"Where are all the good men dead . . ." sarahjayn's Profile

in the heart or in the head?

So, I really don't believe that people read these things. I am basically doing this for the same reason that I keep my diary online. You might loose a journal, but if you loose the World Wide Web, you've got bigger problems than what you did in the summer of '96.
However, on the slim chance that anyone does give a golly, I'm an artist, I went to the most fabulous New College, and I live in Tampa. In fact, I grew up here. Jealous? Yeah, I knew it.
Anyhoodles, I love to travel. I like meeting new people and seeing new things. I'm always broke, but I'm creative. I think that combo makes for the best travel, but seriously, I've got no basis for comparison. I just know that I would feel weird staying in a hotel and not talking to the people around me. It's better when you are sleeping in a room of strangers.
Oh, yeah . . . .

Gag me with a spoon . . .

I love corny / horrible jokes. (Note, I didn't say dirty. I hate dirty jokes. I'm not a prude or anything, but I like to laugh, not squirm.) If you have a joke, send it to me - I'll love you for it. Here are some I heard recently:
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean Beef

Sometimes, when I feel like taking off all my clothes and running around naked, I drink a bottle of Windex and it keeps me from streaking.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians all the time?
A: The drummer.

So, a preist, a rhabbi, and a horse walk into a bar. the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

We know that Jesus was a jew. He lived with his parents until he was 33, he went into the family business, and his mother thinks he's God.

Two old ladies go out to a new diner. they walk out dissatisfied. old lady number one says, "The food was terrible." "Yes," says old lady number two, "and such small portions."

Q: What did the fish say when he hit his head on the wall?
A: Dam!

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."


I have been told several, several, several times by someone that there are spelling errors in my writing. Apparently some people take this website really seriously. Anyhoodles, just watch out for my blatant ignorance.

  • Intro Updated Jun 24, 2006
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Comments (73)

  • kopwint's Profile Photo
    Sep 16, 2009 at 4:02 AM

    happy and free in your days and get success and smart,and get harmony and peaceful in your days there, and wish you get all wishes you want, Happy birthday from Burma,

  • Brokenwheel's Profile Photo
    Aug 21, 2009 at 12:54 AM

    Pfft! How could you do that?! Neurocam. It would be wiser not to paint a red mark on your back. So Neurocam is here on VT as well. It seems like the sun never sets on it. I know things most will never know. Et vous?

  • moonlighting's Profile Photo
    Oct 15, 2008 at 4:46 AM

    I love the characters of your family! wacky! And do you like Hello Kitty? I love Hello kItty!

  • traveloturc's Profile Photo
    Sep 15, 2007 at 11:18 PM

    Happy birthday to you from Istanbul/Turkiye..I wish that you realize all your dreams...good luck ...

  • steevie_wanders's Profile Photo
    Sep 5, 2006 at 5:25 PM

    A new one: a car battery and an eyeball walk into a bar. The battery asks fordrinks, and the barman instantly refuses. 'Why?' he asks.. The barman replies, 'Well you're about to start something, and your friend is clearly out of his face!'

  • 50sr's Profile Photo
    Jun 30, 2006 at 7:54 PM

    hi sarahjayn where do ppl celebrate the 4th of july in tampa?

  • anne77's Profile Photo
    May 29, 2006 at 7:11 AM

    Hi, I was looking through your pages - quite interesting! liked your sense of humor and your art too. Have a nice day. Anne

  • supercarys's Profile Photo
    Mar 5, 2006 at 1:44 AM

    loved jokes 1, 2, 3, 8 and 9! Agree with you about dirty jokes. Speaking like Yoda, I am.

  • Feb 28, 2006 at 11:19 PM

    I thank you very much for taking the time to stop bye my homepage & for leaving a comment.

  • wreckloose's Profile Photo
    Feb 7, 2006 at 3:48 AM

    hopefully lord stanley's cup will be coming back home to toronto... where it belongs. =)

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