"We Are The *Ass* In Assets" by Johnny_CA

I see sappy homepages where people give their entire lifestory....oh, I guess I just did that in my introduction trying to find a place to live...but anyway, I want to change people's perception of us accountants so read on.

My hobbies are sitting with a group of peers and discussing the latest accounting rules or about the latest accounting scandals like Enron and WorldCom, etc. On those very adventurous nights, I sit down with my 10-key (or a big calculator that prints paper with my calculations) and practice and practice until I could do it in my sleep. On weekends, I go shopping....for pocket protectors (you know those clear plastic things you put in your shirt front pocket to protect your shirt from spilled ink from your pens that dangle there?) and some short-sleeved dress shirts, mostly bad colored plaid ones. For travel, I like to attend audit or taxation seminars and I usually only go when there are fascinating speakers or captains of industry leading the conferences. Let me tell you, on those nights that we go out after the seminars, it is absolutely wild! When we are not having Evian, we go for the heavy stuff, yes mineral water. Nothing like mineral water to help you forget your week! When we feel really like a playah, we hit on the girls by pulling out lines like, "hey baby, I've got the entire Financial Accounting Standards memorized. You want to test me??" That line always works for me...now that's my line so don't overuse it!

So before you judge that next accountant at work, at a party or on the metro, think of me and you will have a deeper respect for the accountant.

...before the pimpin' began
The night ended in holiday carols.

i love me some good basketball - ucla basketball. for those not in the know, college basketball features amateur players playing for their universities. i love me some good ballin.

we were at club tryst in the wynn hotel in las vegas. ucla was playing in the vegas bowl. it was a good excuse to go to vegas. i cropped my friends' faces out because they would object to having their pictures on the internet. :)

here i am with kevin love, ucla's freshman center. he's 6'10 and possesses strong fundamental basketball skills that makes him an extraordinary player. after a home game, i lined up like the other ucla fans to get a photo with k. love. as great as he is on the basketball court, he is just as gracious with autographs and photos. he stayed an hour after the game to comply with our fanatic fan requests. he's the best! take us to the promise land k. love!