"Life is Love. Love is fleeting. Mullet is eternal." drowninredwine's Profile

There was the BOWL. Playful, yet unimaginative. Conservative. And arduous to maintain.
We've always had the CREW. An unpleasant choice that broadcasts self-loathing, military, anger, and inclinations towards homosexuality.
Ah, the famous COMB-OVER. A bold and daring look. Yet, unfortunately, rarely successful and often accompanied by the flavor-saver moustache with disastruous consequences.
There are the SIDE-PARTS, and, to a lesser extent, the MIDDLE PART. All decent choices if the goal is to maintain the generic disposition of one's vanilla lifestyle....
But then there is the MULLET. Stunning. Perfection. Simplistic in design- as aerodynamic as a boeing. Sturdy in function, it holds up to the rigors of soccer (or football as they say out here), the grand-daddy of the mullet-required vocations. It is a statement of fact to the highest court, the one above. In all its glory, it is a flowing beacon waving to the masses that screams life, love and truth. In essence, it is the final realization of God's gift to man and woman alike. In reality, it is the mullet.

Behold! The appeal of the mullet. Intoxicating!

Born in the Bronx, NYC. Moved at age 1 to Upstate NY. Moved at age 8 to Paris, France. Moved at age 12 to Los Angeles. Moved at age 15 to New Jersey. "A turbulent childhood filled with broken promises, missed opportunities, and bowl haircuts. My parents shaved my head bald when I was two. Talk about starting life on the wrong foot! "

The power of the mullet is unrivaled.

Moved at 17 for college in St. Louis: "Hell on earth. Maybe thats why they call it the bible belt. I don't remember too much. Except that the the the Midwest is the as*hole of the world. Bomb Iraq? No, bomb Missouri! And Kansas, And Oklahoma....Their only saving grace is the local propensity for the mullet. Just stop by any gas station."

Joy and jubilation. This is the way of the mullet.

6 months in NYC. Moved at 22 to Maui, Hawaii. Moved at 24 to Manila, Philippines. Moved at 25 to Oahu. More college... Culinary Arts.
"Hawai'i was a blast. Maui no ka oi! The people love the earth. The women epitomize beauty. The men sport the mullet. What more could you ask for in life? Wierd scenes in the Philippines: Lots of pollution and jeepneys, homeless children smoking cigs and running scams, sweltering heat, brothels galore. 98 percent Roman Catholic. And nary a mullet as far as the eye could see."

Race, Gender, IQ, the mullet cares not.

At 26 took a year off (the stress was unbearable) and backpacked through Asia. Moved from Hawaii to NYC at 27. Moved to Milan, Italy at 30. "They love the mullet in Cambodia. Ergo, I love the Cambodians- Nothing like fending off a mullethead who is trying to sell you a trip that includes blowing a cow to bits with an AK-47. Laos is more of a bowl cut place. Awakened every morning at 5AM by community bullhorns blaring some crap about the revolution. 5 AM is not good for the hair. NYC has always had a place in my heart- there, they come in all sizes, shapes, and lengths."

Happiness is the mullet (pills n' booze help too)

Milan, Italy. "Milan.... Whats there to say? Yeah there's the models. Bone thin- the emaciated look just gets my hair a thumping. And the incredibly fattening food...Yum! But.... something is missing."

It is never too early to take the mullet oath.

Shanghai and Suzhou. "Once again my life has taken a turn for the worse. The beauty has faded like an old solidstate tv. I see receeding hairlines, naked foreheads and side parts. And bowl cuts from street to crowded street. Will there be no end to this misery? When will someone come along and wave their beautiful mane and bring meaning to this empty existence?"

The few. The proud. The mullet.

"I will maintain the spirit and shape of the aerodynamic. I will ride the wind as it passes through my flowing locks. I will stay light on my feet and heavy on my head. I will be the mullet. This I promise. "