Bristol Restaurant Tips by TheLongTone Top 5 Page for this destination

A Costas coffee shop: Unecessary and unwanted.

The Gloucester Road, as noted elsewhere, is a fabulous streetfull of shops. Butchers, bakers and candlestick makers: purveyors of things you would never buy for yourself but make excellent presents (mostly tasteful and imaginative), a good selection of charity shops, and all the cafes you could shake a spoon at . All human life is here, and chainstores are scarce.

Since I'm not generally in the market for a coffee so close to home, I rarely patronise any of these (so no tips...yet, but all the ones I have used are good: they have to be or they go bust.) It's competitive, and the last thing the place needed was a representative of one of the ghastly chains of American-style 'coffee' shops. When it was announced that some stupid businessman with a complete lack of imagination and no understanding of the locale had applied to the council for planning permisson to open a Costas, my heart sank. For fear of the libel laws I will not say that the council is a hotbed of cronyism in this mason-ridden city: all I will say is that when I went into one of the cafes to sign the petition against it , I was told there was no petition....the request had not been granted. YESSSSSSS!

I was so surprised I had to buy a coffee and sit down. Black, absolutely right but the roast wasn't to my taste: I like a dark roast Italian. A full selection of papers to read, so I got to read an excellent obit of the guitarist from the Miracles and have a belly laugh at Steve Bell. Place next to the shop selling decorative toys for the under-threes, on the right going up from the Arches and before the corner with the (now closed) 'The Hobgoblin' pub on it.

The above was written in late October. Early December, the effing Costas opens. Without permission. The slimeball who own the franchise owns another in Bristol: also illegal. One wonder what the sneck the laws are for . Propping up the tottering system, that's what: somebody who was taking a photo of the place got rummaged by the feds who were watching over the place.

People are voting with their feet, and I hope that the loathsome owner drops a packet on it.

The star rating is for toothless planning laws as well as all chain coffee shops.
One the one side, Pembury Cycles. On the other, Tart! (cafe selling excellent cakes and pastries) . Just down the road from Cafe Blue and Lagoon. More or less opposite Zulu. A roaring trade it is doing, not.

Favorite Dish: Hopefully humble pie for the owner

Address: Bottom of Gloucester Road.

Comparison: more expensive than average

Directions: Between Pembury Cycles and Tart! (Cafe with excellnt cakes). Opposite Zulu (cafe specialising in odd meats). Just down from Blue Lagoon (cafe/bar).

Make like Dionne Warwick, and walk on by. Better, cheaper coffee is within spitting distance.

Rating: 1

Theme: American

The Bristolian: Bacon,sausage ad egg no more....

The Bristolian closed at the end of 2011. Sic transit gloria mundi. Victim ofthe Collape of the West. I'm not scrubbing the tip as a tribute to the place and to Cath, the owner and usually the fryer of your egg.

I am very fond of the Bristolian. It's not a greasy spoon, it's a Bristol Cafe, with a good ambience as well as good food. Tretchikoffs on the wall, an eclectic choice of music on the stereo, a sunburst clock on the wall forever stopped at ten to three (and is there honey still for tea?) and a good selection of reading matter, including the complete works of Joseph Conrad. I have to say that the service is ofen very slow (it's a Bristol Cafe, just chill It takes time because they're cooking it for you) but not by any means long enough to read The Secret Agent, let alone Nostromo.

The choice is fairly limited but all good: there's generally a special of the day, staples such as bacon sandwiches, very good mackerel pate with salad (omega 3 oils and vegetables) smoked salmon and scrambled eggs or the house speciality, the Bristolian breakfast: bacon, sausage, egg, beans, mushrooms tomato and sauteed potatoes. Available in small or large, which doubles up the sausages and bacon. Really there is no higher praise of a cafe than to say 'I'd eat the sausages'. And if you're a vegetarian (like both my boys) you can get a veggie version.

Favorite Dish: Well, I'm only small, and not really a Bristolian, so I go for the small Bristolian. An all-day breakfast that will keep you going all day.

Address: Top of Picton Street, just off Ashley Road

Comparison: about average

Directions: In the heart of Montpelierrrr

Price: US$11-20

Rating: 5

Theme: Diner

Pieminister: Everybody knows pies are round

Pieminster pies are another Bristol institution. The epicentre of the pie activity is their restaurant in Stokes Croft, but the pies are available for home consumption at various places and they have a small diner in the arcade of St Nicholas's market. As well as the piemobile which does the festival circuit.

