Jiddah Local Custom Tips by Manyana

For both women and men, this greeting is common. It's to touch cheek by cheek three times on the right, one time on the left, no kissing, as one shakes hands.
This greeting is only common among men to men, or women to women. Unless if women and men are relatives (brother, father, unkle, nephew only).

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Many have asked me and even let their imagination drift away, " are women being kept in isolated corners?" as if men are, supposedly, not kept in another corner! To save you a headache, there's no such a thing and there is too:D In restaurants, there are 2 sections; 1 called Family Section & the other called Single Section. The first is tailored 2 serve men and women respectively, even pretending to be family. In other words, if you grab yr boyfriend w/ u and say he's my brother if asked, no one would bother to check on you! you are family:) In the latter section, it's for single males who r 'condemned' not to enter the mixed section. Some shopping malls hire security guards only to disallow single men to enter the mall which *** off the poor guys really! So what happens is...usually these guys wait by the mall gate, until they see a bunch of girls getting in, ask them 2 let them in as family. Well later, usually they start dating,lol. In banks & hospitals, there are 2 separate waiting rooms and departments serving each. Yes, but they are catered solely 2 provide different services. eg, the women's section provides credit card services with cosmetics discounts while the men's offers discounts on computers and so on. This separation actually has arisen because many many women have demanded to have 'privacy' and the society was just responding to this strange request! sometimes older-generation women yell at the security when they let guys slip in the mall..quite funny:D However, in the private life of the saudi family, this so-called segregation widely varies from one family to another. Conservative family will always have two different guest rooms, but open family always mixes. On my side, it's a bit funny. Since my mother's family is conservative, usually we separate. But my father's side is QUITE open, we go jetskiing together,lol. I know my mother hates this but sorry I enjoy it;^) so this is the story of the segregation myth and it's up to you to decide if it is or it is not errr..a segregation!

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Its the 9th month in the Islamic Calendar. In the Islamic traditions, Muslims supposed to observe the crescent to annouce the first day of Ramadan the next day; so the same thing to end fasting. In Jeddah, the whole lifestyle of people simply changes.
- Shopping malls operate 5pm -2am and in the last 10 days of Ramadan until 4am!
- Public and private sectors including schools start late with shorter days usually 10pm- 3pm
- My part of cultural amusement: the streets and malls start to wear a new dress of decoration, red, white, and green and other traditional colours
- Saudi women wear their traditional fancy thobes, only to show them off in this month!
- Fasting people often seen with prayer rosary either for praying or fashion, and again with Miswak chewing stick to let the mouth smell go away, based on an Islamic tradition
- Restaurants close during the whole day to all people and start operating after al Asr prayer (late afternoon).
- Mosques, usually big, host free Iftar meal every night for 30 days, sponsored by volunteers and home-made food and drinks. It is the holy month of increasing good deeds and spreading goodness, so people usually bring lots of food at Magrib prayer to have their breakfast (first meal after fasting) together. When the prayer is being called, exactly in 2 minutes, all the food and wastes will be cleaned away as people collaboratively do this! i love this scene.
- Mosques perform Taraweeh prayers after Isha (the usual evening prayer), and that is 8pm -9:30pm. In the last 10 days, there will be another service, ie Tahajud, 12am -3am.
- People prepare special food and drinks only for Ramadan, including Sambosa, Dates and Dairy, Cereal soup, Foul, and loads of desserts like Toromba, basboosa and mehallabiyya. The modern joke is...that Ramadan is supposed to lose weight but now it is to gain more weight for all the special Ramadan sweets and desserts. It is just an enriching flourishing experience for everyone:^)

