Toronto Things to Do Tips by Kaspian

Canada's Wonderland is, in my opinion, a mere shadow of its former self. What used to be an incredibly clean family-oriented theme park (opened in 1981) has become a slightly grotty teen hangout with emphasis primarily on splash and thrill rides. To its credit, Wonderland has the third greatest number of rollercoatsers in North America.
Check out the following rides: "Italian Job", "The Drop Zone", "The Bat", and a small kid's ride called "The Ghoster Coaster".
Early goers to the park will remember such things as "Yogi's/Smurf Forest", walking to the top of "Wonder Mountain", and "International Street" (which sold items from around the world). There also used to be live performances on stages around the grounds, where parents could sit and watch a corny musical while the kids did the rides. These features no longer exist. It's all been replaced by more rides. Pirate ships that used to sit in the pond area have been converted into a diving platform. The only performance I witnessed during my last visit was a diving show.
Teenagers absolutely love Wonderland. They roam in wild packs making googly eyes at groups of the opposite sex. Tweens think they've died and gone to heaven. Hormones are the new fuel that keep this place going year-after-year. However, I would say that parents with children under the age of 10 would have more fun taking the kids to Ontario Place and the CNE for the day... or even Centre Island.
I don't know whether it was because it was the end of summer of if it's normal, but the park was dirty--garbage on the ground, tables that needed to be wiped, sidewalks that needed to be cleaned. Food vendors didn't open until around noon and the selection was limited--most vendors had the exact same things. There wasn't a single AA battery in any of the stores, and that sucked because my digital batteries were dead.
I was happy to eat a funnel-cake though, at least they still have those! The toppings had depleted from about 10 (when I was a kid) to 2. Sigh... just not what it used to be.

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Directions: Paramount Canada's Wonderland is located about 20 minutes north of Toronto off Highway 400, 10 minutes north of Highway 401. Exit Rutherford Rd. if heading north or south on Highway 400.
Website: http://www.canadas-wonderland.com

"Let's go to the Ex!"
The Canadian National Exhibition (called "the CNE" or "the Ex" for short) has changed very little since my childhood--except now they don't give away free stuff on opening weekend like they used to. It used to be they'd give you small pieces of dinnerware, keychains, toys, mementos, and food samples. But everything else is still as I remember--the latest midway rides/games, horse shows, animal and agriculture displays, stuntmen performing, colourful stage acts of international dancers and musicians, a food pavilion large enough to get lost in, furniture and wares imported from far away places, hundreds of artisans displaying their handicrafts, interactive sports displays, and a nightly fireworks show to finish off the evenings.
In 1878 an agricultural show which toured to a different Ontario municipality each year came to Toronto. It was such a success in Toronto that a permanent annual exhibition called "the Toronto Industrial Exhibition" was established the following year on the current site of the CNE. It is now the oldest annual fair in the world! It grew with the times to include technological and automotive displays. A contact was awarded to Conklin Shows in 1937 to operate a midway of rides and games.
The CNE is open for less than a month annually--from mid-August to labour day weekend in September. Please check their web site for exact dates.
If you plan on taking some midway rides, make sure you buy your tickets online in advance and purchase the "Magic Pass". It gets you express entry at the CNE gate and you'll save money after taking only two or three rides.
The site is fairly large so make sure you wear good walking shoes!
Do not miss: "Heritage Court", "Art, Crafts, & Hobbies", "Farm, Food, and Fun", and "Scadding Cabin" (Toronto's oldest house, built in 1794).

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Phone: 416-393-6300
Address: 100 Princes' Blvd, Toronto, ON
Directions: The most popular way is to take the subway to Union Station and then take the 509 Harbourfront streetcar to the grounds.
Website: http://www.theex.com
Other Contact: info@TheEx.com

A half-hour late from our departure time, a stout man in a red tie appears. "Are you Mr. Edward? Come please with me. I am not kidnapping you." My companion and I hesitantly get into a limousine and are dropped off at an undisclosed location. I think it's a hotel lobby.
A white van is parked outside with "King's Tours" written on the side. It's entirely full of people.
A couple from Manchester is also waiting. He paces nervously. "Well, this is all a bit shady innit?" he says, "I'm ready to rent a car, I am!"
After an eternity, a tall, dark man appears and takes us to a black SUV parked behind the van. The Britons are suspicious, "Wot? In that!?" I'm secretly having the time of my life.
We all get in. My girl's put in the back seat with the couple and I'm riding shotgun.
The tall man explains it was overbooked and they needed to get this vehicle for us and we'll be following the van. He's from Sri Lanka; he's clean cut, articulate, and knowledgeable.
We stop at a winery. I'd envisioned an old man showing us oak casks and grapes on vines. Instead, we're in a fancy shop where we're given wine samples while a pimply teenager explains how to taste them. He lists brands and prices ad-nauseum. We pay $4 extra to sample the ice wine. Bored, I sneak around back to take photos of the vineyard.
The SUV whisks us off to "Niagara on the Lake," a storybook town of old buildings and gorgeous flowers.
The next stop is the "Floral Clock", which is just a giant metal clock stuck into a flowerbed. I'm the only person who bothers to get out and take a photo.
We finally reach Niagara Falls. This tour includes the "Maid of the Mist" boat tour in the ticket price. The ride is fantastic! Sitting at the base of Horseshoe Falls, the water forms a giant white curtain around us. The craft feels very small.
We have three free hours to walk closer to the falls or around town. We ate lunch, met our driver and the Mancunians, and headed back. I realize that I like having our own private driver; I'm glad I'm not in that crowded van.

