"Leaving Lithuania" a Lithuania Travel Page by CliffClaven

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Woody Allen could have scripted old Cliffie's departure from Lithuania.

He handed over his travel document at the booth in the airport and the passport officer carefully looked at it. He inspected every page, checked the main page, inspected every page again from the back, put it down and picked up his telephone.

It didn't help that while all this was happening, old Cliffie's brother, next in the queue, was keeping up a running commentary: "Well, what do you expect if you hand over a dodgy travel document? And then he's going to ask for a real passport, and you hand over a totally clean passport issued this morning. And if he looks in your bag, he'll find more passports. You're lucky this isn't New York - you'd probably end up in Guantanamo!"

The officer in the booth, who had one pip on his shoulder, spoke on the phone and two minutes later an officer with two pips appeared. He picked up the passport, checked every page and said something to the officer with one pip, who picked up the phone to make another call. Two minutes later an officer in plain clothes, wearing the standard-issue dark glasses of secret policemen the world over, joined the two uniformed officers. He picked up the passport, looked at every page and said something to the officer with two pips, who passed on the remark to the officer with one pip, who picked up the phone yet again.

This time the wait was five minutes, until an officer with enough pips on his shoulders to keep a South American general happy arrived at the booth. His crisp, white shirt indicated that his rank entitled him to an air-conditioned office, and the menacing scowl on his face indicated that he didn't like having to leave it. He picked up the passport, looked at the cover and snapped out an order. The officer with one pip hastily stamped old Cliffie's diplomatic passport and handed it over.