"Swingers- You're so money & you don't even know it" by Pounder73

No, I am not referring to the practice of a couple mutually being free to explore other couples within the realm of free consensual sex, but rather defined as “individuals who share a proclivity for leisure activity, in the spirit of ‘The Rat Pack’” (i.e Ivan_Jimenez & Co.)” This is showcased in one, if not my all time favorite “guy” movies titled; “SWINGERS”

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Let me set the only rule down straight - right here - right now – and there is only one - this page is for the guys out there - no woman allowed beyond this point! So you ladies, put the mouse down, stand up and back away slowly away from the computer screen. Trespassers will be sited and detained for an undisclosed amount of time for further psychological studies.
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Now that I have that out of the way, let me proceed… We have been blessed with several of our VT fiends, men and women alike, who have taken the time and energy to give us their heeds, warnings and insights on the battles and wars, (well, maybe more like struggles), between the sexes. From the sweetest bad girl, Mirjam ( Mir_26), who with such attitude and flair, gave us the key differences between the genders (read: women are smarter - and more complicated) while giving those weary guys time to back up off. Then we are graced by the presence of Rochelle ( Geisha_Girl ), which has enlightened us with how, no matter who we are as men, we can’t live up to her standards. If that isn’t enough, and I am glad it isn’t, we should be thankful to have the wondering soul of David ( dgeorge10 ), who has described all the women to look out for. (Which, sadly enough, seems to be all the women I have ever dated)

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Now that you feel that we are not worthy and they are all crazy… you should have feelings of slight paranoia and schizophrenia with more questions than you have answers too. I hope to give you lost souls a little help. One of the truisms in life is that the only person you can “control” is yourself. No, no matter how hard you try, you probably won’t be able to fix her, you can’t hope for her to fall for you by giving her flowers and candies… and going around dry-humping every females’ leg you’ll find is not going to help the cause either. So what is a man supposed to do?

First of all see, (or better yet buy), the movie Swingers. This is a must for all guys, especially for those that have ever had their heart broken and/or have helped those that have gone through the wrenching experience. Makes no difference if you have already devoted your life to an “I do” which later becomes “yes dear… that looks great, honey… and can I just take the trash out after the football game?” - you just may be happy that this part of your life may hopefully be over.

At different points in my life, probably like you, I have been and can identify with ALL of the characters; from the “Mikey” - the fall, and eventually rise, of the man who has had his life shattered by the “break up,” to the player “Trent” who will be a true brotha till the end.

These rules were compiled from the actual actors Trent (Vince Vaughn) and Mickey (Jon Faveau) after filming the movie. Go through them, and if you ever wondered, “Why it didn’t work out with her?” then you probably broke one, if not more of these rules.

If you want to find what happens if you follow the rules, visit Johnny ( Johnny_CA )’s page. He's kept it real and followed all the rules with Annika. And it has blossomed into true love I tell ya! Go check him out for yourself!

*Please note: the original Rat Pack was Frank Sinatra & Co.

1) THERE ARE NO RULES – The bottom line is make a genuine contact at all costs. If you connect on a genuine level, you have the ball. Shake it up and have fun. Everyone is bored and sick of the b.s. An honest moment of connection is refreshing.

2) TEAM PLAY – There’s plenty to go around. If you hog the ball, the team loses. Your friends are not your adversaries. Work together and everyone wins. Petty competition makes everyone look bad. Worst of all, you look desperate of bitter. Everyone like fun. Keep it fun. It’s fun to share.

3) LESS IS MORE – People like to fill in the blanks. People also want things to be perfect. Keep your mouth shut and they’ll fill in the blanks perfectly. Don’t try to guess what they are looking for. It’s not about what you say, it’s how you listen.

4) WOMEN AREN’T DUMB – Women are smart. Take this into consideration. They’re good at reading the vibe and are in tune with what’s really going down. They know what’s happening. Don’t manipulate, deny, and condescend. It’s insulting.

