Travel Tips

Hello! I have translated a menu from English into Mandarin complete with simplified Confucian romanization to assist you in China.
*
Rice = "Me Fawn"
Corn = "You Me"
Fish Head = "You Toe!"
Fish Skin = "You Pee!"
Pork = "Jew Row"
Pig's Ears = "Jew 'R' Dwoe"
Peking Duck = "Cow Yaw"
Sea Cucumber = "High Shun"
Steak = "No Pie"
Spareribs = "Pie Goo"
Mushrooms = "Mo' Goo"
Carrots = "Who Lobo?"
Potato = "Two Doe"
Vegetables = "Shoe Sigh"
French Fries = "Shoe T'yao"
Salt = "Yen"
Ants Climbing Trees = "Ma 'E' Shawng Shoe"
Egg = 'G' Dawn
Grapes = Pooh Tao"
Cheese = "Gone Lao"
Yogurt = "Swan Nigh"
Double Skin Milk = "Shwang Pee Nigh"
Popsicle = "Bing Gooner"
Ice Cream = "Bing Chee Lean"
Jasmine Tea = "Moly Whaw Chaw!"
Beer = "Pee Joe"
Pepsi Cola = "Buy Shirt Colla' "

Cantonese is useful when visiting Hong Kong and Guangzhou. If you try to use Cantonese with the local people, then you will be treated to more smiles and cheaper prices. My easy lesson once again uses English words to facilitate fluent Chinese pronunciation:

Hello! = "Nay ho!"
Good morning! = "Joe sawn!"
Taxi! = "Dick see!"
I'm getting off the bus (or subway) now! = "Loke chay!" (nudge nudge)
How much does this cost? = "Gay doe cheen?"
This is delicious! = "Ho Ho sick!" (For beverages say "ho yum")
Let's eat! = "Sick fawn!"
steamed rice = "bock fawn"
fried rice = "chow fawn"
We don't have any = "Mo" (Often used by shopkeepers and the 3 Stooges)
You're crazy! = "Cheeee sing!"
No problem! = "Mo mun tie"
Foreign devil = "Say gwigh low" (Point at your nose when using this word)
Check, please! = "My dawn!"
Cantonese is very difficult to speak = "Gwong doe'ng wa hoe naan gong"

You know that's not right, don't you? = Nay yawmo GOW choe waaah!*
(emphasis on the GOW, which rhymes with "cow")

* Use this phrase liberally in almost any situation with anybody that you encounter. Add a "cheeee sing" immediately afterwards for added effect (guaranteed uncontrollable laughter from all Cantonese speaking folks in your vicinity) "Nay yawmo GOW choe waaah; ... cheeee sing!"