"Bumbling in London as only I can do " a London Travel Page by LolaSanFrancisco

London is so very VERY. I remember the first time I was in London. I did the backpacker thing with a boyfriend. We landed in London with no idea of what to do, where we were going or staying at. Needless to say, the 3 nights we did spend there ate up most of our budget for a week and we were staying in creepy hostels and eating bread and cheese! So we split right the hell out of that town. But I swore I would come back a rule London one day. So 10 years later, on my 30th birthday I did, or at least come back?

I was headed to Egypt for a two-week tour with Contiki Tours. So I decided to land in London, and get over jet lag before my big trip down the Nile. So, I set up a 3-night stay in London. And I did it up! This was my second time traveling by the first time and myself back to Europe since the disaster I like to call ?My backpacking through Europe nightmare?.
I landed in Heathrow and had pre arranged transfers to my hotel The Rubens Palace Hotel . When I arrived after several others were let off first at so-so Best Western style hotels, I was totally blown away. This hotel was the finest I have ever stayed at, and I have been known to blow a paycheck on a good hotel. I quickly realized I was not warring the right outfit. I had a long sleeved black tee shirt on that had in big letters on the front: SIN. Ummmm?. The front desk got a kick out of it, but I felt thrashed and out of place.
My room had a window facing the back entrance to Buckingham Palace, where the Queen comes and goes from, very cool. I tried my best to stay up, to get over jet lad, but I fell right to sleep. And as I was lying on the bed, buck-ass-naked, I hear a knock on the door. Oh coarse I didn't answerer; I didn't want to be disturbed, then it hit me, oops, I forgot to put the little sign on the door! By then it was too late, the funny front desk had sent up a bottle of wine, and dude just walked in on my buck-ass-nakedness. I had not been in London more than 4 hours and I had already shocked the crap out of these Brits twice.

The next day, I made arrangements for a guided tour of The Tower of London and St. Pauls Cathedral (http://www.grayline.com). I had to meet the coach pick up at The Royal National Hotel at 1:00pm. So I arrived earlier and went inside to take a "slash." I nicely put toilet paper around the seat, and peed, went back up stairs, had a drink, walked over to the bus and took off for St. Paul's Cathedral. After walking around for a bit, I saw out of the corner of my eye and lady trying to grab my ass! I turned and looked and noticed she was now pointing to my ass, WHERE A VERY LONG PIECE OF TOILET PAPER WAS HANGING OUT OF MY PANTS! Ahhhhhhhgrrrr. For about 5 seconds everything stopped. And then I just busted out laughing, yelling and giggling: ?So I have been walking around London for two hours with a piece of toilet paper hanging out my ass, and not single British person would say a word! I took someone from Toledo to let me know? Oh, for crying out loud. Day two, and I am no better at being cool then the day before.
I laid low after that. Venturing out only in the shadows and back street. But I swore I would come back and rule that town.