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Phone: info@niagaratours.ca
Directions: They will pick you up at your hotel. (Cloak-and-dagger style!)
Website: http://www.niagaratours.ca
Other Contact: info@niagaratours.ca

I love Toronto's Chinatown! It's my favourite place to hang out and I could literally spend my entire stay there; checking out all the the little shops, groceries, and restaurants. The sights, sounds, and smells (oh, yes smells! ) can be completely overwhelming on your senses. It feels like a fantastic break from Western culture.
Chinatown runs along Spadina Street in downtown and is one of North America's largest Chinese districts.
Try to find a resturant that's packed with locals--that way you'll get to sample the "real" cuisine and not stuff prepared for tourists. Buy some of the imported DVDs that have subtitles, many of the Asian movies are way better ours lately (especially the horror ones).
Toronto's original Chinatown was located at Dundas and Bay St., but when construction began on the City Hall, it moved west to its current location at Dundas St. W and Spadina Ave. It began to really boom in the 1960s. Chinatown has grown to reflect a diverse set of cultres including Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, and Korean.
It stretches for several blocks in every direction.

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Address: Corner of Dundas St. W and Spadina Ave.
Directions: Take 505 streetcar W (or walk) from St. Patrick subway station.

Kensington Market isn't a "market" in the regular sense of the word, it's a collection of ethnic food stores, hip coffee shops, and used retro/military surplus clothes stores. If you ever have one of those days when you wake up thinking, "Hmmm... Today I'd like to buy a military tent, a genuine 60s go-go skirt, a Rastafarian hat, a pound of Mexican chillies, and then sit down to drink a latte while reading Nietzsche to pretend I'm clever," then look no further!
I know there are people that think Kensington is "ultra-cool" or the "jewel of Toronto", and don't get me wrong, I love spending time there, but the whole premise of the neighbourhood is absolutely ridiculous. But that's why I enjoy it; it makes me laugh. ...And I guess there is a nice idea of "world harmony" in there somewhere. It's a fun way to spend an hour or two on a sunny afternoon.
Many of the houses in the area were built in the 1880s to house Scottish and Irish immigrant labourers. "Kensington Market" itself was founded shortly after 1910 by a large wave of Jewish immigrants who were displaced from a different area of the city. They opened tailor, bakery, and import shops in the densely built houses that occupy the streets. Later still, immigrants from the Portugal, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, and draft-dodgers from the US-Vietnam war all moved in. Council and developer plans to demolish and redevelop the area in the 1960s fell through when a mayor sympathetic to the neighbourhood was elected.
An open-air market occurs in the streets on Saturdays.
Kensington does offer one's mind a beautiful break from all the chain stores and franchise restaurants that plague the rest of Toronto's core. Even brand new storefronts and objects look slightly tattered and worn-out when placed here. But that's what this area's always been about... a home for the dispossessed.

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Address: Kensington Avenue
Directions: Bounded by College St. on the North, Spadina on the East, Dundas to the South, and Bellevue to the West.

Held in early June on College Street, this is a showcase of the best of Toronto's Italian cuisine. Come to sample and eat, eat, eat.
"Wow, God..." It's the hottest weekend of the year so far and we've just wandered onto the crowded street lined with smoking and flaming barbecues. The fantastic smells are overwhelming in the heat. There's a band playing rock on one side of the street and an elderly Italian choir singing with an orchestra on the other.
Signs advertise sausage on a bun, lamb skewers, grilled shish kebab, penne pasta, gelato, calamari, shrimp patties all for 2 to $5; dishes you would normally pay twice that for. Lineups have formed at the more popular food stands.
Sweat trickles down my temple as I sip from an iced cappuccino. "It's so hot..," I mumble to myself.
We stop to watch the Italian choir. The ladies look so proper in their traditional green dresses with large gawdy jewelry and oversized glasses. It makes me smile. This is fun! And don't eat before you come here!
Check their web site for exact dates and times, it changes yearly.

