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Ben Nevis the mountain not the man. |
Blog. april/may 2004
22nd April
I have noticed over the past few months that several members who are coming towards the end of their rookie year put a posting on here to thank people for the experience and to thank all the new and wonderful people they have met on the way.
Poppycock.
My rookie year is almost up, and what's happened ?
I spend so much time on line that my wife thinks I must be conducting a cyber-sex affair with a Swedish Nurse (who likes PVC). My employer thinks I'm moonlighting for a web-design company, and I've put on three stone in weight.
Thanks a bunch VT.
23rd April
I knew they would get me in the end, not only did my boiler announce "Lock out" to me and failed to heat anything, but I also recieved a bolt of electricity as well.
There was me, sat on the couch,quite happily mending the connection on my extension lead, and I forget its plugged in. 240 Volts straigt through me, I couln't let go. None of the namby-pamby American electricity you note - this was real stuff.
My father (on the phone later)decieded I must must be a 'complete plonker', but also argued that a good electric shock also givesthe system a good jolt - I wonder if this is true or an urban myth ?
26th April
Itchy fingers..missed a couple of days.
Today's thoughts are on the subject of meat curry. Having downed a very spicy Vindaloo on Saturday (bog roll in the fridge ready), I came to wondering why it is called a 'meat' vindaloo. Does this mean the 'meat' is of inditerminable provenance ? I have now named the dish a "Wickes curry". Reason ? Have you noticed that in Wickes (a DIY store) they don't have wood along the lines of 'pine' or 'ash or 'oak' etc, It is all termed : 'wood'. I have a theory that it is all grown ina special Wickes forest where trees grow straight and long very quickly.
28th April
I managed to completely embarras myself today - such are the pitfalls of teachings 18 year olds.
One of mys students was doing very well in class today, I complimented her on it and she asked
"and what do I get from you then" as i was thinking about those little smiley faces they put on Children's work in primary schools, I said without thinking "A sticky face". Despite the howls of laughter, my red face and her red face, i'm sure it will just become another anecdote in time.
30th April
May day weekend -I feel so knackered from work this week that I will probably just sleep through it. Nothing interesting in my life has happened, however mundane for 48 hours. What's the point of a blog in these circimstance -a big sorry to any loyal readers.
1st May
It may be the day for the workers of the world to unite, but I had to spend it in the pursit of yet more materialistic good, picking up a couple of bedside cabinets from High Wycombe, The trouble with belonging to Vt is that you are always on the look-out for new material. High Wycombe was useless - what a bland, boring little place to live in. Still, even a dung beetle must find it's meal somewhere - and can;t be too choosy about it.
3rd May
I'm sure Bank holidays were invented to boost the profits of B & Q (Large DIY chain who used to have a slogan 'You can Bang and screw it when you B 7 Q it, but thats another story), I've spent most of the day under the direct supervision of my wife painting the hall and landing. Who said slavery was dead ?
5th May
At last success, in the eternal war of man against matter - brain against brawn : I got to the bottom of my plumbing and boiler woes. And all it cost me was a new spanner.
The system is still about as much use asa chocolate fireguard or a pork pie at a jewish wedding or a condom in a nunnery (has that offended enough groups) but it now dosn't treaten to blow up, and delivers hot water - well, downstairs at least, hurrah. Domestic bliss ensues.