"GLASTONBURY - QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS!" Top 5 Page for this destination Glastonbury by themajor

Glastonbury Travel Guide: 133 reviews and 424 photos

GLASTONBURY - MOST EXTRAORDINARY!

Upon entering Glastonbury it will soon become obvious that we are on a different plane. No, not Salisbury Plain - although one must admit that isn't too far away - but an Astral Plane! For dear readers, we have reached a realm where things are decidedly different and yet remarkably similar! Confused? I do hope so, for Glastonbury is the very Beacon of Befuddlement. People arrive to seek the answer to the 'Big Question' yet many leave having found delightfully questionable answers. It is fun but infuriating. It delights in running esoteric courses that ruffle the feathers of our staid society, yet will get awfully ruffled if you don't have the means to pay for them. It is a place where one minute you can enjoy the heady thrill of discovering a shop displaying 'real' magic wands, only to be brought down to earth the next by their hefty price tags. Moreover, it boasts a High Street in which the very air itself is made of one percent oxygen and ninety-nine percent joss stick. And yet, in spite of this, I do keep wandering back. Enlightenment can be found - why look, I have found it for you!

WHEN IN ROME!

MIXING THE RAFFISH WITH THE RAFFIA

There can be little doubt that there is a Glastonbury look, though what that look is, depends upon which side of the Great Divide you belong. My researches have uncovered three distinct types of Glastonburyite.
'The Local Type A' (Seeker of Truth and wearer of kaftans)
'The Local Type B' (Seeker of Tescos and a quiet pint away from the wearers of kaftans) and finally
'The Tourists' who can be either type A or B.

When I visit, I often frequent a café where the 'Local Type Bs' go to hide and stock up on toasted sandwiches. Tofu is unheard of here and the smell of incense has long given way to the smell of fried bacon. Nevertheless perhaps one ought to make a little more effort to blend in once one ventures into the main street and the plethora of New Age shops that lie beyond, for that dear reader is the lair of the Type As! Please allow me to furnish you with a snap of what to expect...

THE MAJOR'S VALIANT ATTEMPT

THE MAJOR IN LEAFY SUBURBIA

As you can imagine, this is a difficult look for me to attain. I have the moustache and beard but it lacks wilfulness and studied bedragglement. I tend to go for my usual bowtie and waxed moustache, which in itself is appealingly eccentric and (particularly when viewed against an overwhelming backdrop of tie-dye) does appear rather daring! However, over the Christmas period I fashioned this little number which I believe combines traditional charm with a smattering of pagan panache. What do you think? Right that's me done then. I'm going back!

Pros and Cons

Pros:Quite, quite mad
Cons:Quite, quite mad
In a nutshell:Mind where you dip your crystals!

Last visit to Glastonbury: Jul 2010
Intro Updated Sep 27, 2010
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Reviews (20)

Monkey puzzle - Where are they? - Glastonbury

Delicious - but low on monkeys! Restaurants (2)

As a foodie of some years standing...well, some years sitting down with a knife and fork to be honest - I have been in... more travel advice

Rather attractive for the Stone Age! - Glastonbury

Prehistoric pleasures at modern prices Shopping (9)

It's the name that gives it away. This rather charming shop front hides an array of stones; not perhaps the Rolling... more travel advice

Star of the show Shopping (9)

One of the things I really love about Glastonbury is it's marvellous array of curious and quirky shops. Needless to say,... more travel advice

The ultimate accuracy in shop naming - Glastonbury

Gods on the High Street Shopping (9)

There are some shops whose names are a disappointment from the word go. Woolworths for example is not overflowing with... more travel advice

Comments (17)

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kiwi Feb 7, 2011 at 6:06 PM

Crocodiles do tend to make one a bit serious, especially when one is in a tin boat!! :-))
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850prc Feb 5, 2011 at 5:40 PM

You're quite daft, man... but your page is an entertaining read. And if one is not very very cautious, they may actually learn something. Good show, old boy.
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missjaney Nov 15, 2009 at 10:45 AM

This is a beautiful shop and it full of lots of lovely things HOWEVER the prices are way too high and it leaves you with a sad and bad feeling !
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rexvaughan Apr 28, 2009 at 1:36 PM

Well done, Nick. Information and entertainment in one package - rare indeed!
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hunterV Aug 10, 2008 at 12:32 PM

What a peculiar destination! Time to experience the pleasure!
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Nemorino Jul 20, 2008 at 5:21 AM

Amusing tips on "the very Beacon of Befuddlement."
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mustertal Jul 3, 2008 at 2:48 PM

One has enjoyed reading these pages, only one is wondering whether one is A or B ? PS, the love potion doesn't work :)
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littlesam1 Oct 26, 2007 at 12:27 PM

Amusing and well done. I have become fascinated by Glastonbury and enjoyed your page.
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Jenniflower Jun 30, 2007 at 11:02 AM

Loved this amusing and informative pg! Thx for warning re asthma pump - incense closes my chest right up! Feel rather sad for folk here, seem to be lost, spiritually and literally...
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craic Jun 25, 2007 at 7:12 AM

very amusing - but rather scarey