The Freeway Chickens and other Los Angeles, CA Local Custom Tips

One day, in the late 1970's, a poultry truck rolled over on the 101 Freeway, heading downtown, and dozens of chickens ran free. Legend has it, that these plucky little critters survived and have set up home and family in the overgrown center median. LA Times writer Steve Harvey, regularly reports Freeway Chicken "sightings" in his column. Some insist they've spotted them off the 10 Freeway; that the birds are migrating East. Commuters have been known to toss muffins and bagels into the median, treating the traffic-trapped chickens to a healthy meal. I've yet to spot one, but I always keep one eye on the brush as I crawl South on the 101.

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Other Contact: 101 Fwy, Hollywood.

I am obliged to a gal who cuts hair on the other side of town. She is "rad". However, when she was outta town, I got my mop cropped at "Rudy's", a cool spot in Los Feliz.

Rudy's is a stylin' space - a re-worked auto shop that sells magazines and CDs while you wait. Cuts cost, I think $18, which is cheap for Los Angeles. Ask for "Dale". She knew what she was doing and was an absolute peach.

Worth a look if you need a haircut while in the City of Angels.

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Phone: 323.661.6535
Website: Metro Red Line ...Vermont/Sunset
Other Contact: 4451 Sunset Blvd. LA

Here's the Joke:

Q: What's the Capitol of Mexico?

A: Los Angeles

Indeed, LA has become a majority-minority city, with the largest minority population being, naturally, Mexican. The social and business impact of Mexican-Americans permeates every level of Los Angeles. However, the politically-disenfranchised Latino population has historically failed to exact any attention or resources for the local government. 2006 has changed the community forever.

Even before Congress took the misstep of "criminalizing" immigrants; a movement had begun. Only a few short years ago, charismatic Mexican-American Antonio Villaragoisa lost the race for Mayor to a VERY white man. His second attempt? A strong win. And, the latino student population of LA has begun organizing and protesting, filling anti-war protests with a militant fervor that is starkly leftist and quite boisterous for this apathetic city.

Then, in March of 2006, the big shock: A mass protest of proposed Draconian immigrant "reform" brings the largest protest in the history of Los Angeles. The Media, Congress, and Californians are taken entirely off-guard by this brazen demonstration of Latin unity & power. Los Angeles and The United States will never again underestimate this community.

(enlarge picture to read sign!)

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This is a challenge for any visitor or recent transplant to Los Angeles. Because the city is a mix of Mexican/Spanish and Anglo cultures, the pronunciations of locales, streets, neighborhoods and the like show little rhyme or reason. For example, "La Tijera Blvd" is pronounced true to its Spanish name: "Lah Tee Hair Uh". Whereas, for no reason, "La Cienega Blvd" is not. It's pronounced: "Lah See-en-uh-guh" vs. the "Lah See-uh-nay-gah" one would expect. Get it?

Here's a few:

Los Angeles(obvious): "Loss Ann-juh-luss"
Sepulveda Blvd: Seh-pull-vee-duh
Los Feliz: Lohs Fee-lezz (accent on second syllable
Wilshire: will-shurr
Alhambra: Al-hamm-bra
Van Nuys: Vann Nies(like "pie")
Palos Verdes: Palace Vair-days
Costa Mesa: Coast-ah May-sah

Make sense? Well, it never will, but this is how the locals say 'em, and there's something to be said for local tradition.

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You'd think that a city plagued by such horrible pollution and continuous natural disaster would bloom into a model of Earth-friendliness.....you'd be wrong.

Not even the worst air quality in the nation can deter Angelenos from purchasing obnoxious SUVs(Sport Utility Vehicles). Most disturbing, in my opinion, is watching housewives driving the Hummer military vehicle and its descendants. Those who peg Iraqis as "war obsessed" for bearing kalishnikovs should bear witness to Mrs. Suburbia dropping her kids off at baseball practice out of an upgraded attack vehicle. Classy! Will gas prices end this plague? We'll see.

But, I digress...

