"nikki beach: what a rip off, what a mess" Miami Beach Tourist Trap Tip by nfacchi
Miami Beach Tourist Traps: 30 reviews and 18 photos
ok, so i was staying at the shore club on march 14. and on march 16 the concierge told me "nikki beach IS the place to be on sunday" i read a few reviews on websites like southbeach411 ect saying "must go, must see, great party" well let me give it to you straight:
apparently,you should arrive on sunday around 2 pm, thats when the party starts getting hot. they describe it as a saint tropez in miami, but i have been to la voile rouge and niou largo in saint tropez and well, nikki beach aint no saint tropez... is more like cancun or tijuana. seriously!
this is what it looks like: you arrive, the place is massive *(that should have been my first hint!) i told them that my friend and i had booked a mattress for the day (i knew it was 300 dollars minimum for bottle service, which was fine) we arrived at the mattress and ordered a bottle of moet, a bottle of orange juice and a bottle of water) then they said they have a buffet and that it was 35 bucks each we said thats fine. they gave us something to put on the wrist so they could identify who was eating. the buffet was below average.
now here is the worst part: it wasnt until we were there about 1 1/2 hours later that we started noticing all these er, how should i say: girls of unknown provenance (aka, cheap, loud, rude, and probably working) girls all over the mattresses. i am talking about girls showing up with towels that were 10 years old, and one glass of wine, sharing the beds next to us, while we had forked over all and all over 600 bucks.
i said to the fat manager (who was totally rude) and asked him if they were so strict about the 300 dollar bottle minimum why were all these people next to us that were obviously spending about 10 bucks each. his answer: "everyone on the beds is paying"
i called the party promoter who booked my mattress and he came to see me and guess what he said? i swear i wanted to puke:
he said "i m sorry but this is a public beach and we cannot deny access to people so what we do is that we rent the mattresses where you are for 300 and rent the inside mattresses (i couldnt see a difference between theirs and ours) for 20 bucks a person. thats it. 20 bucks for them, 300 for us.
the atmosphere of the place just went down hill, loud, rude, even dirty looking people just laying 10 to a bed and "sharing one glass or two of wine" we left and poured the rest of our champagne on the floor. we werent going to leave it for them to reuse.
this place sells itself as upper class, but its far from that.
Unique Suggestions: even the waiter told us he was sorry and that he wishes the place wouldnt let so many "strays" walk in because he gets no tips from those 20 a bed no drink minimum crowd. i told him i would never go back to nikki beach and he said he didnt blame me, that in fact, things get pretty nasty at around 6 when "the working gals" start showing up
if you must go, dont eat, dont get a bed, just pay your 20 bucks and drink a glass of something. trust me, people cant tell a difference from the 300 or the 20 they are all piled next to each other.
if i were you, skip that place all together...