FORUM OF CULTURES and other Barcelona, Spain Tourist Trap Tips

Barcelona 2004 and there is propaganda for The Forum of Cultures everywhere. But Forum of Vultures would be a better name.

The exhibitions and the site (a concrete jungle in an industrial area of the city) are very disappointing. The event's themes are Peace, Sustainable Development, and Multiculturalism - all very worthy topics. But the practices of the event's commercial sponsors tell a very different story: INDRA (missile systems, the Eurofighter, link-ups with US companies involved in 'Star Wars II' projects); ENDESA (Spanish power utility whose dirty thermal power stations make the company Europe's 4th largest CO2 polluter); Nestle (pushes bottle feeding in the Third World, contributing to 1.5 million baby deaths a year according to UNICEF), and so it goes on. In fact, the whole US $ 2.5 billion-plus project is little more than a wheeze to justify massive property speculation and position Barcelona as a kind of latter-day San Francisco in the tourism stakes. Greenpeace and Amnesty - among other NGOs - have pulled out of the event in protest. Environmentally aware tourists should therefore be in no doubt as to what awaits them - a kind of Disneyland in which the multinationals have hijacked decent ideas for their own nefarious purposes.

In fact, the whole project seems cursed. Two acrobats collided in mid-air in one of the early performances and the troupe pulled out. The much trumpeted (and sinfully ugly) Herzog & Meuron building leaked, and a couple of priceless Chinese terracotta warriors on exhibition were damaged. The Tibetan monks were thrown out of the Forum at the Chinese government's behest because their stand mentioned the atrocities committed by the Peking regime in their land. The Forum organisers caved in - the Chinese Terracotta Warriors provide the key exhibit - and the corporate sponsors have their own reasons for keeping the Chinese sweet. End result: the Tibetans have been exiled to a small tent at the end of the Ramblas boulevard in the city.

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Alternative: Visit the Tibetan monks in their tent at the Columbus statue end of the Ramblas boulevard. Watch monks making a mandala and give them a bit of moral support to help make up for the shabby treatment meted out to them by the Forum organisers.

Alternative 2

Take a trip to Montjuic castle, overlooking the city. Gazing towards the northern end of Barcelona, you will see a mess of skyscrapers and cranes emerging from Barcelona's traditional low-rise cityscape. That is the Forum site and its associated rampant property development .

Alternative 3

Write a letter /postcard in English to
Mayor Clos,
Ajuntament de Barcelona,
Placa Sant Jaume,
08002 Barcelona
(SPAIN)

Barcelona has some excellent museums but also far more than its fair share of really crappy ones. The Footwear Museum falls into the latter category. If viewing row upon row of ancient footwear is your cup of tea, this is for you. If not, think twice.

The problem is that - with the odd bizarre variation (Gary Glitter's platform shoes, Frankenstein's beetle crushers) - footwear has not changed much over the ages. People still have five toes per foot, ankles, soles, etc. and this inevitably leads to a certain convergence of design. Barcelona's Footwear Museum merely confirms this boring fact ad infinitum.

Why not put your feet up and take a siesta instead?

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At Least Do This: Goggle at the footwear worn by the famous and let out loud exclamations like "Just imagine, those shoes were actually worn by ....[fill in the name]!" and watch for signs of enthusiasm in fellow tourists.

Alternatively, try "They may be Roman sandals but you can practically smell the foot odour' to see if you can put anyone off lunch.

Footwear History Museum
Placa Sant Felip Neri 5 - 08002 Barcelona
Tel.: (+34) 933 014 533

Opening hours: Tuesday to Sunday, 11 am to 2 pm.

Have you noticed how quickly tourist guides date? You set your heart on seeing this or that sight only to find yourself up merde creek without a paddle when you belatedly discover that the guide information is way out of date. The same applies to much of the dross floating around on the Internet.

Such is the case of : www.Barcelona.Citysupport.nl
a web site in the Netherlands. Dutchmen thinking of visiting Barcelona can read the following:

In het Rioolmuseum kan je je verdiepen in de geschiedenis van de riolering.

In plain English, 'You can delve into the history of sewage works at the Barcelona sewage museum'.

Just why anyone should want to delve into the history of sewage works escapes me but the fact is that you can't, at least here. At the time of writing (2004), the 'Museum' has been closed for the last six years.

At its inauguration, it featured two spanking new large-bore sewer pipes (unused), an 'installation' with various TV monitors displaying a video sequence of rats (accompanied by evocative sewer sounds), plus - and this was the high point - an exhibition of the city's 19th century death registers (Malaria, Cholera, Typhus epidemics, etc.). But both the diseases and the 'museum' are things of the past. Many tourists on their way to the Sagrada Familia fail to notice the grafitti daubed 'museum' at all. It is only on rare days when the maintenance staff leave the doors open that a whiff from the bowels of the building hints at the earthier use to which it is now put.

So stop wondering where your last meal went and find something interesting to do.

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At Least Do This: Read the description below and have a quiet snigger (assuming you read Dutch). Alternatively, tear your out-of-date guide into suitably sized strips. It's bound to come in handy the next time you have an attack of 'Spanish Tummy'.

In het Rioolmuseum kan je je verdiepen in de geschiedenis van de riolering. De eerste rioleringen in Barcelona werden al in de Romeinse tijd aangelegd. Er wordt op een duidelijke manier verteld hoe door de eeuwen heen het rioleringsstelsel is uitgebreid.

In het museum wordt duidelijk dat het aanleggen van een riool heel wat voeten in de aarde heeft. Zo moet men rekening houden met de weersomstandigheden, de bodemgesteldheid en de drainage. Dit alles wordt samengevat in een plan. In het museum is zo?n plan te zien dat dateert uit 1891.

Daarnaast wordt er aandacht besteed aan grootschalige rioleringswerkzaamheden die plaatsvonden ten tijde van de Olympische Spelen in 1992. De echte fanaten kunnen een afspraak maken om de riolen van Barcelona met eigen ogen te aanschouwen.

Adres:
Pg Sant Joan, 98
08009, Barcelona
Tel: +34 934 576 550

Openingstijden:
Voor exacte openingstijden neem contact op met het museum.

Entreeprijzen:
Standaardtarief: circa [Euro] 1,20

Openbaar Vervoer:
Metro: Lijn 5: Verdaguer
Alternative: Almost any alternative has to be better.

Here's a free translation for those who don't read Dutch:

You can delve into the history of sewage works at the Barcelona sewage museum. The first sewers in Barcelona were laid by the Romans. The museum tells how the sewage system was extended over the centuries.

The museum also reveals how ground conditions determined the sewer system. Weather, soil horizons and rock strata , and drainage were all important factors influencing planning of sewer systems. The scheme on display dates from 1891.

A lot of information is provided on the sewer works laid at the time of the 1992 Olympic Games. Real enthusiasts can ask to be see working sewers in the city.

Address:
Pg Sant Joan, 98
etc.
So now you know what you are missing. Alas, it is all so much water under the bridge...