Israel Local Custom Tips by gilabrand

When I was growing up, we had a funeral parlor on the corner of our street. It was a big white mansion sitting on a hill, surrounded by green lawns, with a driveway for the shiny black hearses to pull in. My brothers and I used to cut through this driveway on our way home from school. If there was a hearse parked there, we’d press our noses close to the dark glass to see if we could make out any dead bodies inside. When we found stalks of gladioli and other flowers strewn on the ground, we were delighted. What a nice present they made for Mom…

At Jewish funerals, it is not customary to bring flowers or wreaths. Burials take place as soon as possible after death, and coffins are made of the plainest wood. In Israel, in fact, coffins are not used at all. The deceased is buried in a simple prayer shawl. It is considered wasteful to chop down trees and spend money on ostentatious flower arrangements for the dead. There is no viewing of the body or embalming. Simplicity is the word.

And after you visit a grave, you leave a small pebble to show you've been there - not flowers.

No one really knows the real reason for this. Some say it goes back to ancient times when tombs were sealed with a stone to keep evil spirits from escaping or the corpse from being preyed on by animals. Others speculate that it is a way of showing that building a monument to the deceased never ends, or symbolic of the idea that “here lies a person who is worth remembering.”

Whatever the origins of this custom, it is one that is practiced until today. Go into a Jewish cemetery anywhere in the world and you will see pebbles on the tombstones. Flowers fade and die, but a stone is an enduring reminder that someone cared.

Leave a Comment

What's For Breakfast?

Old fashioned Israelis (who haven't gone over to sugary breakfast cereal) eat a finely diced cucumber and tomato salad seasoned with olive oil and fresh lemon juice, some kind of bread (pita, a fresh roll or a French baguette), sliced cheese (yellow cheese, or Bulgarian-style salty white cheese), cottage cheese or plain yoghurt - and olives (yes! for breakfast).

Leave a Comment

Hebrew is written from right to left, with dots and dashes under or above the letters instead of vowels. In books and newspapers, these vowel signs - called "nikkud" - are usually left out. Sometimes it can be confusing, even for people with a good knowledge of the language, because the same word could be pronounced in different ways. Most of the time, the context helps - but not always. Each letter of the alphabet - "alefbet" in Hebrew - also has a numerical value.

Apropos "right to left," here's a little anecdote: When Golda Meir was prime minister, she tried to encourage Henry Kissinger to make Israel a top priority in US foreign policy.

He wrote her a letter saying: "I would like to inform you that I am first an American citizen, second Secretary of State and third a Jew."

She responded: "In Israel we read from right to left."

Leave a Comment

Native-born Israelis are called "sabras" ("tsabar" in Hebrew). Why? Because the Israeli character is supposedly like the fruit of the cactus plant in this photo, which grows wild all over the country: prickly on the outside and sweet on the inside.

Obviously, this is a stereotype, but stereotypes often have a grain of truth in them. When visiting Israel, there are behaviors you may encounter that rub you the wrong way. Depending on where you come from, you may be misinterpreting things and judging by a different value system.

Here is a guide that can help you keep differing value systems in perspective:

(1) An Israeli's directness and honesty may be perceived by Americans as rude and tactless.
(2) Assertiveness --> aggressiveness.
(3) Informality --> lack of consideration or rudeness.
(4) Pride and self-confidence --> arrogance.
(5) Warmth and familiarity --> intrusiveness or invasion of privacy.
(6) Spontaneity -->lack of restraint or lack of order.

And vice versa:
(1) An American's friendliness may be perceived by Israelis as superficiality.
(2) Politeness -->artificiality
(3) Clear-cut instructions -->rigidity, inability to improvise
(4) Openness about anxieties -->tasteless exposure of private matters
(5) Planning, advance scheduling -->rigidity, excessive formality.

Leave a Comment

The Middle Eastern chickpea dip called hummus is not a secret anymore. Now you can get it in the supermarkets all over the U.S. Even so, it can't compare to the authentic version you get here.

In restaurants, it is served as in the picture: A big dollop on a plate with a little indentation in the middle for olive oil, then sprinkled over with parsley and a little paprika. Usually pickles and olives are served alongside it, with a plate of hot pita bread. You can also order it topped with whole chickpeas or with ful - a flat brown bean that people in the Middle East love (I like it, too), although I think it may be an acquired taste...

Hummus can definitely be a meal in itself.
You pull off chunks of the bread and scoop up the hummus. Made of ground chickpeas and techina (a sesame seed paste) it is not only tasty, but good for you - something that doesn't often go together. Another plus is that it's one of the least expensive foods around.

Certain restaurants have become famous for serving "the best hummus in Israel." In Jerusalem, some people swear by Rahmo, a "working class" restaurant in the Mahane Yehuda market. True devotees swear by the hummus at Sa'id, a "hummusia" (hummus joint) in the Acco marketplace with only one dish on the menu: hummus.

Although I can't say I've checked out every such establishment in Israel, I would vote for Sa'id. It's amazing just to see the way this place operates - the quickest service in the Middle East! In the back, you can see the giant vats they use to make the hummus fresh every day.

Leave a Comment

On Fridays, before the Sabbath begins (and all the shops close), Israelis make sure to stock up on two things: "garinim" and newspapers. Garinim are sunflower seeds, which are bought freshly roasted from special nut and seed shops. Other favorites are pumpkin seeds, watermelon seeds, pistachios, almonds and a coated peanut snack called "kabukim."

The average Israeli male could win a world record in garinim-eating, if there were such a thing. They have a special technique (which I personally have never mastered) for cracking them open with their teeth, extracting the seeds and spitting out the shells a mile a minute, all without taking their eyes off the newspaper.