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Eid means an annual event to be remembered by public. Jeddah celebrates two official Eids every year; Eid al Fiter and Eid al Ad'ha. The first means the celebrationf of breaking the fast, and the other is the celebration of devotion.
Eid al Fiter is celebrated right after the end of Ramadan. On the first day of Eid, there is one big mosque specially open on this day to tailor Eid prayer service for hundreds of individuals. People dress up their fancy *new* clothing, wear their perfume ready to go to a nearby or the big mosque in North Jeddah. Women wear full make up as if they are going to a wedding day. Men wear their white delicate thobes and mesh'lah as if they are groom. Usually they bring food and dates to serve other people, sharing their happiness about this special day. They start showing up at 6am until the service begins at 7 or 8. I often see little boys wearing the old costumes with orange turban and beige waisters and that's stunningly cute. The Saudi tradition is that parents and senior family relatives usually give money gifts to all unmarried children, both newborn and adults. So the more uncles and aunts you have, the more money you receive. When I was a child, it wasn't really the case. I remember my mother used to buy Superman and Butterfly costumes for me, my sister and my cousins. Each one received one. The next year she would bring trains and puzzles and dolls and kitchen tools, and everyone would just play with everyone. Well, I used to mix the kitchen tools with the train tracks,lol. My father was the only child but my mother has mashallah lots of siblings. I used to look forward to Eid every year since it's the month of greens:D--Eid al Fakkah
The second Eid is after Hajj or the Islamic Pilgrimage to Makkah. People supposed to sacrifice goats or sheep, representing their will to welcome overseas pilgrims, guests and those who are in need with fine food ie meat. This tradition is based on Islamic values and the story of Abraham and his son. This Eid is the event of meat:D--Eid al Lahmah.

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This is what I miss most since I left home to have my break time 4 times per working day. This comes from the daily Five Islamic Prayers; Fajr (dawn), Dhohor (noon), Asr (late afternoon), Maghrib (sunset), and Isha (evening). Since there are almost two shifts in private sectors, like restaurants, shopping malls, banks and hospitals, so the staff members enjoy their break 4 times a day! All shops and services are supposed to close or to cease temporarily during the prayer time, supposedly staff and clients will go and do their prayers. It is very common to see men closing shops and women lingering around, watching and chattering rather than praying,lol. Well, many men do the same thing too. But it varies from one person to another.

One of the nice things I like to see during prayer time is when people line up so quickly in group rows to perform their prayers. It just stands for a harmonious system that can get through almost any tough time, be it work, or a heated argument with your boss.

When I was in college, the Dohor break time was for one whole hour from 12pm to 1pm, allowing people to have their lunch and do prayers at the same time. For me and many people in Saudi, the prayer time was my major source of discipline. I knew what to do exactly when setting for myself strict deadlines; "I must finishing writing this report before Maghrib prayers" or "I can submit this project right after Dhohor prayers" and so on.

It's not only taking time for God, but also doing good:^)

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I recently have been to a Sufi service which is quite commong among the Sufi community men and women respectively. Since it's mainly a segregated culture when it comes to conducting such services, it's always women-only the events i attend. i've been to several religious services, Anglican, Catholic, Hindu and some few spiritual services while travelling. But this kind of meetings are more social and identity-reaffirming than anything else.

women usually get together from time to time, have a religious service, then finish their evening with a chat and dinner.

These meetings serve different purposes; celebrating the birthdate of the Prophet is one of the big services; performing prayers upon individual requests mainly for marriage, illness or school or work performance; or giving a small talk on religion in relation to women's issues such as fasting and menstruation, marital relationships, superstition or what society is out to speak about. They are always conducted in groups where friends and acquaintances can be invited over such evenings. The age group of attendees is usually 40+ though the young generation, like myself, may attend but not as a regular habit.

The nature of such activities involves religous chanting, dressing up, and lending a hand in preparing the after-meeting meal. Many women contribute to making the dinner by making a dish or two and giving it to the house mistress or the lady who's in charge.

i guess this's one of the way how saudi women socialise and get to know each other as friends and acquaintances. religion certainly is the master that brings the social units together. do you know why religion has such an important value in saudi life?

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Aza or Condolence often, in Jeddah or al Hijaz region, lasts for 3 days after the deceased has been buried. When someone dies, they will be immediately buried on the same day or the next as maximum. This stands for high respect as it is largely believed that the grave is the new home for the deceased. "Takreem al mayyet dafno" or ...to pay respect to your deceased ones, bury them. So, the immediate relatives of the person will receive condolences from visitors at their house. Family rents chairs & red carpets so a large numbers of visitors can sit. There are normally 2 sections; women's & men's seperately. The immediate relatives will be wearing white if they are women so everyone will recognise them as well as sitting in 1 row. Women visitors should let their black abaya on, covering hair indoor as a sign of sadness and respect. Men wear their white thobes & ghotra to cover their hair, which is the special costume for events.
Reception starts after Maghrib or sunset prayers to Isha or evening prayers through the whole year unless in Ramadan, the Holy Month where it starts later. After 9pm or Isha, only close friends and relatives will remain with the family members and have dinner, which is prepared by neighbours and purchased by other relatives or so...it is the tradition, considering the great amount of grief, the family has no time or the spirit to make any effort of serving others, so their friends are expected to help. The dinner usually is rice and meat. During the meal, the interesting part comes. People start to narrate their dreams about the deceased, 'oh i saw him in heaven'...'she is happy with flowers'. This is very common, not sure if they are credible to me!!!Also there is recitation of Quran in the men's section or a religious speech and prayer service in the women's section or vice versa.
This is strictly observed and smoothly done as people help each other to get this done quickly. I've heard that it's not the case in the Central Region as it only lasts for one day...interesting!

