"Coburg History Simplified..." a Coburg Travel Page by flyingscot4

OK. It all started something like this...

Back in the old days (when I still had hair), the duke and dukette of this wealthy town were in love. They were really in love. They did some really serious begettin' and begattin' and they did it all the time. Well, pretty soon they had a whole bunch of little begets and begats running around the old schloss and making it really tough on the nannies and other workers. So the laundryworkers union decided to go on strike because of all the dirty nappys they had to wash and dry and iron (royalty, you know). So, anyway, the duke decided to make a deal with the union because he couldn't have is wife, the dukette, down at the river washing nappys with the common folk. The deal was pretty shrewd. He promised that he would marry off his daughters as soon as he could after they were not in nappys if the nappy cleaners would go back to work. That made the union happy and everything returned to normal with the duke and dukette still doing their thing.

Well, the dukette was a pretty bright light too and she thought to herself, "Hmmm, you know, it is just as good to marry my pretty daughters off to rich guys, like princes and dukes and that sort of guy as it is to marry them off to butchers and plumbers and used carriage salesmen." And that is the plan she carried out. Unfortunately, she married some of her lovely daughters to some of her ugly relatives, and that is why so much of European nobility has a Coburg affiliation and some of them are old maids.

And that's the truth, honest...

Now there are some other folks who have a bunch of letters after their names who dispute the accuracy of the above history. They say... If you trust them...

Coburg has been around for a really long time; since the tenth century. The city was the part-time headquarters of the Dukes of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha who were adept in forming alliances through marriage of their offspring. This is kind of the way that they say these events occurred. In 1830, Leopold of Saxe-Coburg became the King of Belgium. The English got in there when he married Princess Charlotte of Great Britain, and another princess of Coburg (a widow, they say) married the Duke of Kent (of Great Britain, where else) who became the parents of Victoria, who became the Queen of England (where else). Then, she married her first cousin, Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to form the current House of Windsor. Actually, they stayed as part of the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha until WWI when they didn't want German names in the English royal family so the changed their name to Windsor after a castle they had. How about that. Then, besides all that, they married themselves into the royal dynasties of Belgium, Denmark, Bulgaria, Russia, Sweden and Portugal.

Which is what I have been saying all along...

For a more accurate and detailed history of Coburg, refer to the superb pages of antistar on his Coburg pages and tips.

Now that we got all that straight, we have to get down to the nitty-gritty of this whole thing. What you read above had to happen because of the degenerate artists of the time. If you look at this picture (close-ups in the "Tip" section), you will see what the town was. It was a regular Sodom and Gomorrah, is what it was.

See, if you look at this fountain, you'll know that I am right. First, you figure out that this is the Garden of Eden and we all know what happened there. On the left, is the old snake (played by 'Snake') threatening Adam (played by an unknown actor standing in for Adam who got bit in the last performance). On the right is Eve (played by someone who I wish was my girlfriend) playing coy and saying, "Adam! Quit playing with that snake and get over here." Eve had some plans for Adam's energy. All this was going on in good ol' Coburg. I even heard that there were no "houses of ill repute" in Coburg because there was no "ill repute."

Makes sense, don't it? Now, aren't you glad you came?