London Warning or Danger Tips by rickyvilla81

Here's one: traffic. Okay so the average speed of traffic hasn't changed for a century (11mph, even in the days of horse and cart), but it's still as much of a nark. At least you don't step in horse-poo as much now though. But when you're a tour guide for a bus compnay and you are stuck in traffic, you tend to have to find things to say to keep people amused. I've been stuck on Westminster Bridge so often I've got a little poem, to counter the one written by Mister William 'Had his' Wordsworth in 1802.STUCK ON WESTMINSTER BRIDGE
A sunny day it might be

Big Ben is striking five

The Thames is flowing gently

It's good to be alive.

But I've been here for hours

The view is wearing thin

The traffics going nowhere

And makes a dreadful din.

The tourists are all bored now

With tales of County Hall

And Red Ken's GLC days

They just don't care at all.

The London Eye is faster!

At half a mile an hour!

At our rate we'll be lucky

To ever reach the Tower

It looks like rain is coming

It's colder than a fridge

Looks like we'll spend the evening

Stuck on Westminster Bridge...

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Being drunk on the Underground is hazardous - it becomes like a Minoan labyrinth. I guarantee you will wake up in some distant corner of the Capital you've never even heard of where Night buses fear to tread.
However, if you cannot afford to drink in the Capital, just get yourself a Travelcard and stand on a tube as it hurtles down a carriage WITHOUT holding on - you'll get the sensation you are drunk, FOR FREE!!!

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Ouch! As of February 2003, Londoners have had to face a new reality - the £5 congestion charge. There is a large zone within Central London, clearly marked in the roads by large red C's, and trooped by a legion of CCTV cameras, and if you pass within this zone you must pay - but first you must register your car license; the camera picks up those license plates and checks the registartion and will fine you £80 if you fail to pay - and find you they will, even if you are using a hired car. Thousands have already been fined, including our own PM Mr.Blair, who admittedly qualifies for the discount living in Whitehall. So be warned if you are planning to drive into London!

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