Don't use the 'F' word! and other San Francisco, CA Local Custom Tips

San Francisco is a very proud city. Sometimes this pride borders on smugness. If there's one thing we San Franciscan's love to talk about, it's how great our city is (or was, if you're talking to a bitter oldtimer!). We're always willing to offer an opinion as to the best view, our favorite restaurant, directions (it's confusing even for locals!), and anything else about our lovely home town.

We only ask for one thing in return: never EVER refer to the city as "Frisco." If you want to instantly change a local's opinion of you from good to bad, try using the 'F' word! I don't know why this is the case - it just is. Don't do it!

Some hip-hop types try every so often to make "Frisco" an edgy, hip word. It just makes people hate them more.

San Francisco is universally referred to as "The City." If you say to anyone in Northern California that you're going to "The City," everyone knows you mean San Francisco. The term "SF" is acceptable, as is "San Fran," but they're rarely used. People from SF are called San Franciscans - or, rarely, "city-folk" - I'd like to see that one used more often!

A few more - Gough Street is pronounced 'Goff,' Geary is pronounced 'Geery,' Kearny is pronounced 'Kerny,' and Noe is pronounced 'No-ee.' Highways are referred to by just their number - as in "you take 280 South." Don't say "you take THE 280 South." Putting "the" in front of the number is the way SOUTHERN Californians say it - and, therefore, it's bad.

These gaffs are all excusable and trifling compared to the 'F' word, though.

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I heard a comedienne once describe it thusly; "there's a huge rivalry between San Francisco and Los Angeles........ it's just that only San Franciscans know it exists!" I don't know if it's really essential to know this, but there is animosity between SF and LA, or, more accurately, Northern and Southern California.

The most obvious manifestations of this are in baseball. Giants v. Dodgers games are always sold out, and chants like "Beat LA!' and "LA sucks" echo through the stands. I remember in the 80's when normally deserted Candlestck Park would get 50,000 fans on a chilly Wednesday night for SF/LA games. They could, and often did, get violent - fights in the stands were common. After one paticulaly nasty game (which I had the misfortune to attend), The Giants banned beer sales completely for nearly a year! The rivalry between Oakland and Anaheim is not quite as heated, but the 2002 world series between the Giants and the Angels fueled this rivalry anew!

Besides baseball, the rivalry exists in other sports as well - particularly college football. Cal vs. USC games are always intense no matter how poorly the teams are doing.

It would be one thing if this was only about sports, but there are very real and pragmatic reasons as to why this rivalry exists. Water being a main reason. Water is scarce in this booming area, and more than a few NorCal lakes have been drained dry in an effort to supply the Southland with water. The drought of the 70's saw many NorCal areas close to water rationing, while the TV showed Southlanders wasting it with impunity.

This goes back to the very beginnings of the state. San Francisco sees it self - quite rightly ;) - as the real California, with the gold mining areas of the Sierras as its protectorate. When Los Angeles surpassed San Francisco in population in the 1910's, the politicians had to secure water rights for their new booming area. Much of that water would end up coming from Northern California. The environmental damage caused by this is still very evident today; the windswept, desolate Owens Valley was drained by SoCal, and Mono Lake very nearly met the same fate. The California "Water Wars" have been the subject of many books and TV specials, and no doubt will continue to be, as the population of California continues to boom - and the political and business interests of the state continue to do nothing but make the problem worse.

Northerners tend to look at Angelinos as wasteful, shallow, a-moral "use and be used" types. Southerners look at Northerners as elitist, stuck-up "player hating" hicks. Whatever. I only include this to point out that there are really 2 Californias - and it goes way beyond Bonds v Gagne.

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It is a San Francisco custom to go out to brunch on the weekend - particularly Sunday. Many places that just do dinner during the week will be open on the weekends early for the brunch crowd. Some neighborhoods get practically overrun, and it's not at all uncommon to wait over half an hour for a table.

Since alot of this is "morning after" action - leftover from the night before - the crowds don't usually show up before 10:30. If you're just looking to get something to eat in the morning on the weekend, you might want to get there early to avoid the rush.

The place on the left is the Pork Store on Haight & Ashbury. Great always but crazy on the weekends!

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SF may be a liberal, anti-war city, but even we can't resist the roar of F-18s! Fleet Week happens every year during the first or second week in October. Thousands upon thousands of folks line the north waterfront to see the parade of navy ships, aerial acrobatics, and, especially, the Blue Angels. I went this year, and they threw in the Red Bull air races as well!

Events run all week, but the main days are Saturday and Sunday. It's free, so the waterfront is mobbed for about 2 miles! There's so much space, however, that it's really not necessary to get there real early. The best place to watch the event - especially the Blue Angels, is at the grandstand seating at Municipal Pier, just to the right of the Fort mason complex. These seats cost money, though - $20 - and have to be reserved ahead of time. Another great place to walk is the jetty containing the "wave organ." It's a hike, though; you have to walk around the yacht club to get out there, and it does fill up.

