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| Page Views: 9,331 | Him & Her :-s by marimar_72 - last update: Feb 13, 2009 |
A couple drove down a country road for
several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a
barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."*
------------------------
A husband read an article to his wife about
how many words women use
a day .... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The
wife replied, "The reason
has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men... The husband
then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"*
----------------------
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't
know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time." The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful
so you would be attracted
to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!* |
More Jokes Definition of Bravery:*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bravery is arriving home late after a night out, being confronted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning,or are you flying somewhere?*
Friends of women:*
A wife was not at home for a whole night.
So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she had to stay at
her girlfriend's apartment overnight.
So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them
confirmed that!*
Friends of men:*
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the
next morning, that he had to stay at his friend's apartment overnight.
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends.
5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night.
The other 5 claimed that he is still with them! |
Men And Directions! A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day
by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast
out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat
him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then
left, past the bridge, then right
again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe
distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a *** on the phone, I'm
lost and need directions!" *
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW
ONE every morning!!"* |
Male Vs Female Prayers FEMALE PRAYER*
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows the answer to "how big's my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER*
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big boobs who owns a liquor store
and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't really give a damn.
It is after all, a prayer, not a poem! |
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 Comments for marimar_72 about World | | | | |
monina_c Fri Oct 16, 2009 02:38 UTC
Marimar that plane ride was almost 40 yrs ago. It is funny what the mind remembers. :) I guess like me, that plane ride made your daughter eager for more! | ludogatto Sun Oct 11, 2009 21:59 UTC
Thank you for your wishes! | Quero Fri Oct 2, 2009 13:09 UTC
Thanks so much for the birthday greetings! They certainly made my day sunnier. | vdoortje Tue Sep 8, 2009 14:31 UTC
Shukran habibaty! Planning Egypt somewhere in Spring next year. Sadly not this year (new CV heater to be bought). Januari 2nd grandchild in the making!!!! After that... March I think or April |
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