A small but perfectly formed selection of pies, ranging from the traditional steak and kidney to such esoterica as a Thai green curry pie, served with mash, gravy and minted mushy peas. All using locally sourced and ethically produced ingredients.

This is a lunch stop: they close aroud seven in the evening.

Favorite Dish: Pies aren't the only option. You could have a sausage roll. But I'll go for the simple steak and kidney usually, mash and gravy, and I'll pass on the peas. But I'm sure they're good. That'll set you back £5.50.

Only cavil is the cutlery for takeaways. In line with the organic meat and local produce ethos, they provide wooden disposable cutlery: the heat and moisture of your pie will make them wilt until they are inapable of tackling the crust of youur pie.

'What did you learn in school today, son?'

'I learnt that pi R squared'

'It's bread that's square........

Address: 24 Stokes Croft

Comparison: less expensive than average

Price: US$11-20

Rating: 4

Theme: Local

Website: http://www.pieminister.co.uk

Brunel's buttery: Who ate all the pies?

Brunel's Buttery is situated by the waterside of the floating harbour, about 400 metres along the quay from the Princes St. swing bridge. It's just a shed serving snacks with outside seating, but they don't rely on the pleasant surroundings to bring in the trade. Excellent bacon sandwiches, vast slices of cake and home-made pies that actually contain meat rather than the all too common toxic sludge. A great place, weather permitting, and it's popularity can result in fairly epic queues.

Favorite Dish: A pie for me, if there are any left. Now that the boys are no longer vegetarians, they'll do a bacon sandwich. With chips.

Comparison: less expensive than average

Directions: Past the cranes, following therailway tracks...

Price: less than US$10

Rating: 5

Theme: Other

Rocco's: Pizza made by Italians!

Rocco's is a small family run resataurant. Nothing fancy but all good solid home cooking, served by friendly staff. Nothing over the top: they just genuinely want you to enjoy your dinner. I've only ever sat down and ate there a couple of times, more generally i'm in there because the do by far the best take-away pizzas in the area (and there are a lot of pizza places within an olive-stone's throw: the fact taht they do a good trade in takeaways even though theirs are a couple of pounds more than most of the competition attests to their quality)
Another witness to their quality is the fact that they are usually pretty busy. There are only a dozen tables, so booking cn be advisable at the weekend.

Favorite Dish: I'm not a one for pasta in creamy sauces, but otherwise I'd be prepared to eat my way though the menu. Just don't ask for a filled-crust turkey, jalapeno pepper and whatever pizza. They are Italians, and would regard such things as mad.

Comparison: less expensive than average

Directions: Right at the bottom of the Gloucester Road, next to Sainsbury's

Price: US$21-30

Rating: 5

Theme: Italian

One Stop Thali Cafe: The choice is theirs

This is a restaurant claiming to get it's inspiration from the street food of India, and I havn't come across anywhere quite like it. It's like a typical new bristol cafe, (casual atmosphere and an assortment of retro furniture) with a suitably garish fuscia and cerulean blue paint scheme and is a paradise for those who dither over menus only to find that what the people at the next table are eating looks much better. Because all there is on offer here is the thali of the day: a compartmented plate loaded with pillau rice, a dhall of some description, a couple of vegetarian curries and some raita. Your only choice is whether you want pickles and chapattis or poppadoms with it, and what to drink. But basically you eat what's put in front of you. And very good it is too.

Favorite Dish: Actually I've never eaten here, I simply use their novel takaway service. Expensive the first time, since you need to buy an Indian tiffin-carrier for £20 (including food inside). After that you take your tiffin carrier along and they'll fill it for £6. Good deal, Lucille.

Sunday night is music night, with some kind of live entertainment and all thalis a knockdown £5.

Open Tuesdays-Sundays 6pm-11pm.

Address: 12 York Road Montpelier

Comparison: less expensive than average

Directions: End of Picton Street, near Herberts.

Phone: 0117 9426687

Price: US$11-20

Rating: 4

Theme: Eclectic/International

Website: http://www.onestopthali.co.uk