London Tourist Trap Tips by Cham

Anything that says TRADITIONAL PUB on the outside is anything but traditional...

if you walk into a pub with low ceilings smokey atmosphere and an old man with a dog in the corner drink a pint of brown, then you know you're in the right place... in fact if you walk in and the music and all the punters stop... then you know you've hit the jackpot.

Leave a Comment

At Least Do This: order a pint of bitter (IPA, spitfire, anyting with a pull tap at the bar)... especially if you're american... you will have new found respect
Alternative: there's always walkabout or a whetherspoons pub

there will be people at about 5pm everyday asking for your travelcard tickets...

they will sell these on to other people, but more to the point it's actually illegal for you to give them the ticket so don't do it

Leave a Comment

Alternative: just do what all londoners do and ignore them...

Outside a lot of the theatres and concert venues you'll see people asking to buy or sell tickets. Unless you're desperate to see the show dont' buy from these people. they sell tickets to make a profit, therefore a £20 ticket will cost you about 80 depending on the show. especially at concerts its best to wait until later if you're going to buy them because then they will be trying to get rid of the tickets because they're no good to them, so you may get it cheaper than the actual price. The other upside of this is that the scumbags won't make any money.

I particularly hate these people for one reason, they stop real fans or customers getting tickets so that they can sell them at a higher price and make money for doing nothing. I have no problem paying more for a ticket as long as i know it's going to the performers or the theatre, but i don't believe that these people should be making money by taking advantage of people that actually want the tickets.

I have been to a concert before, which was about half full but the venue had sold out, all because the ticket touts realised that the band playing had a huge following and sold out the last venue. so they bought all the tickets and most people saw that it was sold out and didn't bother even trying to get the tickets...

Leave a Comment

At Least Do This: wait til very close to the start of the performance, they may sell you the ticket cheaper than it's face value because they will just have a worthless piece of paper if they hold onto it.
Alternative: book early by phone or on ticketmaster.co.uk or if you want a cheap ticket get to leicester square and head to the south end of the little park there, there's a box office selling late deals and matinee tickets

The hats u will see at major tourist attractions... they are roughly £10 which i suppose isn't too bad... but please think about the pictures! what happens in a few years when your kids see these pictures... think about their lives... you're not just harming yourself!

I'm kidding it's a bit of harmless fun but the real warning comes in that wearing one of these singles you out as a tourist so pickpockets and criminals are more likely to target you... just make sure you take it off when you're on places like oxford st or at tube stations.

Leave a Comment

At Least Do This: 1) know when to take it off to not single yourself out.

2) make sure you take the tag off before you wear it.

3) they it looks better if there's more than one of you wearing them, safety in numbers

4) make sure your head is big enough, people like me have the tendency to pull them down over your eyes :)
Alternative: you could buy a bunch of england flags if you really want to look english... but don't forget it's also a sign of british racis... i mean nationalism...

There's a very famous ticket booth in leicester square, both in the square and on the corner where the station is. It might look like a great place to get tickets last minute but honestly you'd be better off going on the internet and ordering or directly to the theatre and ordering from their box office. www.seetickets.com is one of the best online ticket vendors because they actually have a number you can call up and speak to them. usually the tickets will be available for you to pick up with your credit card at the theatre when you get there...

The Tickets from the booths are in fact legalised ticket touts so the price you pay for tickets there can be double the price you'd normally get.

Leave a Comment

At Least Do This: buy the tickets online first... then wave it at them as you go past
Alternative: www.seetickets.com