What to bring: A folding chair, camera (with zoom), snacks and water (the food stands are scarce, expensive, and lousy), binoculars, sunscreen, and a jacket for later.

Parking: Don't park north of Lombard Street! The area is absolutely jammed after the Blue Angels finish. Public transportation is useless - the buses can't get through the crowds. It's best to hike up the steep hills (a brutal walk!) and catch an east-west route, or just get a coffee and wait a while. And speaking of coffee, for some very strange reason, coffee is just impossible to find at the event! Get some on the way!

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Website: http://www.fleetweek.us/

There’s a bit of an urban legend surrounding the Panhandle – a one-block wide, ¾ of a mile long strip of park connected to the eastern boundary of Golden Gate Park near the Haight/Ashbury.

The story begins back in 1992. There lived in San Francisco a crazy man named Michael Kagan, known to locals as 'the Pigeon Man,' who would feed the Panhandle's pigeons. "If you disturb my pigeons,” he’d often tell people, “I will kill you."

Late one night, a young musician named Buck Naked (the singer of the popular local band “Buck Naked and the Bare Bottom Boys”) was walking his dog. The dog disturbed the pigeons, Mr. Naked and Mr. Kagan got into an altercation, and the “Pigeon Man” shot Buck – killing him. The "Pigeon Man" was immediately captured and given a permanent coop of his own.

The urban legend is... since that time, the Panhandle is known by its total lack of pigeons. You will find pigeons in every park and on every street in San Francisco... EXCEPT the Panhandle! For some reason, they just don’t go in the park!

Now, truth be known, I actually have seen pigeons in the Panhandle. But it is very rare to see them, and they only stay on the edges near the street. I have NEVER seen a pigeon in the middle of the park.

And... according to some people ... sometimes... late at night... you can hear a voice calling “Here boy!” But, when you turn around, there will be no one there!

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Street Protests are an integral part of life for many San Franciscans - especially those who have been here for a few years. While there's been a lull in recent times, large street actions are beginning to make a resurgence - especially as conditions worsen in Iraq. While protests today aren't as vocal or confrontational as they were in, say, the late 80's (Central America) or the early 90's (Gulf War I), the protest organizers are much more adept at their craft. A well-organized phone and flyering network can, and often will, put together a protest of other 10,000 people in 1 or 2 days notice!

If you should find yourself caught in the middle of a protest, just relax and enjoy it 'cuz you're not going anywhere. DO NOT try to drive through a crowd of people - at the very least you will get your car damaged, you may get pulled out of your car and roughed up AND get arrested to boot! The police and the more-organized protestors have an "understanding" - and usually work with eachother well and in this case YOU will be the troublemaker!

Protests are really San Francisco's best expression of spontaneous creativity! Enjoy the colorful costumes and the hilarious signs. You came here to see San Francisco, and this is as San Francisco as it gets! Consider yourself lucky, take lots of pictures, and enjoy democracy!

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The average day in San Francisco - no matter what the season - is partly cloudy in the 50's. But every so often, The weather Gods align just right and we get a few days of hot, sunny, gorgeous weather. Temperatures in the 80's or 90's with a crystal clear sky!

We get only a handful of these days every year – usually a few in the Spring and a few in the Fall - so, when they happen, you have to take advantage. Any bar with an outdoor patio will be packed all day, the parks are covered with people and dogs, and people at the beach wear bikinis instead of down jackets!

Being out at midnight in just shorts and a t-shirt may not sound like much, but in San Francisco it is a magical event that MUST be celebrated. It is virtually a City law that you must drop any plans and enjoy the day... because you never know when another one will come along.

But watch out! We have another, similar weather phenomenon that is even more mysterious. Sometimes we get these freak hot days where the air is deathly still. The locals call this "earthquake weather." I don't know if there's any evidence behind it, but it is on these days when we seem to have more than the usual amount of detectable earthquake activity. No one who lived through it will forget the day of the "Pretty Big One" on October 17th, 1989... not just because of the 7.1 magnitude quake, but also the freak heat wave that hit the day before!

Weeeeeird!

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What is “earthquake weather?”

You’ll notice if you’re in the city on a certain rare kind of day that some people will bring up the subject of earthquake weather. Earthquake weather is typically an unseasonably hot, slightly humid day with an overcast sky... but also an unnatural, eerie stillness to the air.

Although we San Franciscans like to believe we invented the idea, it is an old theory... VERY old. In the 4th Century B.C., the Greek philosopher Aristotle proposed that earthquakes were caused by winds trapped in subterranean caves. Small tremors were thought to be caused by air pushing on cavern roofs, and large ones by the air breaking the surface. This theory led to a belief in earthquake weather, that - because a large amount of air was trapped underground - the weather would be hot and calm before an earthquake. (from the Wikipedia page on Earthquake Weather).

Now, living in the SF Bay Area for all of my 44 years, I can tell you there’s no such thing as earthquake weather. On the other hand... anyone who lived through the “Pretty Big One” on October 17th, 1989 will also no doubt remember that the quake was preceded by classic earthquake weather!

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