Parking spaces: If you're from the East Coast, you're the beneficiary of legislation that demands a "minimum width" to parking spaces from retailers and the like. Here, in California, there is no such law. Therefore, with the city ever-filling, spaces become ever narrower. Some are marked "Compact Only" which everybody ignores, and some drivers sink so low as to park on two spaces at the same time to protect their paint from those of us trying to can jam our asses into our cars. It's obnoxious on every front, but the problem isn't goin away.

There's a joke in this city: The only free parking is on the 405

Be prepared to climb out your hatchback! I'm serious. I've done it.

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Phone: no help for you!
Website: http://www.lgb.org

Carnaval in West Hollywood: Unreal. I moved here from NYC, six years ago, and the only event in Los Angeles that ever approaches "World" status, in my estimation, is the Carnaval.

It runs along Santa Monica Blvd from La Cienega to Robertson, where the street is closed to vehicles and the creatures of the night take over. The street crowd is so thick, you can hardly move.

Running flat through the gayest neighborhood in Southern California, you'll cheer and applaud the elaborate costumes and extravagant drag queens. And, as the day turns to night, you'll pony up and get in the long lines for the bars and clubs.

If you're in Los Angeles during Halloween, you MUST attend. And, if you are unsure of how to reach the parade, contact me here and I'll give you the local's skinny on how to do it.

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Website: http://www.weho.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/DetailGroup/navid/339/cid/1974/

The Sunset Junction Street Fair is an amazing, dynamic Los Angeles event that has become somewhat of a "last hurrah!" for summer in the City of Angels.

Originally conceived as an event to bring together the traditional Mexican neighborhood with the rapidly expanding gay community, Sunset Junction grew and expanded over the years to encompass a nascent art community and an electrifying rock and roll scene. Nowadays, revelers park fifteen blocks from the gates and pay a so called "donation" to enter the packed street festival.

This is as local an event as any in Los Angeles. The crowd runs from "daddies" in buttless leather chaps to young latino families pushing strollers. Fight your way through the crowd and you can enter the beer garden, buy a kilim, pick up a neon bong, and get yo' self a mohawk. Then again, you can win yourself a stuffed elephant, ride the ferris wheel and send your toddler down the slides: this, my friend, is the melding of cultures and it's never been so exciting.

Sunset Junction runs the last weekend of August, yearly. Sunset Blvd from Fountain Ave. to Golden Gate Ave.

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Los Angeles has the best radio station in the U.S.....hands down.

Publicly financed KCRW runs a fascinating array of programs. Midday is chock full of news programs, some world(BBC, NPR), and some local; while the mornings and evenings run progressive and innovative music programs.

The music programmers and djs at KCRW are some of the most influential in the world. The station has launched innumerable careers stateside(Jem, KT Tunstall, Damien Rice), and the music directors moonlight as music consultants for films(Little Miss Sunshine, for example).

Combine this influence with Los Angeles' location, and you have gold standard radio. Many musicians are locals, after all. Turn to 89.9, and you may hear Beck, live in studio. Or, Harry Shearer's live comedy/political series "Le Show". And don't be surprised if some celeb throws a coat over pajamas and rolls into the studio to fill in at the last minute.

Best part? KCRW is financed entirely by its members, meaning no ads and no corporate radio. Want local, kick*ss radio in LA? 89.9 KCRW.

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Phone: 1.800.600.KCRW
Website: www.kcrw.com

The best accessory in Los Angeles, hands down, is a killer bod.

Want to get into the hottest club? Be tight and toned. Sure, you can be wearing plastic payless shoes and copious fringe, but so long as you're showing some aerobicized skin, you're golden.

And, yes, it's pathetic and shallow.

For all the glam images of LA telescoped around the world, it's pretty tacky in reality. The lines of trash outside of the "hottest" clubs will make you double-take.

Walking up Cahuenga one night, my old NYC friend stared in disbelief at the hoochie crowds line up outside the bars: "Oh my God, this looks like something I'd see growing up in Louisiana..."

Yup.

But, if you got the body, you too can get in.

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