"Now living in Papua New Guinea" Simonyet's Profile


Moved to PNG now...we are nomads.

Where am I ?

Not exactly sure yet.

My Personal Curriculum Vitae

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugees, I write award winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo woman with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30 Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly, defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I had trails with Manchester United, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.

When I am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hand gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.

Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have appeared on Through The Keyhole and won the gold plaque. Last summer I toured Europe with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I run the 100m in 9.65 seconds. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in the international botany circles.

Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and all my bills are paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

I have made extraordinary four course meals using some vegetables and a Breville Toaster. I breed prize winning clams.

I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka and chess competitions at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

  • Intro Updated Jun 2, 2013
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Comments (84)

  • Parisforless's Profile Photo
    Dec 27, 2013 at 11:44 AM

    Sorry I am late. Happy birthday and many more to come!

  • toemayn's Profile Photo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 4:25 AM

    Hope your birthday is filled with all the fun you can handle!

  • unravelau's Profile Photo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 3:33 AM

    Happy Birthday Simon. I do hope that you have a great day. Regards, Carole.

  • Parisforless's Profile Photo
    Dec 21, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    Happy birthday Simon, many happy travels!

  • Usctwin's Profile Photo
    Dec 20, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    Happy birthday, Simon!

  • Parisforless's Profile Photo
    Dec 4, 2012 at 2:14 PM

    Thank you for accepting my friendship
    Svetlana Bellon

    • Simonyet's Profile Photo
      Dec 4, 2012 at 2:48 PM

      Hi Svetlana. I managed to view everything on your personal website and I must say, you are very creative....and very busy. I have not been actively participating in VT for some time but have been using pages for my travel references to all my latest destinations. However, I have continued to travel and explore the world at every opportunity and will continue until such time as I need to be in a wheel chair. This Christmas it is Tokyo and Taipei.....my actual travel motto should be "have stomach will travel". I am so looking forward to the ART of food in Japan. My other motto should be "shop till you drop". I am sure I can beat any woman hands down when it comes to shopping.

      I hope you have a wonderful festive season and wish you success in art sales.

    • Parisforless's Profile Photo
      Dec 4, 2012 at 3:04 PM

      No you didn't manage everything on my website because it took me more than a year to write it, but I do appreciate you looking at it. Yes I am very busy including repairing my flat at the moment.
      I am happy that you continue to travel - my intentions are the same as soon as I finish my flat.
      I have a cousin in Tokyo and hope to visit him soon, but considering shopping I am not big on that and I don't mind you beating me on that one.
      Happy holidays!
      Svetlana Bellon

  • unravelau's Profile Photo
    Dec 20, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    Hi Simon. Hope that life is good for you where ever you are. Happy Birthday 2011. Carole.

  • Tina-Perth's Profile Photo
    Dec 20, 2010 at 2:38 AM

    I miss you, Simon, 'wish you'd come back. Txx

  • janetanne's Profile Photo
    Sep 24, 2010 at 11:20 PM

    Hello Simon from Greece. Have you returned to VT? Janet

  • allikat's Profile Photo
    Mar 16, 2009 at 10:37 PM

    OMG! I just saw your comment on Deb's homepage! Was wondering where you are only recently. Well, hope you and Bebe are well and happy!

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Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
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Nov 20, 2005

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