"Gavres" Gâvres by happybonzo

It was because our superb forward planning that we ended up in Gavres. We had a good look at the maps and there was a little town right at the end of a long sand spit.
We drove past a splendid missile testing range on the way there. We went up to the gate and asked if we could have a go but were told "Peaze oof" whatever that means but they were not giving "free tries" so we carried on.
As usual, we were travelling at our normal cruising speed of warp 9 and drove straight past the Aires.. We then had to turn round where some "Travelling Folk" (censored by the PC Thort Police) were parked up. They were having a fine old time, poo-ing in the bushes, burning a bit of cable, washing strewn all over the bushes and trees, milking the Horse. All the usual things that they like to do to endear themselves to the local populace. We turned around and pulled onto the Aires and parked up. We had noticed a sign on the way in that said " Le Parking - 48 heures seulement" and I thought that the French were trying to stop English words creeping into their language? In the event, no-one seemed to take any notice. Some people even parked their vans up and went home during the week thereby taking up loads of space that others could have used during the week.

The beach was really good; down the sea wall defences and there right in front of you was a huge sandy beach. On the other side of the road to the Aires there was a large patch of mud and the French rushed over there shrieking "Mange libre!" as the tide went down to harvest Cockles, or to give them their proper French name, "Les Cockes". HB collected half a bucket full and consumed them without any ill effect not that that means very much.

Around the Estuary mouth we found an old Fort. It was a fascinating place and a lot of money had been spent on the buildings. It was quite apparent that the local "Yoofs" used the place at night to have fires and drink. When we went back later there were quite a few hanging around but unlike this country (the UK), they stood politely to one side and let us through.

I have found that as I have travelled thru Life that one would imagine that with age one gained wisdom and worldly experience? I'm sorry to tell you that it is not the case.
I have had a visitation from the Emperor Mong in Gavres and I thought that I'd share it with you

It started on the annual Grog Fest in France this year... Having sailed over to Gavres, a pretty little port in Southern Brittany in the good yacht "Pearl Necklace" we decided to stroll around the village and help to lower the Wine Lake: After several bottles of Château Vomi at Madame Frou-Frou la Gop's Estaminet, we tumbled out into the street.
The scene, a shop in Gavres and looking for pacifying presents with which to bribe our various Mems...

Poor old HB, by now 3 sheets to the wind, blinking like an Owl in the gloom of the shop when who should appear but, you've guessed it, the Emperor.

EM - Greetings, snivelling worm

HB - Greetings your Majesty. I am so glad that you have turned up because I could do with some advice

EM - Ask away, foolish One

HB - Tell me Mighty Emperor and font of all knowledge: Would my little 2 year old Grand-Daughter like this pretty Dolly as a present or would she prefer this toy cuddly Thornback Ray?

EM - Why should you need to ask? Any little girl would like a cuddly Thornback ray

HB - Thank you, Your Majesty

Fast forward to Christmas Day

HB - And look what Santa has brought you Poppet

Tiny child - floods of tears and the Emperor's hysterical laughter in the background

• Pros:Quiet enough for me!
• Cons:Too quiet for some people!
• In a nutshell:Brilliant place