Boston Warnings Or Dangers Tips by sourbugger

Standards of B & B's

Do not on any account book any of the Bed & Breakfast establishments in Boston (except for the rather fine establishment on Spilsby road - see other tip) until you have viewed it first.

I'm not going to be done for libel, but a certain establishment I looked at recently seemed to have the unique selling feature of smelling like a cross between a dead cat and a nine-month old collection of Bramley apples (there is a clue in there, folks !)

Another one (cryptic clue - Equalgrass B & B) features acceptable rooms, but a guest lounge containing the world's worst pub carpet, furniture lifted from a 1050 Glasgow tennament building and a seven foot tall fibreglass black waiter offering you a drink. Not exactly my taste.

Home of the most lard-arses in the UK

Who ate all the pies ? who ate all the pies ?

You did. You did. You fat B***ard.

There has been quite a lively interest over the last year about a report which claimed that Boston is the 'fattest' town in the UK. Within Boston one particular postcode stands out as the fattest poscode of all.

Some 31% of the population are clininically obese. You can see them hauling their fat lardy asses over to ASDA to buy their supply of lard-laden pies.

If you want to avoid cracked pavements or want to avoid getting stuck in a narrow alley with a local - then don't visit !

Enjoying a good fight - meet the mutants

It is a sad fact of life that here, as in many small english towns the local Neatherdals, fresh from their elation at falling out of a tree and discovering fire on the same day feel a need to whallop other Neatherdals at around closing time on Friday and Saturday nights.

The female of the sub-species are especially to be avoided - it takes a whole vanload of coppers to seperate two Bostonian women intent on ripping each other to shreds.