"Off the Beaten Path..." a Greece Travel Page by Jim35

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... and into an ancient hole

<b>Okay, I'll tell ya, but you've got to promise not to laugh!</b>

See this hole in the ground? It is a tomb. It's out in the middle of an orange grove in the middle of nowhere. It looks about as wide as it is. If you stretch out your arms you can touch each side of the doorway at the same time. And it's deep enough that you can walk through the door without ducking. Keep that in mind...

Okay, so it's a <i>narrow, deep</i> tomb and I followed some signs to get to it. I had rented a car for the sole purpose of finding out of the way places such as this... I saw some signs on the side of the road indicating an ancient tomb and I thought "What the Heck?", so I kept following the signs. The roads kept getting narrower and narrower but I kept following the signs until I was driving down a tiny little road and then up a small hill.

Unfortunately, I came over the hill a bit to fast and drove the car right into this hole...
That's it, end of the road. The car that was rented yesterday and built last year is now in a hole leading to a tomb that was built 2500 years ago and noticed two seconds too late...

<i><b>I thought I said, 'No Laughing!'</b></i>

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Now What?

So, of course, being the level-headed, ready for anything world-traveler that I am; I did what all my experience and instinct prepared me for. <u>I panicked!</U>
But being in a small, lightweight, compact, front wheel drive car that is stuck nose first down a 45 degree incline, panicking is probably the last thing you want to do... since all that slamming the car into reverse and stomping on the gas tends to accomplish is to destroy what little traction there was in the first place...

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Breathe...

<b> Be Calm ...</b>

Okay, lets take a calm moment to figure this out:
1) You're car is stuck in a hole. 2) The hole happens to be a 2500 year old tomb that the Greek government would probably be pissed that you're in. 3) You're alone in the middle of nowhere. 4) Even if it was somewhere, you know no one and don't speak the language...
Okay, it's all pretty bad, but it could be worse. You could be <B>FREAKIN' PANICKING!</b>

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hope for help?

"Wait!" I thought, "Didn't I see some farmers in the orange grove as I drove past? Weren't they on a tractor, spraying the oranges? Maybe they could pull my car out of the tomb!"

Full of both hope and fear I ran up the road to see if the orange farmers were still around. They were still spraying the groves, about a mile away, but moving slowly enough that I could catch up on foot.

I spoke no Greek but did my best to convey my plight with elaborate hand gestures, panicked eyeball rolling, and by making loud driving noises with my mouth.

Luckily, they spoke English.

Well, at least one of them did. And while he translated for the others they stared at me in shocked disbelief, laughed until tears rolled down their faces, and discussed, in Greek, my obvious lack of intelligence, common-sense or matching socks.

When all the back-slapping and good-natured ribbing had died down, they agreed to help me but since there was a trailer full of chemicals attached to the tractor and they couldn't turn around on the narrow road, they would come back for me in about an hour, after their spraying run.

Well, not being one to just sit around and wait, I marched back to the car to see what I could do to help the proccess along...

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... building it old school

So I returned to the car in the hole. While walking back I noticed a large pile of stones that had been removed from the orchards. Many of them were flat, much like the stones that were in the walls of the tomb, which gave me the idea to build a stone ramp to give the tires some traction.

This was hard work, but I started getting the feeling that I was building just as the ancients must have built this tomb. I felt somehow part of the past and a kinship for people long gone...

This was ruined by the embarrasment of having tourists come up over the hill expecting to see the ancient tomb and instead see me, with my car, down in the hole.

One American kid, there with his parents, just stood there with his mouth hanging open... He couldn't believe what he was seeing. I could hear his future school report: "My parents made me go on vacation with them and it was lame except for we went to this Greece place and there was this guy who <i>drove his car into this big ancient hole and stuff</i>! What a total NARD!" and I could hear the mocking laughter of 40 or so 5th graders, which is no picnic, believe me!

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the moral of the story.

So after long hours of building the ramp and inching the car up it backwards by use of ramp, rocks and emergency brake, I had moved about 7 feet. Not good.

I had just about given up when around the corner comes the tractor and the orange farmers I had talked to earlier. With the help of the tractor and a strong cable the car was out of the hole very quickly with no damage, which is my cue to start with chanting <i>Thank God - ehfkhahreesto - thank you - ehfkhareesto pollee - how can I thank you - you rock! - thank you</i> ... well you get the picture, I was rather relieved and thankful to have the car safely out of the hole.

The farmers were very gracious and refused any offer of payment I made (they had, after all, saved my ass) and <I>then, on top of all the help they had given me</i> came around to the passenger side of the car and, through the open window, filled the empty seat with oranges... a lot of them. Can you imagine?

This is why I say with maximum conviction that the Greeks are wonderful, friendly, great, helpful and awesome people! <b>I love Greece and it's people!</b>

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Are you laughing WITH me or AT me?

.... I thought so... [sigh]