Mondays and Tuesdays and other Paris, France Local Custom Tips

Due to the fact that the major museums operate weekends, it is still customary for the major museums to shut one day within the working week.

Whilst this is an inconvenience, it is of course possible to plan around it.

Places live the Lourve and the Pompidou shut on Tuesdays and the Orsay on Mondays.

Check out the websites of the museums you plan to visit in order to confirm details and plan accordingly.

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The glorious 1789 revolution may have been all about equality, but innate snobbiness and one up-man-ship is very much part of the character of Paris. It matters very much which arrondisment you live in, for instance.

Even that great egalitarian concept of the metro system used to be divided into first and second class in Paris. The first class carriage in the middle of the train was a different colour and less crowded, but that was about it. I guess you just paid the extra not to have to mix with the great unwashed.

Such carriages are a thing of the past, but Parisiens still cling to any oportunity to show the superiority they believe they possess (I would call it in-breed arrogance). Take for example the lift system at the Eiffel tower : despite the fact that queues may snake back further than the the most poopular ride at a Disney theme park, one lift is dedicated purely for patrons of the ultra-posh Jules Verne restaurant ! - says it all really.

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It's not every day that you get to write a tip on VT which allows you (quite legitmately) to talk about fishnet tights, topless women, black twangy suspender belts,and not to mention tight basques and rivers of sweat.

Still, enough about last night, I am course talking about the can-can.

It actually began back in the 1830's as a rather risque dance for couples, but evolved in time to the stage performance, mainly athletically performed by young women that we have today.

The 'high kicking' was alway part of it, but the holding the dress up bit only really came along in the 1890's when far more interesting and erotically exciting lingerie became available.

The dance is still very popular today, and still very much enjoyed by the French themselves. You can of course enjoy it at world -famous establishments, like the Moulin Rouge, but you will be paying a pretty penny for it !

I have heard it said that in the 'gay paris' era, the more upmarket establishments put on the show with full costume and finery, but there was then a kind of 'pecking order' , so at the bottom of the pile you ended up with a bunch of old tarts dancing on the bar with no underwear on at all !

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For many years it was the case that Paris virtually shut down during August. I guess in the days before air-conditioning it made alot of sense. Nowadays, it is still the case that many smaller, usually family-run, restaurants and shops close for the duration of August (or sometimes July, or sometimes both). The same is also true of many theatres and similar places.

It must be a mark of how well Paris does as a tourist destination, as elsewhere in Europe August is the month when such businesses make a good deal of their annual turnover.

It is a mark of how much the city 'empties out', that for the fast few years (since 2002) a two mile stretch of the right bank of the Seine is converted to a beach. I've not been, but thousands of tons of sand, palm trees and a swimming pool seem to have been an enormous hit - and now a tradition that Paris will expect to see every year.

The beach area is normally a dual carriageway, and closing it for a month (last week in July and first three in August) at any other time of the year would cause mayhem and gridlock.

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The Le Pere Lachaise cemetry , (6, rue du Repos, Paris 20e France) is well on the beaten track of tourist destination in Paris. Featuring a whole range of famous people lying in residence, it struck me as a kind of Madame Tussaud's of the next world.

There are also a number of customs that have arisen associated with certain graves.

Oscar Wilde's grave lies to the rear of the cemetry and features a modernist sculpture of an Egyptian. The white stone used for the monument has been covered in the last few years by Women (and perhaps a few men) leaving a big smacking kiss on the outside. The fats in Lipstick apparantly seep into the stone and are an absolute bugger to remove.

The descendents of the family have attempted to scrub the monument clean several times in the past. This time they are seeking corporate sponsorship for the costly operation and are trying to talk L'oreal into coughing up.

All seems a bit pointless me - I think it is a very refreshing new tradition that speaks volumes about the way Oscar is still regarded and loved.

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One of the statues in the famous cemetry of Pere Lachaise is one to a journalist, Victor Noir, who was shot in 1870.

In the cemetry he lies out in a full size brove effigy. He was obviously a good looking man, and it would appear (if the statue is anatomically correct) rather well endowed in the trouser department.

Over the years people of the female persuasion have been known to have a little rub of his of his now quite shiny appendage in the hope of producing a little package in nine months time.

Some time ago a little fence was put up around the grave and a sign saying "Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will be prosecuted." Unsurprising the fence got torn down by irate females intent getting their hands on Victor's magical powers.

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I have a mate of mine who has a theory as to why French food is so good. He claims that when the English layed siege to French towns in medieval times, the inhabitents had to eat rats and such like, so they concocted sauces to make any old muck taste OK.

On the other hand he also argues the French buy so much perfume because French women don't wash too often and use the l'eau d'toilette to cover the odd bit of whiffiness.

I could of course not condone such outragous views, but he is at least right in that one hell of alot a perfume is shifted on the ground floor of Paris's premier department store ; Galleries Lafayette.

As I had half an hour to kill in this place I tried to work out what attracted consumers to the different brands that all had their own counters. French Women seemed to know exactly what they wanted - heading straight for the main brands like Channel. Most Frenchmen appeared to wander about until they found the counter with what they considered to be the most attractive sales assistants. The John-Paul Gaultier counter seemed to especially busy that day.

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France is firmly in Euroland, the new currency accepted right across Europe (except for the UK and Switzerland).

Some French however hanker back for the days when the French Franc was the only currency in town. Hence a few relics remain, as in the picture. It will however only accept the new-fangled Euro's in it's tills.

This shop (if you really want to buy some cheaply produced tat) is just north of the Gare St Lazare on Rue Amsterdam

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The area above the underpass at the Pont de l'alma has become an important place for some visitors to Paris. They leave their grafittied messages to Diana, princess of Wales and Dodi who died in the underpass. What actually happened that night is still the subject of some rather wild conspiracy theories.

Some messages express simple regret, whilst others refer to various shady security organisations who may have engineered something.

The area is scrubbed from time to time, but the area was covered in messages when I visited in November 2005. There were also a few flowers of the nearby 'golden flame' that has become another unofficial memorial to the death.

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