"GLASTONBURY - QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS!" Top 5 Page for this destination Glastonbury by themajor

Glastonbury Travel Guide: 138 reviews and 436 photos

GLASTONBURY - MOST EXTRAORDINARY!

Upon entering Glastonbury it will soon become obvious that we are on a different plane. No, not Salisbury Plain - although one must admit that isn't too far away - but an Astral Plane! For dear readers, we have reached a realm where things are decidedly different and yet remarkably similar! Confused? I do hope so, for Glastonbury is the very Beacon of Befuddlement. People arrive to seek the answer to the 'Big Question' yet many leave having found delightfully questionable answers. It is fun but infuriating. It delights in running esoteric courses that ruffle the feathers of our staid society, yet will get awfully ruffled if you don't have the means to pay for them. It is a place where one minute you can enjoy the heady thrill of discovering a shop displaying 'real' magic wands, only to be brought down to earth the next by their hefty price tags. Moreover, it boasts a High Street in which the very air itself is made of one percent oxygen and ninety-nine percent joss stick. And yet, in spite of this, I do keep wandering back. Enlightenment can be found - why look, I have found it for you!

WHEN IN ROME!

There can be little doubt that there is a Glastonbury look, though what that look is, depends upon which side of the Great Divide you belong. My researches have uncovered three distinct types of Glastonburyite.
'The Local Type A' (Seeker of Truth and wearer of kaftans)
'The Local Type B' (Seeker of Tescos and a quiet pint away from the wearers of kaftans) and finally
'The Tourists' who can be either type A or B.

When I visit, I often frequent a café where the 'Local Type Bs' go to hide and stock up on toasted sandwiches. Tofu is unheard of here and the smell of incense has long given way to the smell of fried bacon. Nevertheless perhaps one ought to make a little more effort to blend in once one ventures into the main street and the plethora of New Age shops that lie beyond, for that dear reader is the lair of the Type As! Please allow me to furnish you with a snap of what to expect...

THE MAJOR'S VALIANT ATTEMPT

As you can imagine, this is a difficult look for me to attain. I have the moustache and beard but it lacks wilfulness and studied bedragglement. I tend to go for my usual bowtie and waxed moustache, which in itself is appealingly eccentric and (particularly when viewed against an overwhelming backdrop of tie-dye) does appear rather daring! However, over the Christmas period I fashioned this little number which I believe combines traditional charm with a smattering of pagan panache. What do you think? Right that's me done then. I'm going back!

Pros and Cons
  • Pros:Quite, quite mad
  • Cons:Quite, quite mad
  • In a nutshell:Mind where you dip your crystals!
  • Last visit to Glastonbury: Jul 2010
  • Intro Updated Sep 27, 2010
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Reviews (20)

Comments (17)

  • kiwi's Profile Photo
    Feb 7, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Crocodiles do tend to make one a bit serious, especially when one is in a tin boat!! :-))

  • 850prc's Profile Photo
    Feb 5, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    You're quite daft, man... but your page is an entertaining read. And if one is not very very cautious, they may actually learn something. Good show, old boy.

  • Nov 15, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    This is a beautiful shop and it full of lots of lovely things HOWEVER the prices are way too high and it leaves you with a sad and bad feeling !

  • rexvaughan's Profile Photo
    Apr 28, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    Well done, Nick. Information and entertainment in one package - rare indeed!

  • hunterV's Profile Photo
    Aug 10, 2008 at 12:32 PM

    What a peculiar destination! Time to experience the pleasure!

  • Nemorino's Profile Photo
    Jul 20, 2008 at 5:21 AM

    Amusing tips on "the very Beacon of Befuddlement."

  • mustertal's Profile Photo
    Jul 3, 2008 at 2:48 PM

    One has enjoyed reading these pages, only one is wondering whether one is A or B ? PS, the love potion doesn't work :)

  • littlesam1's Profile Photo
    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:27 PM

    Amusing and well done. I have become fascinated by Glastonbury and enjoyed your page.

  • Jenniflower's Profile Photo
    Jun 30, 2007 at 11:02 AM

    Loved this amusing and informative pg! Thx for warning re asthma pump - incense closes my chest right up! Feel rather sad for folk here, seem to be lost, spiritually and literally...

  • craic's Profile Photo
    Jun 25, 2007 at 7:12 AM

    very amusing - but rather scarey

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