5) BE HONEST – Women like attention. It's flattering as long as you're respectful and honest. Formalities are not nearly as important as respecting their intelligence. Be honest with yourself and with them. If you want intimacy, then own up to it. Don't come at them like you're interested in their nail polish if what you really want is intimacy. It's insulting. You're a man, she's a woman. Deal with it. The more you pretend that it's not about sexual attraction, the harder it will be to redefine the parameters. Honesty works like magic if you're free from guilt. The truth shall set you free.

6) IF YOU MUST LIE, KEEP IT SIMPLE - Lying is bad. Forget the ethical issue, it's bad business. It demonstrates a lack of self-confidence. Even if you get away with it, you're going down the wrong road. But if a friend gets in trouble, sometimes a simple lie can be a perfect parachute.

7) SETTING THE TONE - You're a man, so present yourself as one. Confidence and being comfortable with one's self is very attractive. So if you're attracted to a beautiful baby, be both confident and comfortable with that. Don't apologize or qualify how you're feeling. She'll respect you for it.

8) TIMING IS EVERYTHING - There's nothing like a good entrance. You wouldn't want to sit at a table that wasn't set. If you're there too early, you look desperate. Show up late like you're "just stopping by," and you come off like the man about town

9) DEER IN HEADLIGHTS - Everyone wants a mystery. Staring deadpan at a beautiful baby cheats her out of the suspense and courtship she deserves. Keep it intriguing and give her the gift of a challenge.

10) THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE - The strongest will survive. Don't waste your time filling your head with self-doubt. The competition's fierce, so always give yourself the edge. A sense of self-respect makes all the difference in the world. You can be the king of the Jungle or just another hyena cowering at the water hole. It's all up to you.

11) BE A BAD MAN - Don't hide the fact that you like sex. That doesn't mean act like the fourteen year old on the back of the bus who's constantly pulling on himself and making obscene noises. It just means own your sexuality and don't apologize for it.

12) THE WAITING GAME - a man with a slow hand. The ladies love foreplay, and that's exactly why you wait a few days before you call. No reason to rush it. Let her savor the wait. She'll thank you later

13) GRACE UNDER PRESSURE - Our generation is the first to be presented with the challenge of the answering machine. A good message can put you on the fast track to paradise; a bad one can lead to public ridicule and endless playbacks to the delight of family and friends. The stakes are high. This is no joke. The golden rule is keep it simple. Don't try to over explain who you are or how you're feeling. It's a moment frozen in amber. It's a small piece of your soul. Give her a taste--the little pink spoon, not the whole sundae.

14) SKIP THE BIRDSEED – Sometimes it just happens. Let it. Don't let stupid rules from a book get in the way. If you're lucky enough to have things unfold organically, don't ruin it. You're money.

15) TRUST YOURSELF - You're always better off trusting yourself and playing your game. You wouldn't ask Stockton to bang the boards for rebounds and you wouldn't want Shaq trying to drain threes. Stick with what feels right. That way, even if you fail, you've learned something. Trust your instincts and think for yourself.

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Swinger Testis…by the better half of VT

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Testimonials that is... you sick puppy.

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I like your swinger philosophy, and I like that you're passing it along to make humankind a better lot. Good for you, darling!
Chauncenetta

Ooooh behave! I am honored to be a swinger! Thanx for all the wise words babe = )
mir_26

Hmm let's see *hot steel* in one hand, and *buns of steel* in the other hand....Holy sh** What more can a Geisha Swinger want?
Geisha_Girl

Ooops! I trespassed and thoroughly enjoyed the read. Cool page!
Syllybabe

Hahaha i liked your swingers travelogue very much! =)
Sof76

Funny but candid travelogues :-))
Black_I_Purl

Sorry for trespassing, but we girls need all the insight we can get into the strategies & subterfuge of the opposing team...
Canadian_girl

I have been a bad girl....
TravelZoeGirl

I read your theories about being money n so on, like a good girl =) but I think its really clever.
morganna

Oh..I'm trespassing but that's really a clever and funny thing you had there.;-)
yen_2