"BEER" Personal Page by Rhondaj

To alcohol, the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.-Homer Simpson

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
- Stephen Wright

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
- Frank Sinatra
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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk in order to spend time with his friends."
- Ernest Hemingway
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
- Henny Youngman
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin,
we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
- Brian O'Rourke
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly so well with pizza."
- Dave Barry
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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
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To some it's a six-pack; to me it's a Support Group.
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One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the "Buffalo
Theory" to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is
hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as
a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only
operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making
the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you
always feel smarter after a few beers."

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