"Grazie, Lolita" Florence by CliffClaven

Florence Travel Guide: 5,082 reviews and 11,268 photos

Driving in Italian cities can be difficult at the best of times, and Florence is perhaps more difficult than most, especially when local drivers have to put up with lost tourists trying to negotiate the narrow trafffic-clogged streets, or drive across intersections controlled by traffic lights.

Old Cliffie was driving there one day, with his Neapolitan Lolita at his side, when a police car pulled up beside them and a carabiniere asked: Ma Lei non vede i semafori (Don't you stop at the lights)? Old Cliffie was about to offer a grovelling apology in his best Italian when Lolita - she of the tumbling hair, dark glasses, olive skin, who couldn't look more Italian if she tried - tipped her head on one side and with an angelic smile said in awful English: Sorry, we donta speaka Italian. Old Cliffie groaned but the carabiniere laughed and said: Ma va, Lei è più italiana di mia madre (Go on, you are more Italian than my mother).

And he drove away, still laughing.

Intro Written Sep 27, 2002
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Reviews (6)

Bar with a view Nightlife (1)

As you walk over the Ponte Vecchio from the Piazza della Signoria, turn left into the Via dei Bardi and about 40 metres... more travel advice

Duomo di Firenze Things to Do (3)

The Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore stands on the site of an earlier cathedral built in the fifth century. Work on... more travel advice

Michelangelo's David Things to Do (3)

The original of Michelangelo's statue of David is now in the Museo dell'Accademia. The statue in the Piazza della... more travel advice

Ponte Vecchio Things to Do (3)

In Florence you can buy postcards showing a deserted Ponte Vecchio, with not a soul disturbing the outline of its... more travel advice

Restaurants (1)
Cheap and cheerful dining

Hotels (1)
Holiday Inn

Comments (14)

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Helenbb Jun 17, 2008 at 4:23 AM

im everywhere with my uncle. hahahaha.. crazy weather crazy niece.
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catalysta Jun 30, 2006 at 8:03 AM

HAhahahaha...and I drove away, still laughing...W
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craic Jun 15, 2003 at 7:52 AM

Been ages since I have had the pleasure of reading one of your pages.
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Ginaravens Apr 2, 2003 at 2:12 AM

You bring Florence alive
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MalenaN Mar 22, 2003 at 2:06 AM

Nice tips and stories! I would not drive in Florence.
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Sarita76 Mar 21, 2003 at 3:16 AM

Hey, this is a very good story!!! :-)
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littlesam1 Nov 7, 2002 at 10:04 AM

Loved the Ponte Vecchio story. Florence is beautiful.
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syllybabe Oct 22, 2002 at 7:15 AM

Wouldn't mind being proposed to on Ponte Vecchio if the proposal comes with something from one of the stores there.
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LizC Oct 10, 2002 at 9:08 AM

Excellent story telling! Old Cliffie and Lolita ought to be in the books, or movies!
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iandsmith Oct 1, 2002 at 5:08 AM

Between you and dnwitte I'll be forever entertained!