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This is the 'only' and 'best' excuse you will always hear, 'why women should wear veil and cover their faces'...whether you are a woman or a man, you're the given this very same excuse. It took me more than 20 years to realise that this excuse is actually given by 'men' who are always afraid to describe the beauty of women...in fear of committing a sin (an Islamic belief), while women have, in response, obliged and covered, and even worse. Women have never dared to describe their love or admiration toward men in a physical description. Meaning, most Arabic/Saudi novels written always describe the feminine bodily beauty but not the masculine. Some of my female friends say, 'cause most novels are written by men'. True, but even female-written books shed very little light on men's beauty and only describe the shades, like his intellect, clothing, manners of smoking or holding cups! but never his tough cheeks, big hands,..etc.
So next time if you are a woman and asked to cover your hair/face, just say, 'why?' and you'll be given the answer.....then know what to say that you're not lesbian to be attracted by other women, 'give me another excuse, 'cause men should cover, they're seductive by nature too':^D

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i guess every reader is aware that Saudia has got the highest birth rate in the world. perhaps Saudis are so proud of it, being the first generator (or exporter,lol) of human babies and resources, well at least we're the first in something!
In Hijaz or the western region, receiving a new a newborn baby is something everyone may talk about especially if it's the first baby in the family. This goes back to the islamic tradition established by the Prophet Mohammed 1400 years ago. There are several rituals to perform when having a new baby, whether the first or third; animal sacrifice, shaving the baby's hair, and naming the baby of course.
The animal sacrifice varies depending on the sex of the baby. If it was a boy, then two sheep should be sacrificed. If it's a girl, then it should be only one sheep. Then a big fest should be made celebrating this big event.
Many Saudis still shave the whole baby's head in the first week or so. It was done by the Prophet so people still do it. The hair shaved should be weighed and then the equivalent cost of that weight should be given to charity. It's believed by the majority this ritual strengthens the baby's health and intelligence. I don't think my hair was shaved when I was born, no wonder I am dummy sometimes;^)
Also to give a name to the baby is rooted in Islamic traditions. The baby has a naming ceremony (unofficial); the head of the family, be it grandparent, should say Islamic Azan each ear of the baby. Then say, 'You shall be named X, following the sunna of the Prophet', given the hope the baby will be raised as Muslim, or so as i know.
i'm not aware of such things are taken seriously anymore, but i find it quite interesting! well, another thing, i cannot tolerate kids nor am i someone's baby. wonder why i still am saudi,lol

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i think this subject is every groom's nightmare. The groom, in Jeddah or western saudi as far as i know, is supposed to prepare for the whole wedding process, financially. that means, to pay for flat rent, get jewels and presents, and most important to pay the legal Mahir or dowry to the bride.
there's no minimum or maximum for the dowry. but there's definitely a classification. if the bride is virgin and first-time wife-to-be, then her dowry should be higher than second-time brides. The convention for first-timers of middle-class is SR20,000 to SR35,000 excluding the jewels and all the other presents, while it ranges between SR10,000 to SR15,000. I honestly don't know if this range is still being practised but what I heard when i was a kid,lol. i should ask my sister when she gets married, how much she wanna charge,lol.
i don't agree with all this hustle and burden thrown on the groom's shoulders. definitely you don't want to freak out your beloved wed husband, though you do hear these stories where brides set their dowries as SR10 only!
The custom of dowry goes back to the Islamic tradition of Mahir where first set by the Prophet Mohammed, as a sign of respect to the bride and her family. women used to be equal to dirt those days and paying her a dowry had indeed given her some dignity, as you cannot pay for dirt!
anyhow, although woman's status in arabia of course has changed considerably, i don't bother about any of these customs. just observe from a distance and say, 'interesting';^)

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