"Gratefully pinched..." Sheffield Warnings Or Dangers Tip by caprice4u2

Sheffield Warnings and Dangers: 11 reviews and 10 photos

 
 

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Gratefully pinched From the Stanley Holloway record
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There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
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<BR>that's noted for fresh air and fun
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<BR>And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom went there with young Albert, their son.
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<BR>A fine little lad were young Albert, all dressed in his best, quite a swell.
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<BR>He'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle, the finest that Woolworth's could sell.
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<BR>They didn't think much to the ocean, the waves they were piddlin' and small.
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<BR>There were no wrecks and nobody drownded, fact, nothin' to laugh at all!
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<BR>So, seeking for further amusement they paid, and went into the zoo,
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<BR>Where they'd lions and tigers and camels and cold ale and sandwiches, too.
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<BR>There were one great big lion called Wallace whose nose was all covered with scars;
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<BR>He lay in a som-no-lent posture with the side of 'is face on the bars.
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<BR>Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions- 'Ow they was ferocious and wild;
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<BR>To see lion lyin' so peaceful just didn't seem right to the child.
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<BR>So straightway the brave little feller, not showin' a morsel of fear,
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<BR>Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle and stuck it in Wallace's ear.
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<BR>You could see that the lion didn't like it, for givin' a kind of a roll,
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<BR>'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im and swallered the little lad - 'ole!
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<BR>Now Mother 'ad seen this occurrence and not knowin' what to do next,
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She 'ollered 'Yon lion's et Albert!' An' Father said 'Ee, I am vexed.'
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<BR>They complained to an animal keeper who said 'My, wot a nasty mis'ap;
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<BR>Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?' Pa said, 'Am I sure? There's 'is cap!'
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<BR>The manager 'ad to be sent for; 'E came and 'e said 'Wot's to-do?'
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<BR>Ma said 'Yon lion's et Albert, and 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!'
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<BR>Father said 'Right's right, young feller, I think it's a shame and a sin
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<BR>To 'ave our son et by a lion and after we paid to come in.'
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<BR>The manager wanted no trouble, he took out his purse right away,
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<BR>Sayin' ''Ow much to settle the matter?' Pa said 'Wot do you usually pay?'
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<BR>But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward when she saw where 'er Albert 'ad gone.
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<BR>She said 'No, someone's got to be summonsed!' So that was decided upon.
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<BR>And off they all went to p'lice station in front of a Magistrate chap;
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<BR>They told what 'ad 'appened to Albert and proved it by showing 'is cap.
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<BR>The Magistrate gave 'is opinion that no one was really to blame,
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<BR>And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms would 'ave further sons to their name.
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<BR>At that Mother got proper blazin' 'And thank you, sir, kindly,' said she-
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<BR>'Wot, spend all our lives raisin' children to feed ruddy lions? Not me!'</centre>

Review Helpfulness: 1.5 out of 5 stars

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  • Written Aug 25, 2002
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caprice4u2

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