"Lucky in love... unfortunate in travelling" Stevo68's Profile

Mugged twice! Fung Foo Internationale

Outside the take-away, Saturday night
a bald adolescent, asks me out for a fight
He was no bigger than a two-penny fart
he was a deft exponent of the martial art
He gave me three warnings:
Trod on me toes, stuck his fingers in my eyes
and kicked me in the nose
A rabbit punch made me eyes explode
My head went dead, I fell in the road

I pleaded for mercy
I wriggled on the ground
he kicked me in the balls
and said something profound
Gave my face the millimetre tread
Stole me chop suey and left me for dead

Through rivers of blood and splintered bones
I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
pulled the corpse out the call box, held back the bile
and with a broken index finger, I proceeded to dial

I couldn’t get an ambulance
the phone was screwed
The receiver fell in half
it had been kung fu’d

A black belt karate cop opened up the door
demanding information about the stiff on the floor
he looked like an extra from Yang Shang Po
he said “What’s all this then
ah so, ah so, ah so.”
he wore a bamboo mask
he was gen’ned on zen
He finished his devotions and he beat me up again

Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
I’m a shadow of the person that I used to be
I can’t go back to Salford
the cops have got me marked
Enter the Dragon
Exit Johnny Clarke

  • Intro Updated Feb 19, 2006
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Comments (18)

  • traveloturc's Profile Photo
    Sep 15, 2007 at 11:27 PM

    Happy birthday to you from Istanbul/Turkiye..I wish that you realize all your dreams...good luck ...

  • Fergie01's Profile Photo
    Sep 16, 2006 at 9:42 AM

    Happy Birthday...have a good one....greetings from Ontario Canada - Deana

  • jamie_goa's Profile Photo
    Sep 15, 2006 at 10:07 PM

    Happy B'day! .. Best Wishes..

  • Jul 19, 2006 at 4:41 PM

    Hoi there, you ever go down the Steamboat or Drum in Ipstinks? Steamboat's become my new local and tis good fra tune or 2. Jem.

  • Senoritasmile's Profile Photo
    Mar 15, 2006 at 5:47 AM

    Sorry I missed you! Was away for my birthday.

  • Jan 30, 2006 at 11:29 AM

    YOu will have fun my friend good party town ... do the mile high parasailing~~ English family scared the hell out of me~ a mile up for over 50mins.fantasic just by the habour~~Have Fun~~

  • Dec 20, 2005 at 9:58 AM

    Im missing you so much babe...I wonder where you have gone sometimes :( So glad to hear your alive and well :) :) I hope you have the merriest of all Xmas's sweetie...Take care of yourself ok, and keep in touch :) Big hugs, and kissssses. Hails oxox

  • InterCity_Luton_Dave's Profile Photo
    Nov 20, 2005 at 8:43 AM

    find very interesting.as he is my son and a slap head.

  • Jul 14, 2005 at 5:39 AM

    I think Ekain is working al Llodio´s Council. Ask there for him

  • angelin's Profile Photo
    Mar 4, 2005 at 6:50 PM

    Karate, Martial Arts is my favorite, great homepage Bruce Lee.... You'll soon be lucky, believe yourself, who knows? I'm also getting married soon this coming May, 2005, wanna invite you on our wedding party...Angelin

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