"Lettuce Be Friends!" Jumanji_Tortoise's Profile

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Welcome to my humble travel pages, as you can see from from travel list I am not a great adventurer but I have been here & there.

My favourite destination is Old House in Lawn, where I have recently moved to. The freedom of my new obode is great.

Not to far is an "Area of Natural Beauty" called Flower Bank, I try to visit here often although some strange force keeps flying me back to Lawn against my will!

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Old House

A little about me

I like nothing better than a good long nap, broccoli, & dandilion leaf are my favourite, although I am partial to strawberrys now & again. I am quite a joker, some of my favourites are.........

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Four tortoises were playing poker when they ran out of beer. They pooled their money and sent the smallest tortoise out to fetch the beer. Two days passed and there was no sign of the tortoise.

" You know, Tommy is getting really slow nowadays", said one of the tortoises.
A little voice from just out side the door said, " If you are going to talk about me , I won't go."

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A tortoise is walking down the garden path one evening after sunset near the lettuces, when all of a sudden a gang of slugs jump him. The slugs are part of a local gang and are armed to the teeth with knives, guns and chains. "Hand over your wallet!" one slug orders him - and the tortoise scared stiff does all they say. Later on, the tortoise is down the police station to report the crime. He is still a bit shaken but the policeman sits him down and asks him what happened. "I don't remember officer," the tortoise worriedly replied, "it all happened so fast!"

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"I'm a tortoise" says the bloke. "This", he says pointing to his girlfriend, "Is Michelle"

LOL, LOL! My cracking repartee is endless

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Restaurant Tip

In one end out the other!

Here I am at one of my favoured hostileries aptly named "The Food Bowl". Service is great & usually a good selection of fruit & veg is on offer. I would recommend this place & will definately eat here again, the cucumber lasagne looks temping!

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Transport Tip

My usual mode of transport between, Old House, Flower Bank, Fruit City & Green Patch is flying with Butler Air. The flights can be a little sporadic, rather when Butler Air seems to think I should be somewhere rather than when I have actually made a booking. But must not complain not often you can fly for free these days.

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Party Tricks

Apart from the above mentioned jokes, I am quite partial to doing the odd party trick, the one which seems a hit at the moment is sitting on someones shoulder like a parrot with my neck stretched out, reciting all the roles from Monty Pythons famous "Parrot Sketch".

The old ones are still the best, Ohh yes!
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Future Travels

Where to next……

I am often asked where I would like to travel to in the future, a few place in the top of my wish list are

: Tortoise Island in Western Australia
: Green Turtle Cay in the Bahamas
: Turtle shell Island, Ohio
: Strawberry hill, England
: Cabbage Tree Island in Australia

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Intro Updated Jun 27, 2005
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Comments (19)

mirianamak Oct 17, 2006 at 10:42 AM Report Abuse

Hiii !! Did you visit some of the places from your Wish list , Cutie!:) Great pics and jokes!;) Hey I am a broccoli type too! :))
Panos1111 Nov 19, 2005 at 1:55 AM Report Abuse

One of the best pages I've seen in Virtual Tourist! Very funny. Jumanji, may I suggest Turtle Bay in Maui, Hawaii as one of your future travel destinations too?
orke Nov 14, 2005 at 4:10 PM Report Abuse

LOL :-)
johngayton Oct 29, 2005 at 8:29 PM Report Abuse

Brill Nicola, and tell Jumani I will always beetroot for ever. LOL and Cheers, John. Finished "Raw Spirit"? want another recommendation?
evona Oct 19, 2005 at 2:51 PM Report Abuse

HIIIIII!!!! Great page!!!!!! Lovely pics :)
Tugboatguy Oct 16, 2005 at 6:56 PM Report Abuse

Hi Jumanji, Remember, slow and steady wins the race, congratulations on beating that overconfidant Hare! lol Doug (^_^)
KarenandCory Sep 18, 2005 at 5:02 AM Report Abuse

My question is about one of your favorite foods, the dandilion leaf. I have two tortoises of my own that would benefit from your expertise. How is your dandilion prepared? (like, is it the kind you buy in supermarket, or the dandilion flower thingy?)
obiwanwasabe Sep 8, 2005 at 8:00 AM Report Abuse

Hiya, Just remember "life is as complex as concave and convex!" (if that one flies above your cranium ...ask and all will be revealed) Nick
TheWanderingCamel Aug 11, 2005 at 12:20 AM Report Abuse

Love it! And you don't even need to take a tent with you Jumanji. Keep us posted with your next big expedition. leyle
Aurorae Aug 8, 2005 at 1:27 AM Report Abuse

Hilarious! Are you going to travel along as well?! :-)