Buying Hash, Kif and other Fes, Morocco Tourist Trap Tips

Apparently, the dealers keep close enough ties with the cops to reel you in - A Fassi version of "Catch and Release" where you lose a chunk of change.

The Gnawa are safe people to smoke with as hash is a sort of currency with them. Their music sounds better that way, too. Smoke your chocolate, if you feel safe enough where you are - but don't push it by carrying a chunk of it around.

Kif is cheaper, easier to find - and folks literally smoke this in the street without too much fear. Still, heads up, smokey.

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You may be pretty good at kicking someone when they're down - but are you so good as to know when they aren't actually down and are getting paid to be kicked (slowly, from your own account)?

Still thinking about that? Then you may be too dopey to surf the Riad Boom.

No matter what the hype: Riad shopping takes some actual working brains, patience and most of all - love. You'd better love that place or you are seriously wasting your money and your time. You would do better to stick that money in a trust, dawg. The real success stories of the riad boom in Fes are those who have given something of their hearts to this beautiful city. (Thank you, guys...t'barak Allah alikoom)

Talk to the vets of restoration in Fes for a sober view - google David Amster then give him a buzz before shopping. He is a deity of sorts on this subject and a good chap.

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Check out more tourist traps here...

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Don't exactly where this tip should go -

Just make sure the taxi driver clicks on the meter. Fes taxis are usually very good about it. If you forget, and the cat doesn't switch it on...you will be negotiating the ride afterward, which can be a drag.

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At Least Do This: If you get totally stuck - know that most rides are going to only be between 5-15 DH in Fes. 15-20 max for something like the medina to Narjees.

Have you noticed the differences in the culture? Is it making you sick?

May I offer the suggestion that 'you' are making 'you' sick?

You feel it when you see some abjectly poor toothless guy pooing in the street near a bound and whip-scarred donkey who is making his own bed of poo while several petrol sniffing homeless children are trying to get a few dirhams from you by beg-shouting several languages to you...

Hold on! Let me tell you what I do: I personally set myself to remembering the story of "The Goldenish Monkey and his Eskimo Friend, Blind Goop"... it is a funny and adventure filled story; sometimes sad, sometimes rich with hope - For sure, it takes my mind off all that poverty business.

Hope that helps.

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Alternative: When poverty screams in your face to respond, don't hear a shrill sound! Pretend you are hearing orgasmic moaning. That way, when confronted with human misery, you will think of something pleasurable instead.