"The Hovering Lamp Above the Ala Wai Story" Personal Page by Seabiscuit

Hokay, feature this, campers.... I lived in a Condominium on the 42nd floor of a building high above the Ala Wai Road in Honolulu, Hawaii. It was a treat to live there, but a bit gusty to boot. (The winds were abysmal!) If the sliding door (on the north) was open, the entry door (on the south) was impossible to open. Nevertheless, we had a lamp (invented in HELL) that lived on a table next to the north door. One day, on a whim, we decided to play a little game of tossing toilet tissue yonder on passing cars (what can I say, we were bored), and proceeded to launch wet wads of ick onto passersby below. Big mistake.
Here comes the lamp part....

Whilst tossing wet wads of TP out over the road, my roommate decides to answer the door (as he had ordered a pizza, and it arrived). With a foot against the door jamb, and a HUGE tug, he managed to get the front door open (big mistake #2). The lamp (which put the "UG" in ugly) lifted off its' perch, and was literally hovering in the living room, tethered by the plug still in the wall (it was *really* something to see!) Well, the plug gave way, and due to the size of the lampshade, was like a derigible floating out the sliding doors. Yes, I made an attempt to grab the cord, but to no avail. With a *minor* "whooshing" sound, it missed my head by about 5" and took off over the railing. Talk about 'aerodynamic', we watched its' decent towards Ala Wai Road (and it really did take its' time crashing to Earth). To wit: a passing Police car happened to be its' intended target. It hit the car (of all flipping cars, it *had* to be a Police car, stopped at a light). With lights-a-flashing, the Policeman decides to find out from whence this object came.

Police decide to do an investigation... door-to-door. We abandoned the pizza.... and went to the movies. Yes, we were spared the humilitation, but I spent the next 2 weeks trying to find another ugly lamp to replace it, and 'super-glued' it to the table....