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Address: College St between Euclid and Shaw
Directions: Take the #506 streetcar.
By subway: Get off at the Queen’s Park Station and take the College Streetcar #506 west to Bathurst St.
Website: http://www.tasteoflittleitaly.ca

A boyhood dream come true! ...Three days with my best friend and nothing but science-fiction on the itinerary--"Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Stargate","Battlestar Galactica", "Doctor Who", and "Buck Rogers"? Sweet!! Sure, this trip would have been a lot more fun when I was eleven years-old, but what the hey? It's something I always said I'd do at least once in my lifetime.
Walking into the hotel lobby puts a huge grin on my face. I've never seen so many nerds in my whole life! But they're such nice people... They always say "please", "thank you", "excuse me", and always always hold the door for you.
Polaris, although it's not Canada's largest sci-fi con (that would be Fan Expo Canada), declares itself "Toronto's best science fiction and fantasy convention". Held annually in July since since 1986, it used to be called "Toronto Trek", but recently changed its name to "Polaris" to be more encompassing. It's organized by the fans for the fans.
Events include celebrity photo/autograph sessions, "Klingon Karaoke", the dealer's room, a charity auction, model displays, a masquerade, and dozens of workshops and discussion panels.
Watching people in full Klingon war regalia sing "We All Live in a Yellow Bird of Prey" at "Klingon Karaoke" had me in absolute stitches laughing.
Hungover the next morning, my friend and I get on an elevator and I start checking out the very shapely, good-looking, slightly older than me woman in there. As the doors open to exit, I realize that she's Martina Sirtis --who played Counselor Deanna Troy on "Star Trek the Next Generation".
That afternoon, I am completely immersed in a discussion with several dozen people about the character "Rose" from "Doctor Who". Some of them know much, much more than I do about the subject.
I had a great time for the $60 weekend pass price. But if you don't know the difference between a Starfleet Officer, a Viper Pilot, a Clone Trooper, and a Timelord I'd recommend just buying a one-day pass to satisfy your curiosity.
Live long and prosper!

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Directions: Held at a hotel near Pearson Airport, but location may change from year-to-year. Check their web site for the most recent upcoming location.
Website: http://www.tcon.ca

Driving down Bloor Street, I gasp and point out the window. "Hey look! A zombie!" We all crane our heads to get a look at the pale creature covered in blood as it shuffles its way down the sidewalk. "Hey, there's two more--schoolgirl zombies!" We park the car and walk down the block. Suddenly we're surrounded by hundreds of hissing and snarling zombies with ripped dirty clothes, messy hair, yellow teeth, gray skin, missing eyeballs, knives protruding from heads and chests.
On one Sunday every year in October, hundreds of Toronto's undead gather in a park and march the streets attacking unsuspecting pedestrians and motorists. And what is it they want? "Brains!! We want to eat your brains!"
Toronto invented the Zombie Walk. It was started in 2003 by a horror movie enthusiast named Thea Munster. Although the first walk had only six participants, in true zombie-plague fashion the numbers grew exponentially every year and the plague quickly spread to major cities throughout all of North America. Thousands of dead people now take part in these events worldwide.
As we try to take photographs without being mauled and eaten alive, a SWAT team appears. They manage to take down two of the monsters, but we all know how these films end. ...The SWAT team is outnumbered and doesn't stand a chance against these shuffling, hungry corpses.
Braaaiiinnnsss!

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Directions: Check web site for upcoming time and location.
Website: http://www.torontozombiewalk.ca

Archelon ischyodus scares the pants off me. It's a cast skeleton of a 15-foot prehistoric sea turtle that's suspended from the ceiling in a diving position. It gives me chills imagining that thing the size of a small car swimming around underwater ready to bite my leg off. I can't keep my eyes off of it just in case it comes to life.
This is the new "Age of Dinosaurs and Age of Mammals" exhibit at the ROM. It has loads and loads of skeletons. The most impressive are the photogenic Tyrannosaurus rex with its 60 razor-sharp teeth, the 90-foot long Barosaurus (the only mounted one in the world), a mastodon, and a gigantic ground sloth that's twice the size of a bear. Gone are the ROM's recreations of dinosaurs that were part of my childhood--painted plaster replicas with glass eyes posed against jungle backdrops. My sister-in-law, who works at the museum, explains, "Those aren't cool anymore. ...I miss them too. Pure skeletons are the in-thing now."
More details to come...

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Phone: (416) 586-5549
Address: 100 Queen's Park
Directions: By TTC: Museum Subway Station. By Car: Drive on Bloor until you reach Avenue Road/Queen's Park. The Museum is on the southwest corner of Bloor Street and Queen's Park.
Website: http://www.rom.on.ca/