Killer and Criminal in Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Gone in 60 seconds etc.

Vinnie's most famous appearance however, for the Football Fans out there is the famous picture of him Grabbing a handful of Paul Gascoines baby makers. And fat Paul whincing in pain. About par for the course for Vinnie.

Anyway, so after the game, I went over to shake Vinnie's hand. "Atleast you didn't grab me in the nuts," I said.

hahaahahaha

Picture a publicitiy still from the movie Snatch

Cousin Avi and Bullet Tooth Tony
Photo by Sebastian Pearson - ©2000 - Screen Gems - All Rights Reserved

READ THE BOTTOM. THEY'RE REFERRING TO ME & MY PAL VINNIE

Gone in sixty seconds


Even Vinnie Jones lasted longer
Colchester defender Stephen Hunt won't forget his debut in a hurry.

The teenager lasted just 59 seconds before being sent off against Chesterfield.

Hunt, on as a 65th minute substitute, got his marching orders for chopping down two-goal striker Tcham N'Toya.

But it wasn't the quickest sending off of all time. Oh no, not by a long chalk.

That dubious honour belongs to Walter Boyd, who officially lasted for zero seconds flat when he played for Swansea against Darlington in 1997.

The Jamaican star came on as a substitute seven minutes from time after Swansea had been awarded a free kick.

But before his team had a chance to take it, Boyd elbowed Martin Gray and was promptly given his marching orders.

Referee Clive Wilkes had not restarted his watch so, in effect, Boyd was never really there.

Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman only managed to stay on the field for 13 seconds after handling outside his area against Wolves in 2000, while Italian defender Guiseppe Lorenzo lasted three seconds less playing for Bologna against Parma in 1990.

And what of our old favourite Vinnie Jones? The hardman was sent off a dozen times during his fiery career but his record for rapidity came after he had packed his bags for Tinseltown.

Jones came on as a sub for celebrity team Hollywood United and 15 seconds later was heading for an early bath after almost cutting an opponent in half.

As he ran off the pitch he turned to the crowd and shouted: "It's just like the old days!"

BBC SPORT WEBSITE
Sunday, 22 August, 2004,