Ireland Local Custom Tips by sourbugger

Many Irish people cross themselves (in the correct Roman Catholic manner) whenever they see a church.

This is all very well, but I heard a story recently that the teller swears is true.

On taking off from Heathrow airport, London staff were crossing themselves as they passed a church near the end of the runway.

This apparantly so alarmed some of the passengers that Aer Lingus (the national airline) had to send out an official memo that banned the practice.

Many Irish people will also cross themselves when they pass a statue of the virgin Mary, and when they pass a collection of flowers placed to remember a road accident victim.

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The Illicit distilling of Poteen takes place in many areas across Ireland, although you are much more likely to come across it in the wilder parts of the west.

Sometimes known as Irish moonshine, it is in fact similar to vodka as it is based on the Potato. Be warned (I almost put this on the dangers section) it can be very strong - although you seem to get drunk from the feet up, and when you stand up : you tend to fall down again.

Being illegal, one should not ask for the stuff, but if you are really getting on well with someone a bottle might just appear !

You can now buy commercially produced stuff, but it is obviously far weaker and less potent than the real McCoy.

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Despite what may will tell you, Irish Coffee began from the time of the first flights across the atlantic during WWII. Shannon Int. Airport outside Limerick became one of the last airports for re-fuelling, and it was here that the bartender Joe Sheridan invented this calorific nightmare in a glass..

Tea had been drunk with whiskey for years but it was Joe who mixed coffee, brown sugar, and fine whisky, topped with whipped cream and served the drink in a glass.

It must be the only drink to my knowledge that was actually invented in what is normally a god forsaken place : the airport bar.

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It is something of a truism that in many parts of the world you end up with an excess of some sort of foodstuff. If is not surprising, therefore, that excess apples become Scrumpy / Cider, excess Pears become Calvados and excess potatoes become Vodka. I'm sure there are countless other examples as well.

And what do we have an excess of in Ireland ? (apart from rain)....Milk...gallons of the stuff.

It was only in 1974 that the now world-famous brand was invented. The distilling company also owned a dairy...and it a great bit of lateral thinking, Bailey's was born. It got the name from a bar in Dublin that the inventors often frequented in the course of the drink's development.

Legend has it that the drink became known across the world by the company liberally plying every Air Lingus Stewardess they could find with the stuff. If anyone is going to sing the drinks' merits it would be a drunk Irishwoman !

Rich and creamy....a bit of a girly drink...but a very comforting tipple if you'r feeling a bit low.

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I was talking the other day to the most important man in any Irish town...the man who delivers the Guinness to the pubs.

He said that an average pub would, even just a few years ago, take about a dozen kegs of the black stuff to keep drinkers happy for a week. These days most average pubs, outside of the main cities, only need to take half that amount. It didn't seem to him that the Irish (plus a few tourists of course) are drinking any less. it's just that they have switched to other drinks....which Guinness also supply !

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There is a well known legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland, well believe it if you like. The story goes that sometime back in the fifth century he stood on the mountain that is now 'Cragh Patrick' (about 10kms from Westport) and used a staff to drive the slimy little things into the sea.

There maybe no snakes in Ireland but - there were probably never any snakes in Ireland.

It has more to do with the vagaries of geography than any little miracles performed by St. Paddy.

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You may think that 'borat' is irreverant, but just wait until you see the best thing produced by RTE in years.

Rodge and Podge now have a TV chat show. These identical twins are aged (so says the website) 54, but they always look the same age to me. Possibly because they a puppets (there, I said it, the secret is out) and can thus get away with 'Blue Murder'. On a programme I watched they interviewed Jonny Logan (the Eurovision winner) and made him identify a range of weird and wonderful condoms in a game called 'Here's johnney...' The guest responded by saysing that "He had sung for the Pope you know". I think Podge commented that they would make the Pope play the same game if he came on the show !

The typical show will have a couple of guests, and some novelty acts. The show will normally be opened in some self-deprecating way like "Let's see what pile of S***E we have on tonight". It tends to go downhill from there.

Here are a couple of excerpts from their biographies of the RTE website :

podge :

Childhood activities: Pick pocketing, taxidermy and thieving from dead people.

Sex life and moral beliefs: A professional pervert.

Rodge :

Religious background and current religious beliefs: Altar boy for the Church of Satan.

Hobbies: Ladies bicycle saddle collecting, Monkey collecting-he has all 160 species of primate in the attic. Other hobbies include Dolphin shooting, cat shooting, dog shooting, shooting in general.

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Website: www.rte.ie