Travel Tips

Here are several notes I know of (either from first or second hands)that were posted in different tourist facilities.

The illustrations are postcards from my own collection. Enjoy and have a good jolly laugh!

In Russia:

- You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

- There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

- If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In Scandinavia:

- We take your bags and send them in all directions. (Copenhagen airline ticket office)

- Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. (Norwegian cocktail lounge)

In Latin America:

- The manager has personally passed all the water served here. (Acapulco, Mexico - restaurant)

In Japan:

- Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

- You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

- Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

- Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

- Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

- When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In Germany:

- Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

- It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In Italy:

- Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. (Rome - dry cleaning)

- Specialist in women and other diseases. (Rome - doctor)

In France:

- Please leave your values at the front desk.

- Dresses for street walking.

- "Your attention please.First. It is absolutely forbidden take the cover and the counterpane to go in the garden for take sun. Secondly, it's absolutely forbid to go out by windows because all curtains are
damaged. Third, you are request take care when you take shower because innondation rot the carpet. But after this instructions, you don't take care, I'll be obliged to take sanctions. The direction". (4-star hotel, South France)

In Greece:

- Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

- Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. In South - East Asia:

- Ladies may have a fit upstairs. (Hong Kong tailor shop)

- Drop your trousers here for best results. (Bangkok dry cleaning)

- Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. (Hong Kong dentist)

- Would you like to ride on your own ass? (Bangkok - ad for donkey rides)

- It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. (Bangkok temple)

In Switzerland:

- Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

- Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

- Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

- Special today -- no ice cream. (in a mountain inn)

In Eastern Europe:

- Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;
roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. (Polish restaurant)

- Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. (Prague - tourist agency)

- Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. (Budapest Zoo)

- To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. (Serbia)

- The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. (Serbia)

- The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. (Romania)