I often hear from people visiting from the US and UK that service at restaurants in Amsterdam is really poor. Having lived in the US I agree that set against the expectations of an American customer service in the Netherlands simply, well, sucks.
Service in restaurants in the US is judge by how attentive and fast the waiters are. You expect basically minimal wait time, whether it's for your menu, food, refilling of your drinks and your bill.
Put simply, the Netherlands work on a custom that is the complete opposite.
People go to the restaurants, especially the nicer ones, in Amsterdam not to eat. They are there to 'go out'. It is very common to have 2-3 hour dinner, and if you get a table at a cafe in the afternoon it is pretty much yours for the rest of the day.
You need to pretty much call the waiter when you need something, whether it's the menu, another refill of your drink, when you are ready to order, and also when you are ready to pay. Also understand that the ratio of waiters to table is noticeably smaller to that in the US.
Once you understand this difference in custom, and are prepared for it, I'm hoping your dining experience will be much more enjoyable.
Oftentimes I had to be somewhere and thus had little time to spare for dinner. I would tell my waiter this as I was seated, and he will bring me the bill with the meal; so if you're in the same situation just do that, they were always willing to help to speed things up.
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