"The Swedes Revealed" Personal Page by sunset_gal

The Swedes Revealed

by Colin Moon, communications trainer

What a web site! The official picture of Sweden. And it's mighty impressive. There is also, between you and me, an unofficial picture of Sweden and the Swedes.

And you're just about to read it.

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I have had the good fortune to live in Sweden for the past 20 years. So allow me to tell you a thing or two of which the Swedes themselves may not even be aware. They of course think they are normal, quite sensible, and quite logical. I think they are amusing, entertaining and, at times, really quite odd.

Sweden is a beautiful country. It is also an enormous country with very varied weather. That's why it is the main topic of conversation. There's lots of it. Weather, I mean, certainly not conversation. Let's face it, it's a safe subject to talk about. And anything that is safe is OK with Swedes. See the zipper on your trousers? It was a Swede who invented it. And you can't get much safer than that, can you?

Swedes pride themselves in being diplomatic and honest. You and the other 99% of the world's population who are not Swedish are wondering how you can possibly be both. Don't ask me how but Swedes somehow manage it. Being diplomats, they are also neutral. Hundreds of years of political neutrality has taught them never to take sides. Well, not until they know who is going to win. War is after all something foreigners do in other people's countries. Swedes discuss problems instead. They discuss at the United Nations, at union meetings and at the kitchen table. Everyone voices an opinion and everyone listens. Then they compromise. The word compromise is music to a Swede's ears. Everybody gets something. Not too much and not too little. Nobody wins and nobody loses.

I should imagine that we all want peace. It's just that Swedes want it even more. Swedes see themselves as extreme lovers of peace. The fact that the famous Swede Alfred Nobel invented enough dynamite to blast you and me into next week is beside the point. As they love peace so much they want to avoid conflict. Saying 'yes' or 'no' can lead to conflict so Swedes avoid these words and replace them with 'it depends', 'maybe' and 'I'll see what I can do'. You and I may get angry, the Swedes call it hysterical behaviour. Hysteria is abnormal and uncomfortable and should preferably not occur in office hours. If, on the other hand, a Swede ever tells you to go a place called 'hellsike', then, take my word for it, you've upset him.

Swedes love to be more average than most. When looking for a partner Swedes describe themselves in contact ads as being 'just an ordinary guy', or a 'usual kind of girl' who is 'just like everyone else'. Whereas you and I probably want to be seen as somebody special, Swedes actually try to be nobody in particular. This is quite a turn-on in Sweden so they get very excited when reading about someone's normality. You think I'm joking, don't you? They also boast that they like to do normal, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary things like walking in the countryside, picking berries and gardening. And it is quite true, Swedes love being outdoors and 'at one with nature'. They know the names of all the creepy-crawly insects, which bird has a particular tweet in the mornings and at what time of year a certain flower blooms and when it doesn't. But I bet you they don't know the names of their neighbours.

Do you believe in equality? Forget it, Swedes are more equal than we can possibly be. Wealthy, successful people of which, you will be surprised, there are a few, live in huge mansions in the affluent and stunningly beautiful archipelago of Stockholm. If you ask them, they say they live in a small house somewhere in the suburbs. They dress in tracksuits and sneakers like everyone else and you couldn't tell them apart from your average Sven and Ingrid. Swedish bosses are another group that aspire to being equal. They like their staff to call them by their first names, which is rather cosy. 'Hi there Bengan!' the staff say to the Finance Director. 'How are you doing Maggan?' they ask the Director of Human Resources.

So you think you are organised? Not a chance. Swedes are more organised than you can ever hope to be. They are numerically organised. Go into shop a and you'll be expected to take a queue ticket. There are two numbers on the ticket. One is your number in the queue and the other is how many minutes you may have to wait from the time you took your ticket. This is of course essential information for people who feel the need to do something useful during those 17 minutes. Swedes who have time to spare immediately feel the need to fill it. They rush out of the shop and into another and take yet another queue ticket. Number 89 and a 14-minute wait. Just enough time to make it to the post office. Swedes have a word 'hinna' which means to have enough time to do something. The Swedish concept of personal failure can be expressed with the words 'jag hann inte' - I didn't have enough time to do it.

Swedes have a monopoly on fairness. This means that if you're ever invited to a restaurant then make sure you offer to pay for yourself, just like everybody else. This is a necessity if you want to remain financially solvent. I treated friends to a meal once and then had to take out a bank loan. When the check comes, do what everybody else round the table does. Jot down frenetically on a serviette the cost of what you had to eat and drink and try to add it all up - not an easy task after those four or five glasses you've just had. If you really want to impress your Swedish friends come prepared with a mini calculator and work out everyone's fair share of the bill down to the last krona.

It won't take you long before you notice one or two things about Swedes. The first is that they are not as normal as they would have us believe. But they are very likeable. They are friendly, informal and informative. And that's why they have put together this very inclusive website for you. They are also very generous…which is why they let me tell you a thing or two.

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Colin Moon is an expert communications trainer, who leads seminars in international communication for personnel at all levels. His proven techniques, practical ideas and lively style have brought him success in both the private and public sector and in many fields of industry.

The author alone is responsible for the opinions expressed in this article.

Copyright: This text was published by the Swedish Institute on www.sweden.se. It may be reused on condition that the publisher and source are acknowledged. Any photos or illustrations may not be used in another context.