San Francisco Tourist Trap Tips by centerofgravity

Well, there actually are fishermen there first thing in the morning, so if you wake up very early it might be nice to walk along the water. If you wake up late be prepared for hoards of tourists and window shopping for "escape from alcatraz" t-shirts.
During crab season (winter), us locals do pick up crab down at fisherman's wharf, and I highly recommend that!

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At Least Do This: Two very amazing things are at Fisherman's Wharf:
1. The Maritime Museum/Hyde St. Pier. They occaisionally have night time sea chantie sing-a-longs that are amazing.
http://www.nps.gov/safr/

2. The Musee Mechanique. My favorite museum ever! They feature antique arcade games including forturne tellers and photobooths. It is very romantic.
http://www.museemechanique.org/

I see many tourists pull up in taxis or rental cars, hop out, snap a few photos of the crooked street, and leave. There are actually steeper, more crooked streets in San Francisco, but what makes Lombard Street amazing is the neighborhood. It is a historical gem with hidden staircases, cafes, and beautiful views. The hills in this particular part of town are killer, so wear decent walking shoes, and explore a little bit.

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At Least Do This: My favorite view of Alcatraz is from the corner of Hyde and Chestnut Streets, just one block over from the top of Lombard Street. If you head down Chestnut Street one block, you will stumble upon the San Francisco Art Institute. All the way in the back is a cafe that serves really affordable meals and freshly baked pastries, and a view that overlooks the whole city. Even though I live here, I love walking down Lombard Street and stopping by SFAI. It offers amazing views, and even has a peaceful roof to sunbathe on. It is not open on weekends though, so plan accordingly.