"You know you're from South Jersey when..." by Rhondaj

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident New Jersey
Driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between
you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in
by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have
Of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially with PA, NY or DE plates. With no insurance, the other
operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal
violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to
strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and
are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn't mean that a New York driver flashing his high
beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the
victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. New Jersey is the home
of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of
Transportation, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars in front
of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns
green.

14. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get ahead
of the pack by whatever means necessary.

You know what a WAWA is and know the location of at least 15 of
them.

You have Lyme's Disease.

You've actually found the Echelon Mall

You go to Delaware to buy smokes and alcohol.

You know that Camden is not a good place to be after dark.

You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.

Your car is covered in yellowish-green dust in April and May.

You get excited when you see Chopper 6, and you can hum the
Action News song.

The Franklin Institute was the hot spot for class trips when you
were a kid.

You know what cedar water is.

You say "water" weird.

You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.
creation.

You have packed up the family on a Saturday and went to Cowtown.

You take day trips to New York City.

You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by Law.

You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

You know how to pronounce "Buena" on Route 40.

You've made a meal out of Tastycakes, Herrs BBQ Potato Chips and Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer.

You remember when Rowan was Glassboro State and The College of
NJ was Trenton State.

You know New Years is all about the Mummers.

Down the road, in the middle of no where, is a pizzaria and
a custard stand with a miniature golf course.

One time a seagull pooped all over your head.

You swam in the ocean after the hypodermic needle scare.

You know that it can be 70 degrees in January.

There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.

Isn't NJ great??