"Mexican Weddings" by alfredop

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Bride and Groom

My friends' weddings!

Well... I'm 28 at the moment. In Queretaro, my home town it is normal for a guy to get married at an average age of 26 to 29 years old. A girl will commit suicide between 22 and 27. I don't have any plans in the immediate future but most of my friends are already undergoing that "terrible" stage!

At larger cities such as Mexico City, because of the faster way of living, distances, responsibilities, stress, etc. it is normal for a guy to marry between 29 or 34. A girl will take the step between 27 and 32. This is just a reference age, it doesn't mean it will be a rule!

Here are some of the most recent weddings of my friends.

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Bride and Groom

If you are a frequent visitor to Mexico and have been invited to a traditional wedding here, you probably have wondered about the whats and whys of many of the customs. Because the vast majority of Mexicans are Catholic, most of these traditions are derived from Catholic ceremonies that have been colorfully spiced with superstition. Although weddings that take place in isolated socio-cultural regions still may follow other ancestral traditions, we discuss weddings within the popular modern Mexican social structure.

Beginning with preparations for the big event, Mexicans share the superstition that the groom never should see the bride’s dress before the ceremony. It’s bad luck! Furthermore, a Mexican bride should not wear pearls because they represent future teardrops and grief in the marriage. For good luck, the bride’s ensemble should include something old, something used and something received as a gift (similar to something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue). Wearing her mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress is a status symbol for the bride, a sign of respect for family lineage and tradition, manners and form. To ensure food, money and passion in their marriage, the bride sews a yellow, a blue and a red ribbon, respectively, onto her lingerie. Furthermore, tradition holds that the groom always should arrive at the church before the bride and wait for her at the altar.

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Friends

The order of events–first a church ceremony, then a party, followed by a short legal ceremony with a judge, which in modern times usually takes place at the party–always is followed. The election of padrinos (Godparents) is a crucial issue both for the religious ceremony and for the party afterwards. The major padrinos are chosen because of their exemplary marriage and ability to offer advice and guidance that will help with the conflicts that occur in all unions. Padrinos also should be economically stable, since the position implies not only a moral, but also a material involvement in modern Mexican marriages. The padrinos usually provide a substantial gift for the newlyweds, the banquet or music for instance, a responsibility frequently shared with the parents of the bride and groom.

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Friends

Minor godparents also may be needed, depending on the couple’s financial situation. Padrinos de anillos provide the wedding rings, which can be very pricey. Padrinos de arras provide gold coins symbolizing the assurance of economic stability for the new family. Padrinos de lazo (usually a married couple or fiancées) wrap a silken cord around the newlyweds as a symbol of unity, devotion and commitment. As you can see, being chosen as a padrino can be quite expensive but this is usually common at lower social groups. Economically stable couples will only name their padrinos but they'll afford everything.

Just as in the States, when the couple leaves the church they are showered with rice to wish them prosperity (although some churches have prohibited this practice due to the extra cleaning it requires).

Then it’s time for the party, which usually is held in a garden or ballroom. However, the party does not start until the newlyweds arrive amidst a cascade of applause.

The couple then proceeds to sit at the mesa de honor with their padrinos, their parents and, if there is room, the grandparents and little pages. The five- to seven-layer cake is then ceremoniously cut, frequently with a sword. This is the last time the bride and groom will be the focus of attention. After a short speech given by the father of the bride or the padrinos, the orchestra plays a waltz to which the groom and bride dance in preface to the money dance.

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Friends

They start the dancing with a romantic tune, which is immediately followed with some hot salsa or other popular music as everyone joins the fun. Now, the party has really started!

On lower social groups, during the money dance, in descending order of kinship, relatives take turns waltzing with the bride or groom (depending on gender) while pinning money on their clothes. According to some, the money dance is derivedfrom France, but rural Spain also has had a lot of influence on Mexican wedding traditions. Some Mexican weddings include the aguinaldo (“a bonus”), in which the groom’s tie and the bride’s garter (which her husband has removed with his teeth) are cut into tiny bits and auctioned off.

The groom then is picked up and tossed in the air like a pancake.

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Friends

At this point, attendees are enjoying cocktails and growing hungry, but dinner will not be served until another classic ritual is completed. Unmarried women gather in line around the bride, who is standing on a chair while the groom forms an arch by her veil or the train of her dress. A cheery children’s game tune (“a la víbora, víbora de la mar, por aquí han de pasar…”) marks the pace as the maidens traipse along holding onto each others’ waists. When the music stops, the bride throws her bouquet over her shoulder, and the lucky one who catches it supposedly will be the next joyful bride. Bachelors do the same around the groom, who throws the apron. Whichever man traps it in the air supposedly will be the next hen-pecked husband.

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Mariachi

For closing the party it is usual for a group of mariachis to arrive around 5AM and play for an hour or to while the waiters serve some chilaquiles (tortilla with chili) or something else that should be hot to awake the drunk people just before they go home!