WHAT BAD BOYS AND GIRLS GET FOR CHRISTMAS! and other Vienna, Austria Local Custom Tips

Yes, I know some of you will be terribly disappointed to read that this is bit of genuine cultural info rather than an advert for fetish shops but it really is rather interesting! For if you travel to Vienna during the Advent season you will see amazed to see shop windows full of Father Christmas's and, 'er, devils! Fear not though, for these are simply chocolate/sugar/china/glass representations of the same chap - Krampus, devilish associate of St Nicholas and the berator of bad boys and girls.

On St Nikolaus Day (Dec 6th), Nicholas (or dad dressed up) visits Viennese households to find out what the children have been up to over the past year. Good chaps and chapesses are duly rewarded with fruit, nuts and other small treats whilst the others get a jolly good talking to! Well actually, Krampus is almost always depicted carrying a rather hefty broom which I doubt he's going to use for sweeping up. So be warned you blighters! Oh, and if you come to Vienna after the 6th December, all signs of him will have deftly disappeared from view. So pop over around the last week of November and you'll see him and the major Christmas markets.

However, be warned that if you see figures dressed as Krampus wandering the streets of the city bearing birches, you might want to stroll swiftly in the other direction lest you end up sampling a whack or two. Of course, some might find that an added attraction...'er, but let's not dwell on it!

Leave a Comment

Can there be anything more tempting to the average put-upon pedestrian than a really busy road that suddenly, inexplicably becomes emptied of traffic and seemingly safe to cross? Is there anything more pleasing than a solid stream of motor vehicles that momentarily parts offering the hitherto reluctant road crosser a chance - albeit a fleeting one - to vault from pavement A to pavement B? Here in the UK, risky road crossing is a national pastime. Rather than walk a few extra yards towards an official crossing point, your average man or women in the street will hurl themselves into any narrow gap that might form between adjacent moving lumps of pointy metal.

As for proper UK crossings - well the symbols are as follows:

GREEN MAN: Official meaning: Cross. Go on. You know you want to.
UK PRACTICE: Cross whilst dawdling. Pause to light your cigarette NOW (please ensure you use your mobile phone simultaneously)
RED MAN: Official meaning: Don't Cross
UK PRACTICE: Cross as exactly as before, move very slightly faster but feel free to argue with your boyfriend on the mobile.

Here in Vienna I strongly suggest you leave such temptations behind and stay rooted to the pavement until the Green Man beckons. Even if the approaching traffic is sucked into a giant spaceship and taken off to the Planet Quark, DO NOT CROSS ON RED! If you do so, you will be surrounded by more 'tuts' than a tourist in the Valley of the Kings. And, you know, it's all rather refreshing! You have been warned!!

Leave a Comment

No doubt about it, Vienna is one of the world's most beautiful cities. More impressive still, the local inhabitants are trying their very best to keep it that way. For Vienna is one of the cleanest, sparkliest cities I have ever seen. You get the feeling that if a passer-by inadvertently dropped a crisp packet they would pick it up and then hand themselves into the nearest police station for suitable punishment. Having a working social conscience seems to be a rare thing nowadays. So whilst London is awash with litter and my own beloved Brighton rattles with the empty carcasses of polystyrene take-away containers, Vienna seems to take an hourly shower and regular rub-down. I mean, just look at the bath they're giving the Natural History Museum!

To be honest, if your hotel has a terrible shower I'd just pop into the city centre first thing, strip off, and stand in front of any classical facade that has a dirty mark on it. You're sure to come away with you're frontage freshened and your promentaries polished!

Leave a Comment