Travel Tips

1. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in
an airplane crash.

2. You use the phrase "fixin' to" almost daily.

3. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

4. You've ever been excused from school because "the cows got out."

5. You can properly pronounce the town Mexia and Mesquite.*

6. You can remember the name of the last state legislator to introduce
a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.

7. You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.

8. You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier than you can remember your mother's birthday.

9. You think that people who complain about the hurricanes in their states are sissies.

10. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined
by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.

11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

12. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other
one go first.

13. When you hear a tornado siren, you go out and look for a funnel.

14. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

15. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

16. A Jaguar is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

17. You know that everything goes better with Ranch or Tabasco.

18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

19. You know that "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

20. You are 100% Texan if you have ever had this conversation: "You
wanna Coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

Prayers are said for the well being of the Dallas Cowboys.

The call to worship is, "ya'll come on in."

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." And 5 guys stand up.

The restrooms are outside.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

The pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

Church activities are planned not to conflict with a Cowboys game.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get sunburn through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

No one would dream of not having air conditioning.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

You hear a Texan saying: "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it, but for my 7-year old."