The garinim and other nuts and seeds are purchased in little brown bags of 100 or 200 grams which the seller scoops up for you. They can be purchased in cellophane bags in the supermarket, of course, but those in the know say there's nothing like the freshly roasted kind.

In Jerusalem, the most famous garinim shop is Bahari, which opened in 1951. It is located in Simtat Bahari - an alleyway between King George Street and Jaffa Road. Just follow your nose: The smell of roasting nuts wafts through the air.

Leave a Comment

The pomegranate (rimon) grows wild in Israel. On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, it is customary to make a blessing over this fruit, praying that our merits will be as numerous as its seeds. The tree itself is a bit on the scrawny side, but the crimson globes that ripen toward the end of the summer are lovely to behold. The pomegranate is one of the seven fruits symbolizing the Land of Israel, along with wheat, barley, grapes, olives, dates and figs. It was among the fruits brought back by the scouts sent out by Moses in biblical times, as proof that the land was fertile. Pomegranate-shaped adornments embellished the robe of Aaron, the high priest (Exodus 28:33-34) and the capitals of the pillars of the Temple (I Kings 7:18, 42). Often, the handles of Torah scrolls in the synagogue are decorated with silver pomegranates. The top of the fruit looks like a little crown.

Eating a pomegranate is no simple feat. It happens to be a favorite of my husband, who eats it over the sink, but still manages to spray the deep red juice all over the place. In ancient times, it was used as a dye – and for good reason. It leaves stains that are very hard to get out…

If you want a bowl of seeds to put on the holiday table (which minimizes the mess), try this: Slice the pomegranate in half, put it cut-side down in a deep plastic bowl, and tap the rounded part with a meat pounder or some kind of hammer. The seeds slide out into the bowl. Discard the rind and pith.

Leave a Comment

Hina: A pre-wedding ceremony

This is a Yemenite custom, as far as I know, but in Israel, it has been adopted by people from other ethnic groups, among them Moroccan, Kurdish and Iraqi Jews. A few days before the wedding they have what is called a "hina" party - which is actually henna - the stuff that dyes hair kind of reddish and is used in henna tatooes. They make a paste of this henna and it is brushed on the palms of the bride and groom, leaving a yellowy-brown stain. Exactly what it's for, I can't say. Maybe good luck.

The couple dresses up in traditional garb and the family dances and sings around them. At a Yemenite hina I attended, the women arranged candles in a big flat tray covered with sand, lit them and danced with the tray on their heads. The musical accompaniment was provided by the men, who beat out a rhythm on big square jerrycans that were once filled with gasoline.

Another custom is to prepare trays of fancy little cakes wrapped in cellophane and ribbons, and dance around with them, too. If you click on the picture, you can see some of these trays behind the couple.

The photo shows my niece Etti and her husband-to-be Alon, at their hina party a few years ago.

Leave a Comment

A dreidel (“sevivon” in Hebrew) is a special top that kids play with on the holiday of Hanukkah. Traditionally, it has 4 flat sides, each with a Hebrew letter on it , standing for the words "Ness Gadol Haya Po" (A Great Miracle Happened Here).

I grew up with dreidels imprinted with a different lettering. The miracle of Hanukkah took place in Eretz Yisrael – the Land of Israel, hence the word “po,” which means “here.” Dreidels made outside of Israel have letters corresponding with the words “Ness Gadol Haya Sham” (A Great Miracle Happened There), “sham” meaning “there.”

Kids spin the top just for fun, or play a game in which you win or lose depending on what letter it falls on. The "pot" could be anything - pennies, candies, or whatever. When I was little, my siblings and I played with raisins. We were a large bunch (six kids) and I guess that was the least expensive option…

The best is "gimmel" or "G" - If your dreidel falls on this letter, you take the whole pot. If it falls on "nun" or "N" for ness, you get half, and so on. Nowadays, kids have new-fangled battery powered dreidels that play music, change color, etc.

“I had a little dreidel” is a popular children’s song for Hanukkah in English-speaking countries:

I have a little dreidel
I made it out of clay
And when it’s dry and ready
Oh dreidel I shall play.

(For more on Hanukkah, see my Jerusalem page)

Leave a Comment

One of the long-standing traditions of Hanukkah is eating latkes – potato pancakes. American Jews usually serve them with sour cream or applesauce. In Israel, this tradition has been largely replaced by eating jelly doughnuts – sufganiyot. The common denominator here is that both are fried in oil.

The story of Hanukkah dates back to 165 B.C.E., when a band of Jews recaptured the Temple in Jerusalem from the Syrian-Greeks. When they entered the desecrated sanctuary, they found only enough pure oil to kindle the menorah for a day. Miraculously, the oil lasted for eight days.

To commemorate this miracle, fried foods are the order of the day (or rather, week). Sufganiyot go on sale sometime around the end of November, several weeks before the holiday. You’ll see them everywhere, in supermarkets, bakeries, street kiosks and open markets – big puffy rounds the size of tennis balls, sprinkled with powdered sugar. After Hanukkah, they vanish until next year (to the sorrow of sufganiya lovers like myself).

Until recently, the only filling was bright red jelly. In the days of yore, the big question was whether your doughnut had jelly in it or not. Sometimes, somewhere along the production line, some of the doughnuts would slip by without getting filled. That was always a bummer: biting into the yeasty dough only to find you’d been gypped…

Nowadays, variety is the thing. There are sufganiyot with custard, caramel and other fillings. But no matter what they’re filled with, dietetic they are not. Figure on 500 calories or so, per sufganiya.

Leave a Comment